My brother has been with his girlfriend for 3 years and they are discussing marriage. My brother has never been that keen to get married as he thinks it's a bit old-fashioned and unnecessary. However, he desperately wants children and says if she needs marriage before they start a family, he will get married.
Last week, I met an old friend for the first time in 10 years. It turns out that she used to work beside (and be quite friendly with) my bruv's girl and remembers her having time off work 6 years ago for fertility investigations. She then went off sick to recover from the news that she was infertile and her relationship fell apart because of that. Her ex now has kids with someone else.
What should I do? I talked to my brother today and he was talking about how much he wants kids and how they will start trying for a baby straight after the wedding. Should I tell him what I have heard? Is his girl lying to him just because she wants to get married?
2007-07-18 15:11:26 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He has a right to know what you know and heard. But he won't thank you for telling him, at least not now. You could try the secondary approach... suggest to him she get tested before the marriage. But if this is that important, he needs to know what you know including who you heard it from so he can hear it first hand..
2007-07-18 15:14:01 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I definitely think he has a right to know and if she isn't fessing up, that is pretty tactless knowing how much your brother wants children. On the other hand, if you brother loves her, it shouldn't matter in general. There are other methods to having children, in vitro, adoption, etc.
I think I'd talk to the girlfriend and see what she has to say about what you were told. Perhaps there was a mix up or confusion about what was going on and the information is just flat out wrong. If she seems defensive or even admits that it is true, then you need to talk her into telling your brother herself. If she refuses, then I'd go to him yourelf. Just my opinion and it is a sticky situation. GL
2007-07-18 15:19:47 · answer #2 · answered by Elonna T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is just gossip-don't go there! You hadn't even seen this person in ten years-how do you know she's telling the truth? How do you know that she's not just passing on rumors she heard? If you say something to cause friction between your brother & his girlfriend, there may be Hard feelings between you all for a long, long time. Just believe that your brother is an adult and he can take care of his relationships himself!
2007-07-18 15:18:12 · answer #3 · answered by animalover 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This isn't a real question. Its OK for discussion in a woman's magazine but you just made it up.
Why not add that the girl he's going to marry had a baby before she became sterile, that she gave it away at the time and now she wants to get it back. She's only marrying your brother to show she can provide for it.
Also you could say that your brother is really besotted with a totally different girl who has rejected him and he's marrying someone he doesn't love just to hurt himself?
2007-07-18 19:09:52 · answer #4 · answered by Paul R 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ye you should tell him what this person told you and let him make up his own mind on what to do and then you'll have a clear conscience. It would be just plain wrong if you didn't tell him especially after him talking about having children it definitely sounds like this girl is trying to trap him. She must have been deeply hurt from the break up of her previous relationship.
2007-07-18 16:11:27 · answer #5 · answered by jr1984 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm usually all about keeping one's nose out of people's business, but this is absolutely a HUGE deal breaker. Talk to the girlfriend. Tell her what you heard. Guilt trip, manipulate, do what you have to do to get the truth out of her. Then, if it is true, INSIST that she confess to your brother or you will tell him yourself.
Please, do note, that this will not make you look good to either party when the truth comes out....but as time passes you will be forgiven.
2007-07-18 15:21:28 · answer #6 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she should be the one telling him not you...so have a quiet word with her and ask her if this rumour is true....if she says yes then tell her you'll give her a deadline to tell your bro because she may just be trapping him into marriage and not tell him about her infertility at all...it's only fair that he knows now before he takes the plunge...she should have been honest with him from the start and told him about it....so have a word with her and ask her, you will know if she is lying by the way she reacts....tell her that you will tell him if she doesn't
2007-07-18 15:19:10 · answer #7 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell but not like a brick through a window, be gentle and ask him to ask her. get them talking about it in front of you and bring up that girls' name, give the GF a knowing look to provoke her into opening up.
Good luck hun, but he definitely needs to know or his marriage will be based on a lie. Or you never know, they might have discussed it and opted for adopting!?
2007-07-18 18:29:56 · answer #8 · answered by SEJ71 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok ........ Here is exactly what I would do. Don't say anything to your brother first. But you need to pull this girl aside, and let her in on what you know and if what you heard is true then she has a right to tell your brother. You know the whole honesty thing..... Anyway let her know if she doesn't say something you will, but you wanted to give her a chance first as it is responsibility to do so.
2007-07-18 15:16:33 · answer #9 · answered by Clara C 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think I would confront the girlfriend first to find out if it is true. If it is true, she should be the one to tell your brother for the sake of their future. A marriage based on deception is doomed.
2007-07-18 15:16:51 · answer #10 · answered by Marley K 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋