Can we walk ever so quietly,
light footed on the lonely mudbricks?
The night is young our clothes just right;
you in all lace and I in a velvet hush.
My heart is restless and the skyis so blue...
Can we walk these slow paces just me and you?
2007-07-18 14:53:35 · 4 answers · asked by meredith 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
I like it! Makes me think of asking a possibly estranged partner to walk down memory lane and try to find the part that was so right.
I agree with the other person about the sky being so blue- in the evening. How about "and the sky is embracing night" or "the sky is softening it's grasp on day". Just some thoughts!
Keep up the good work.
2007-07-18 15:57:44 · answer #1 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really like that one, its very romantic and peaceful, loving, and quietly passionate, not intense. except how is the sky so blue if its nighttime? thats the only conflicting image i get but i really like it.
2007-07-18 21:59:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm I think yuck. another horny guy/gal humping my leg. Sorry you asked? Nope dosen't turn my crank. But I think I lost my mojo so don't worry about my opinion.
But it seems like a nice effort.
2007-07-18 22:00:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hehehe I love this poem! Its so peaceful and calming. Great, but unoriginal. Nothing special about this peaceful, love poem.
2007-07-18 23:34:07 · answer #4 · answered by Nana ♥ ღ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋