What can I possibly do to save my marriage?

Question

My wife, who I have been in love with, been through hell with, and who is bipolar schitzophrenic. Has now decided that I cannot meet her needs as a Super caretaker. Now what I mean is that I am very sympathetic to her needs and her capabilities and would not hold her back from any pursuit that her heart desires. I supported almost every decision that we made. Now she is very distant and has once again for the 4th time left me. I can no longer understand why I have to be the one who is left behind to suffer the consequences while she is just content to have left me there. All the while making bad decisions along the way just to have another reason to try and involve me somehow. I love my wife, but all of this is making me very transparent as to who I am and what I was trying to accomplish in my life. I am not a selfish person, but it really seems that lately that I have worn myself thin on the concept of what it takes to be with this woman. Am I just being foolish to continue? y is this

Answer 1

Sorry dude, you seem like a nice guy,but I can tell you from experience, bipolar doesn't get better. It gets worse and you will destroy your self trying to be everything she needs/wants/desires. over time she will begin blaming you for everything she feels is wrong with her life. Do your self the biggest favor of your life. Throw in the towel, cut your losses and leave. You may have to love her from a distance, but she'll destroy you if you stay. You deserve to be happy too. When the time is right, find somebody to appreciate you for who you are, not what you can do for them.

Answer 2

I don't think you can save this marriage, but you can save yourself.

You have tried to be a good husband in a difficult situation and your wife has decided that it isn't enough. It takes two to be married and she no longer wants to be married to you. Let her go and move on.

Answer 3

May God bless your sweet soul,Some people are just not wired right and never will be. Leave and don't ever feel guilty, you did your best.you have a short life to live my friend, be responsible for your happiness as of today....only you can save yourself. She WILL take you down..It won't even matter to her, she's in her own world.

Answer 4

Well, I have been with a bipolar man that practically destroyed my life, but I'm sure schizophrenia adds a whole new level to everything. People like that have a serious problem relating to other people, and a lot of times grasping reality. I understand that you love her, but with her mental conditions, and the fact that she has left you 4 times I would say it is a good idea to quit on the marriage. She is already destroying herself, and while I'm sure you want to help her, there is nothing you can do and staying with her will only destroy you as well. My boyfriend's mother is actually bipolar schizophrenic and she could not hold down any of her marriages and relationships. You have invested a lot of time and love in her, but at this point it is best to leave the marriage and take care of yourself and your life.

Answer 5

I think there's obviously more to your story and I know absolutely nothing (well, maybe a little bit) about bipolar schitophrenia, but this is how I see it. She's left you 4 times now.It's going to keep happening. She's not happy and it sounds like there's nothing you can do to make her happy. In my extremely humble opinion, perhaps it is time to move on.

Answer 6

If she's receiving treatment for her disorder? Is she diligent about taking her meds? If she's refusing to cooperate with her end of the care, then yes, it's foolish for you to continue in this relationship. You've more than proven that you would stick by her in good times and bad, sickness and health - but leaving you 4 times? Somewhere you have to draw the line and start taking care of yourself.

Answer 7

She is ill and needs her meds. Besides that, save yourself, or both of you will be on medication soon. You sound like you are on your way down emotionally. A mentally ill person often drags others down with her/him, and only a mental health provider could help that person. Get out and save yourself.

Answer 8

This is one of the saddest postings I've come across. It sounds to me like your wife is incapable of seeing the situation as it is. I'm sure it's tremendously difficult to accept that there's probably nothing more you can do to repair/continue in your marrige. I'm not sure what the best thing for your wife is, but I'm pretty sure that the best thing for you, at least long term, is to end it--the sooner, the better.

God bless you and good luck.

Answer 9

You sound like a pretty decent fellow;-} this isn't about you.
Your wife needs counselling & medication to help her cope.
You may need counselling of a supportive nature also.

Answer 10

first of all I understand more than you know.. does she go to therpy? does she take meds? has her dr. talked to the both of you to see what is in her mind? now before you break up for good. talk to her say we can not go on this way and tell her if she thinks it is truly over then it is time to go on for the two of you. usually then they want us back but move on would be healthy if it has to be. our life is so short the young years come and go so fast and the years we waste we can not get back.so do what has to be done once the decision is made move on but not into a relationship with someone else give your self time to heal . remember mental illness is not what we ask for it happens and the person who has it goes through hell also when you live inside the body of a chemical imbalance brain it is hell on earth and one feels alone as tho no one understands even if they do. so may god help you both findan answer that is best.be careful and safe.