Does anyone out there feel the way i feel? Or at least know what im going through?

Question

Tomorrow will be 1 month since i lost my baby girl. I lost her at 8 weeks. Im not doing to well. I have up until this point and now i am a wreck. I just listened to a song by the offspring called "gone away" it really made me fall apart. But in a good way. In the song he talks about how she was "pulled away before her time".... "it feels like heaven is so far away". And he "would trade places if he could". It is the best song for how i feel at this point. I just really want someone who is feeling the same way as me. Im only 19 and no one i personally know can even remotley relate.

Wow some of you out there are just rude. I know theres no way to tell the sex. We wanted a girl so she was a girl. We named her and everything. My bad for trying to reach out to someone. I will learn to keep all of my emotions inside of me.

Answer 1

how very sensative of you jennanderton2006. allot of ppl who loose a baby will feel that it was a certain gender! i have a friend who lost a baby years ago and says she just knows it was a girl. Now let me say i know just exactly how you feel i just lost a baby at 9 weeks on June 2nd. its so hard to cope i think each day how far along i should be. i have had 2 ppl Im close to have babies in the past month i go and act all happy and i really just want to cry along with ppl announcing that they are pregnant. its so hard where is my baby why did i have to loose my baby!!!! i feel like there is this hole in my heart like im missing a piece of my self. we just went today to see a friend who just got home from the hospital and my 2 year old son was loving on the baby and so sweet he was patting the baby and wanted to hold him he kept saying baby baby all night. i know i have no reason to think that i will never get that but i had it and it was taken away. I am grateful that I have my son it does help. i don’t go a day with out crying or an hour without thinking about it. im trying to focus my attention on potty training my son and the count down to being able to try again. you can email me at [e-mail] here is a poem i found that touched me.

When a baby arrives,
be it for a day, a month, a year or more,
or perhaps only a sweet flickering moment-
the fragile spark of a tender soul
the secret swell of a new pregnancy
the goldfish flutter known to only you-
you are unmistakeningly changed...
the tiny footprints left behind on your heart
bespeak your name as Mother

Answer 2

I absolutely know what you're going through. I miscarried my first child at 11 weeks. I never saw it coming. I felt empty, I couldn't really feel anything for a while. I felt like I couldn't even move and everyday things like going to work or getting the mail just seemed pointless. Then when I thought I was doing better I would find myself crying at the oddest times. I would be folding clothes and just start crying for no apparent reason. I didnt even feel sad when these spells would begin. My doctor said this was normal. One day, about a year later, I decided that every life had a purpose and although my child's life was way too short I felt that he had served his purpose and had gone on to be one of god's angels. I knew he'd be up there waiting for me and I would meet him someday. This gave me the peace and comfort I needed to get past the pain. It took about a year of these untimely crying spells but I did feel better. And today I have two beautiful children and I appreciate them so much more after having felt such a loss. I was always afraid that I would have a hard time having kids after that but I haven't had any more problems. I wish I could tell you something to make the pain go away but the truth is the only way to make it go away is to feel it. You have to grieve in order to get past the pain. And then one day when you have grieved enough you will find something that makes it all make sense to you. This will allow you to accept what has happened, stop blaming yourself, stop trying to figure out what you did wrong, and just move on.
I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you. (hugs)

Answer 3

I understand what your going thru. But, miscarriage is normal. Most women will have a miscarriage during their reproductive years. It is not uncommon. It just means that something wasn't right with the development of the fetus, and nothing you did.
One thing, you cant find out the sex of the fetus at 8 weeks. But one coping method to kinda relate would be to give the fetus an identity. Loosing anything is hard. Your going to be sad. But, i do believe that everything happens for a reason. You need to pick your head up, and be strong. Everything in life is a learning experience.
There is support out there. Check with a hospital, or clinic. Alot of places have free support places. Check em out. I bet you will find a lot of young ladies out there who are looking for support from other people like you.

Answer 4

Honey you need some counseling, but you probably cant afford it. Look on the internet for miscarriage support groups, my sisiter and sister in law both did that after their miscarriages, there are many people out there who have lost their babies,and the support sight will help you by letting you talk to other mothers and helping each other through the pain. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Answer 5

When I was eighteen I lost my baby boy, it was the most horrible thing that I have ever went through. I let myself grieve, I named the baby also, and then I moved on. My baby is still in my heart and I still love him even though I never met him, but life will go on and it will get better. This happed to me three years ago but sometimes it still hurts, you just can't let yourself be consumed by it.

Answer 6

aww i am so sorry to hear that u just brought a tear to my eyes i to am only 19 and pregnant with my first child i am 12 weeks at this point i feel such a connection with my baby everyone tells me im crazy u cant feel your baby now but i do and if i was to loose it i would go crazy not because i want a baby but because im a mother and this is my child

Answer 7

I miscarried about 6 years ago...i was only about 6 weeks along, but it tore me apart.

It is normal to feel like you do. It honestly will be really hard at first, but it does get better. It takes time, and support. It took me months to get semi normal emotionally (it is like the first couple weeks, your body levels out, then the emotional wall hits).

YOu are not alone, if you need to talk tosomeone, you can email me.

Answer 8

OH YES I DO!!! I can relate very much. I had alot of miscarriages before they discovered i have and incompetant cervix. Then I lost my son at 22weeks. Babycenter.com has an awesome support board that would be perfect for you, so many women that can relate on so many levels. It will get better sweetie!!! If ya ever wanna chat one on one email me at [e-mail] and maybe we can get on Messenger. Good Luck and may god be with you!

Answer 9

I'm so sorry for your loss. Give yourself time to grieve. I hope you have some people around you that can grieve with you and help you through this tough time. Don't try to do it alone.

God bless you and your little baby.

Answer 10

i truely understand your feelings, as whn i had my miscarriage i had the same feeling, i feel it is normal.. but than when my hubby explained me that it was god's wish to tke my baby away... may be she/he must have been a angel and a dearest among god...gud na to feel so.. so why to worry about the one who is in safe place..

infact it is better to live your life and try in future... and believe me now i have a beautiful, sweet little girl.. who I believe is the same baby .. my little angel.. who god sent at the right time..

may be he felt u r a little small to tke care of his angel..dont worry he wil surly give u that little one back...for that u have to get more strong and try to overcome in this situation..

all the best!!!