Why are so many husbands like this?

Question

I am always reading questions on here from men who have problems with their wife's weight..They sound very shallow to me and must think their perfect..My husband and i have been happily married 16 yrs and i am full-figured and weigh about 270 but hubby met me this way,married me this way and it has never bothered him 1 bit cause he loves me more then anything...When we met i was over 200 and thru the yrs i have lost and gained and trying to lose again but for me NOT him..He is still very attracted to me and we have a decent satisfying sex life...Why cant these men just love their wives unconditionally?

Well tj i dont eat like a pig ok in fact im a lot heavier then hubby but he eats a lot more then i do..He is only about 25lbs overweight and wants to lose some too.

Jon im not a slob i do look nice for my husband.

Answer 1

My husband would never tell me i have weight problem and no matter how much i weigh he tells me i am the most beautiful women on the planet. I need to lose weight and i know that but it never came from him. I am losing weight and he supports me but he knows i will be a lot healthier if i do. Sounds like you have a man as wonderful as mine. Men who put down their wives don't deserve to be married.

Answer 2

Its not the weight, that's just an excuse. I believe that men and women who judge the people that they are supposed to love based on something superficial such as weight or losing their hair simply have such low self esteems themselves that they see it reflected in their partners "flaws". I don't believe these people understand what love is, and were probably never loved themselves when they should have been, and now they are stunted and wouldn't know love if it slapped them in the face.

However, I have to say that anything such as smoking, drinking or being overweight that not just limits your life but limits your enjoyment of it, is something to change for yourself.

I know what I'm talking about here, and you have to admit that the irritations under the folds of skin, the fluctuations in temperature, the uncomfortableness of sitting or laying down, even something as simple as not being able to trust every chair you sit down in, IS a problem. Lose alittle, you know it doesn't take much to be comfortable. And if your husband is eating the way you are, you are going to lose him. Men don't have the stamina that women do. Talk a walk every night, just the two of you, hold hands while you do it. Its a start, and you could get an extra year with him. I know he'd want that.

Answer 3

Unconditional love is a hard thing to find. You're a very lucky woman.

But, I wouldn't put the blame on all men. I've lost and gained weight since I was married and my husband has always been attracted to me, also. But, women are just as bad I think.

People are becoming very superficial. Everybody. I actually know someone who won't be friends with ugly people! lol. People care about $$ and looks and cars and none of the things that are important. I wish the world was different and everyone could be as happy as you are but, until people start appreciating honesty and integrity and looking on the inside it isn't going to happen. But, women are just as vain as men so go a little easier on them. lol.

Congratulations on 16 yrs, too! That's something to be proud of.

Answer 4

Karen, Now you know that MOST men are not like this. But I guess some are. Something else I'm sure that you are aware of is that there are women out there the same way. Are you telling me that you have never heard a woman complain about her husbands weight? The reason that you see only men writing about it on here and not women is because the women are too busy writing questions in here about why does my husband watch porn? Some men are self centered half minded jerks. I'm sure that you know that, as well as some women being just as dormant in other areas. Just relax and understand that it takes all kinds to spin this thing called life and if it weren't for the odd types, then we wouldn't have anything to talk about on Yahoo!

Answer 5

This is just a question of perception. Many husbands aren't like that. Your husband isn't the only one. I think most men are capable to love a person beyond the superficial. What you are talking about is a minority and you are reacting to an image of men that just isn't true.

Further, I will say that women are capable of acting in the same way. I constantly hear stories of from women that say that they wish their husbands would lose weight, or other various attributes about their physical being. However, women are able to say the words in a way that diverts the attention away from the fact that they are being superficial.

Answer 6

"Unconditional Love" is jargon. Its nearly a contradiction in terms like military intelligence.

Human beings are not equipped to give their hearts to ideas that they dont understand. To truly commit, and do it takes understanding. If the idea is the understanding of another person, to the degree that the understanding is false, the love is unreal.

Thats why people who love each other need to keep learning each other. As they grow and change their capacity to love each other continues to grow, becuase the reality based understanding grows. As people forget, and misunderstand, and grow apart the light of love dies out. Thats how human beings are wired.

We, as human beings, cant love in ignorance.

Those men are shallow, not because they love the outside, but because thats their dominant experience. As the outside changes the love becomes unreal, or of a memory. If they had loved the inside, no change to the outside could dim the love.

Answer 7

You were already heavy when he married you. In the case of those other men, their wives probably started out a lot thinner.

I know I'm less than perfect, I've gained weight too, and it's not that I don't love my wife, but my penis has a mind of its own...

Love and desire are not one and the same.

Answer 8

Sounds like you have a great guy!! I am also overweight and I've been happily married for 29 years! If a person loves you and I mean really and truly loves you for who you are and not for what you are, that's called love! Keep this guy he sounds wonderful and for all those guys who think otherwise(the ones who like the skinnies) tell them they can go to h***!

Answer 9

Sounds like these guys are pretty insecure in their own lives if they are worried about how much their female partner weighs. As long as you are in love with the person inside the shell the size of the shell shouldn't be of concern. Exterior beauty will fade in the most desirable of both sexes. But what is inside like our morals, values, beliefs and sense of humour will be with us all until they plant us after we've expired. So as far as them other guys going on about their women's weight I say the hell with them, and I wonder what they look like themselves and how their partner views them?

Answer 10

I am happy that you found a man such as your husband. I am also happy that i have yet to see any of the types of questions you mentioned posted, though i do not doubt they exist. I think having to read them would further depreciate my already dwindling view of humanity.