My ex-girlfriend and I dated for almost two years then she found out she was pregnant with twins. Before they were born she's had some problems. They were born and not long after she started abusing prescription medicine again. As a result, I left and took the babies with me since she wasn't in a good way to take care of them and she already had a child from a previous marriage. Her mom helps take care of the other child and my parents help me with the twins. It's been two months since she's seen them (her choice, not mine) and I think I may finally have to take this to court. I'm terrified that the judge will just automatically side with the twins mom and they'll go back to her. I really love them and want to keep them safe. The mom says she's going through rehab now. Is there a precedent that dad's will get equal say now or are we just expected to lay down and give in, pay child support, and hope to see them every weekend or can I hope to keep custody of my children?
2007-07-18 17:02:48 · 7 answers · asked by tnstdel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not sure what the laws are in your state but I will tell you what I know. My ex and I went through a simliar situation with his daughter from a previous relationship. From my understanding judges dont always side with the mothers any more. They look at who is more stable as mentally and finacially.
First I would keep a detailed list of all contact made by the mother. I would also make a detailed record of known drug abuse and if the children was ever in her care while on drugs. Also any finacial contribution made by the mother during this period.
Hopefully you have a full time job and acceptable housing. Also you have your parents helping you out so that takes care of child care while at work or such.
Also I would file for temp. custody ASAP and contact a lawyer. Do not mess around and just hope, take action now.
BTW my ex got custody of his daughter hands down no problem. The reason was because we could provide a better and more stable home life for her. But we also got a snake of a lawyer and was willingly to fight. Though we did not have alot of money we were just willing to go through all the "tests" the court wanted us to go though.
In my opinion you are one heck of a guy, most would just walk away. Don't lay down you have just as good as chance if you were a women.
2007-07-18 17:19:47 · answer #1 · answered by KTVMomof1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off you WILL need an attorney. Your attorney should be able to get you custody if in court you can prove that she has had drug problems both before and after tha children's birth. Then there is the fact that her mom is having to help her with her first born. Meaning that she cant care for one without help, so how would she care for 3? So she has undergone rehab? Even if she came out of rehab totally off of the dope, it doesn't mean that there won't be a relapse later. Any decent judge would have to see proof of her abstinence. Meaning that in 6 months or maybe a year, she would have to pass multiple drug screens. (This is how it's done in my area) Your very best bet is to start the custody proceedings now. Things are still fresh in your head and she hasn't been off of the dope long. It would be a mistake for her to get these children. I have the feeling that the only reason that she would want them anyway is to collect child support from you. Beat her to the punch and get those children. Even if the woman never pays support, it's still better if you raise them. Just my opinion.
2007-07-19 01:22:23 · answer #2 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With everything that you have told us I highly doubt that there is a Judge out there that wouldn't give you custody of your twins especially since she has the kids farmed out all over the place. The fact that she was abusing prescription medicine while she was pregnant (let me guess Vicodin) doesn't help either. Rehab may be to late for her and gathered with the fact that she hasn't seen the kids in a couple of months shows the judge in your favor. Don't be afraid go for it honey i am sure that you will win. Good Luck
2007-07-19 00:15:28 · answer #3 · answered by Char A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not, men do have equal opportunities in court when filing for custody. Since you have had the twins for two months, taken good care of them, the mother his a habitual prescription drug abuser, and you are financially able, you have a great chance of gaining legal custody and her pay child support.
2007-07-19 00:10:01 · answer #4 · answered by LyndasCa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have filed the minute you had them. Since she has a history of drug abuse and because she abandoned the kids, you should retain custody. She may get visitation with them, but you can ask for it to be supervised.
No, the court will not automatically side with the mother, but you will need a good lawyer to help you.
2007-07-19 00:08:21 · answer #5 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The court will decide what is in the best interest of the children, NOT what you want. If their mother is indeed in rehab the court will take that into consideration. She has as much right to the custody of her children as you do, or did you gestate the pregnancy fullterm and give birth all by yourself after fertilizing the ovum?
2007-07-19 00:46:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer who is well versed in fighting for paternal rights. There are organizations that can recommend someone in your area, you need to google.
2007-07-19 00:08:04 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋