My gilrfriend was married to my husband's best friend and they recently got a divorce in March. My hubby's bestfriend is still in love with my girlfriend but she wants nothing to do with him. she recently came over and told me she is 2 months pregnant by her old boyfriend. She doesn't want me to tell my hubby because he will tell his best friend who is her ex-hubby. part of me wants to tell my hubby and his best friend because I don't want my hubby's best friend to be in shock or devastated by stumbling onto her pregnancy yet I want to honor my gilrfriend by not telling her secret. i love them both. Moreover, if my hubby finds out that I knew, he will be upset and say that I lied to him because i withheld this information from him.
2007-07-18 18:15:49 · 20 answers · asked by cha-cha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its a bad idea to keep secrets from your husband, but this does sound like an exception. I would use some serious discretion here. The thing is, she is going to show the pregnancy soon, and then the secret will be out. So he is going to find out....
2007-07-18 18:19:03 · answer #1 · answered by Steve C 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, it is a well known fact that men are more visual than women are. That would be why pornography is such a huge money making business. There really is nothing wrong with it, as long as it is not the type that shows people getting hurt or beastiality, along those lines, some women enjoy it to a degree too. It may make your girlfriend uncomfortable or she may just not be mature enough to understand it. All I can tell you is adopt the "don't ask, don't tell" policy. If she asks you directly, don't lie. Tell her what you liked most about it and why you felt the need to look at it. Just be honest. But if she does not ask you directly about it, leave it alone. I personally think that all men like porn if they were honest about it. And most women see it as some kind of unspoken threat "Don't I satisfy you?". It is a tough situation but I think that is the best policy.
2016-05-17 06:55:38 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A secret is a thing to be honor, did you promise to keep that secret for her, if so, you should honor your promises. That is why secret is a stress. In future, dun try to take in secret, the less the merrier. Those who kept too much secret are stress pple with no freedom of speech nor self.
On the other hand, you must know your limitation as a friend, friend only give sound advices to each other with trust in a way of caring but not involve deep into each personnal lifestyle. It is through respect of each other limitation that good friends are born. And most importantly, because of good friends you can get enemy when the handling or relationship of friend turn sour. So, handle with care. Human relationship is damn fragile.
Try not to get emotionally involve, just be a good listener and give some useful advices, as far as it is concern, this issue got nothing to do with you and your husband relationship. If they come to know it, so be it, just tell them you are do not know anything not to mention even to bother about it.
Anyway, your friends were divorced, so no issue, she/he can choose whatever partners or lifestyle they wish, it's their life, not yours ya. Keep it cool and focus on your own lovely family.
2007-07-18 18:44:56 · answer #3 · answered by butterfly 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Keep the secret. If he tries to get mad at you, just explain you wanted to respect your friends wishes and would be ok with it if he did the same thing. I know my husband would be upset, but he'd get over it rather quickly if I told him that because secrets are important to keep in some cases. Or you could act like you seriously didn't know, then no one would know the difference.
2007-07-18 18:22:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Thats really in worst situation but nevertheless honesty is still the best policy. If he really love the girl then he will still accept her. But its a case to case basis. It depends on how ur hubby will think bout that. But if im in that case i will tell my hubby and they should talk bout it. ok
2007-07-18 18:50:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey always do what your heart tells you.You live with your hubby and you see him every day and on the other hand you only see your friend once in a while so think whats more important to you.
2007-07-18 18:23:24 · answer #6 · answered by Marisol R 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell your hubby and let the chips fall where they may. Your relationship with him trumps that of your girlfriend. Also, the best friend has a right to know he's fathered a child. Don't be part of the conspiracy withholding that information from him.
2007-07-18 18:21:42 · answer #7 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your husband and his best friend will both find out eventually. Your committment should be to your husband in this one. It's not like you are hiding a secret that is never to be found out - it's going to be hard to keep this one a secret much longer.
2007-07-18 18:19:22 · answer #8 · answered by Scrapper 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your hubby, lose your friend. I would keep the secret because it really isn't your secret to tell.
2007-07-18 20:00:08 · answer #9 · answered by smileygurl80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think your husband can keep the secret, then tell him. However that does put him in the exact situation your in..except with his good friend. If you decide not to tell him, explain that it was so that he didn't have to lie to his friend. It's going to come out eventually, but don't do anything without telling your friend first.
2007-07-18 18:25:39 · answer #10 · answered by Nina 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋