Currently my husband and I are separated, not living together still married. We have agreed to move back in when he can afford to get us an apartment. Right now I live with my dad. My husband will hand me $20 when I need something, but that is only when I need it. I asked him if he would give me $200 per month for both our son and me or I would file for child support. He got mad and told me if I filed he would kidnap our son. I don't know what to do, is there anyone that can give me some advice? should i just file for divorce and take my son or try to work on this? He and I had a long talk about that and he doesnt think its right that he should be supporting me. At the same time he doesnt want to sign divorce papers. Im a college student and dont work right now. any suggestions?
2007-07-18 15:34:13 · 15 answers · asked by h2gj87 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
DIVORCE HIM! File for child support. Contact a Family Law Attorney and find out what your options are. Even if he doesn't sign the divorce papers I believe there are laws that would still allow you do to so. May depend on the state that you're in. I say this from experience. I was married to someone just like you've described. It's not going to get any better, sorry to tell you. Especially if he's making threats like the one you mentioned about your child. You need to DOCUMENT EVERYTHING (times, dates, what was said) and include that when you talk to your Attorney. You may even need to look into a personal protection order. If nothing else, I would make a police report about what he's said about kidnapping your child. What this is really about for him, is control. He's controlling the money, and trying to control every aspect of your life. And he using your child as a tool to manipulate you. I'm not trying to be negative, but I like I said I've been through this, and have also helped other people who have been in similar situations. In terms of your being a student, I know finances can be an issue, and there are some resources that may be in your area for women. (Housing, Grants, Legal help, collecting child support, etc.) You can do this! You do not deserve to be treated this way, and your child deserves to be safe and happy. If you have any other questions, or need some suggestions please email me and I'd be happy to help get you through this.
Oh, I wanted to add that he SHOULD be supporting you while you're in school. He needs to step up and be a man, and take care of his responsibilities. You are not wrong. He is!
2007-07-18 15:51:20 · answer #1 · answered by MoonGoddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW how selfish of him!? If you really love him, always work it out, there is always a compromise! If it's too much and you want out, then he really has no choice BUT to sign the paper work, and trust me, kidnapping your son is just a threat! If he doesn't want to support the two of you now, why would he want to do it all by himself??? It amazes me he doesn't see past supporting you now for the greater good? When you graduate college and are making REAL money... it would have been a good investment on his part to support you!
Anyways 200.00 doesn't sound unreasonable, especially if its going towards your son, file for child support! Even if you don't actually go through with it, at least it would be a wake up call! Either give me the little bit Im asking for OR pay what the court says!!!! Good luck to you and your family!
2007-07-18 15:44:39 · answer #2 · answered by who_me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are considering reconciling with your husband, you can go ahead and file for child support for the in between time. This can usually be done through your state child support office at little or no cost. He should support your child and so should you. You are a student, but could have at least a part time job. If you got divorced you would have to get a job to support yourself and your child and not expect anyone to solely support you. As long as you are married he does have a responsibility to support you financially to a point. You need to consult with an attorney to learn your rights or do some very thorough searching on the internet regarding the laws in your state. Don't let him intimidate you with threats and don't play the threat game with him. Protect yourself and your child. I would really think about the reasons you are considering getting back with him, considering the treatment he is showing you and your child. Have the two of you considered marriage counseling?
2007-07-18 15:49:01 · answer #3 · answered by bigmom 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
go see a lawyer ASAP and file, if he refuses there is some legal way they can push it through (in michigan) then when he is ordered to pay child support and dosent they will put out a warrent then you know the rest. If he in any way says he will take your son again or if you think he actually would, get a P.P.O. As far as the cost, you can go to your local health services and work something out
2007-07-18 15:47:24 · answer #4 · answered by pinky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
divorce him. you do not to be supporting him. I can not believe he balk at $200 it should be $200 per week. What are you going to do with $20? that's a joke and a slap in the face. your dad is a saint for letting you live with him. Better roll model for your son.
2007-07-18 15:44:55 · answer #5 · answered by s f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Taker it to court. Get a divorce. Get child support mailed through the court system so the court will go after him when he misses/is late with payments. Tell the judge he has threatened to kidnap the baby!!!
2007-07-18 15:39:16 · answer #6 · answered by lollipop 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Any man who won't support his own kid because it's the right thing to do and because he loves the kid, isn't a man. He sounds very controlling and selfish. Unlikely he's going to be turned around either. The fact he said he doesn't think it's right" to support his own wife & kid tells you all you need to know about this immature jerk.
Kent in SD
2007-07-18 15:43:09 · answer #7 · answered by duckgrabber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a control issue to me... if he were so concerned about getting back together with you, he'd give you WHATEVER amount you need, since it would be to support HIS child... I'd contact a lawyer, the kidnapping comment sounds crazy, but goes back to my point of him being controlling... like he is trying to scare you to behave the way he wants you to behave...
2007-07-18 15:38:35 · answer #8 · answered by This is what I think 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get legal advice, if you can't afford it, go to legal aid. Your husband should be supporting his son, and kidnapping is a federal crime in this country.
2007-07-18 15:43:06 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, so he doesn't think he should be supporting you, but who the hell does he think should support HIS son?
Ridiculous. Threatening to kidnap his son...
CALL THE COPS.... Get legal advice.
This guy isn't just a jerk... he's either insane or
a criminal.
2007-07-18 15:40:33 · answer #10 · answered by Bentley 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋