3 years today. I wrote my husband a very sweet card last night and put it by his ring and watch so he would get it on his way out to work....tonight we had planned for dinner and shopping for our gifts together. So far I have no card, no flowers sent to me at work, and I don't think he has any surprise planned for later....don't ask me how I can tell - I just can.
Should I stop expecting too much? I wanted some romance. Our previous anniversary I made all the plans. The first one he was very romantic. What gives???
2007-07-18 15:04:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
With men you have to be VERY SPECIFIC! It took me a while to figure it out but I got it and it has made our relationship better. I would hint around about things all the time but I never got what I was hinting for. So one time we were watching tv and some guy gave his girlfriend flowers for no reason at all! So I told him that I would love it if he would do that for me and asked him if he would. He said yes but it will be a surprise and I would not be expecting it. It happened, he brought me a gorgeous bouquet of roses for no reason whatsoever! So unlike him and so so nice!
2007-07-18 15:24:22 · answer #1 · answered by Isabella's Mommy Expecting #2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel you....my husband lets me do ALL the planning and it really bothers me sometimes. I read your details to the question and immediately pictured my husband doing the exact same thing your husband is doing. Men are not particularly great at planning these romantic get-aways or surprises. They definitely don't think like us!
You should NOT stop expecting what you deserve. Talk this over with your husband....tell him what you need emotionally and what you need from him all around. Let him know how it makes you feel....I know I know....then it's like you told him to step up and do things for you that he might not have originally done....it's a catch 22. We want it and should get it and by telling the man, it's like we feel they didn't want to do it in the first place and are just doing it because we said to....you following me?
Oh dear.....I can't tell you what to do for this situation....but I will tell you that it can easily cause problems....learn how to fix them together so that you both turn out happy in the end. GOOD LUCK!!
2007-07-18 15:15:33 · answer #2 · answered by Lovin' Life As Mama & Wife 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the honey moon is over honey. And no, you aren't expecting too much, something...even an acknowledgement at this point would be nice...but nothing? That's just crummy. So wait until bed time, give him his gift and his card and he's going to feel like a total butthead. Guaranteed never to forget or put it off again. And here's why: Women, never forget anything. You have an entire year to remind him how he forgot the anniversary. Sure you may suffer this year, but the ones after that? Not a chance. He's not going to want to end up in the dog house.
2007-07-18 15:10:07 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, since you had made all the plans for the first two anniversaries, why do you think he would think that it was his turn? I think you need to be very specific in the future about what your expectations of your anniversary is. You might think that is a turn off, but if nothing at all happens, that is a disappointment, telling him what you want and having him do it is a nice evening.
2007-07-18 15:09:03 · answer #4 · answered by kattsmeow 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you planned it all last time, he may be expecting the same this time... if you want cards and flowers you have to let him know in advance, some people just don't naturally think that way.
2007-07-18 15:13:39 · answer #5 · answered by growing inside 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweets, its number 3! not 30! Guys don't get all mushy so if you are happily married, have a nice husband who helps you out or at least does the icky things around the house(killing spiders comes to mind) and makes you happy don't get caught up in some "ideal" of romance...enjoy what you got and pick out something you like for the gift...
2007-07-18 15:09:51 · answer #6 · answered by bikinibabewannabe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My bf needs subtlety like a brick through a window. You've agree to go shopping together for gifts so as far as your hubby is concerned that's all you wanted.
I think it's a bit late for this year - but just mention that it would be nice to received flowers at work for a special occasion. (if you just say "flowers at work" you'll end up with them next week).
2007-07-18 15:13:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dinner and shopping for gifts sounds like you have it all planned again. Or he will at least see it this way. My 5th anv. I had dinner with my husband and my father in law (we weren't able to drive due to injuries.) That was it. I didn't complain I just enjoyed it for what it is. Sometimes you have to take things for what they are.
2007-07-18 15:22:18 · answer #8 · answered by hopefultobe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are expecting something, tell him to get it. Don't just leave it to him to read your mind.
I was coming home from a long business trip, and I asked my husband to bring flowers. There's no shame in that.
If you want it, then stop holding a grudge and tell him!
2007-07-18 15:11:33 · answer #9 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are terrible about remembering aniverseries! (I think it's genetic; the "anniversary-forgetting" gene is on the Y chromasome, right next to the "won't stop and ask directions" gene).
I hope that he is pretending he has forgetten, and has a big surprise planned for you!
2007-07-18 15:15:15 · answer #10 · answered by Flying Dragon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋