Ok so I have been told I am less then sympathetic towards others when in a argument,?

Question

I tend to be so emotional and tend to focus only on how I feel. Any ideas on how to change my behavior or how not to take things so personal?

Answer 1

What I've learned in the past is that there are reasons people remain selfish or extremely egotistical beyond what is an acceptable age. If you are truly sincere about changing then keep in mind that you are what you are and the change is going to be long and hard due to the fact that you are so rooted in your character and old ways. It is not at all impossible to change -just hard. Give yourself this time and in the meantime practice on learning to sincerely apologize and practice on thinking about others and their points of view before you speak because things aren't always the way things seem. Go over your progress and record it in a journal each week and within time if you stick to it... others will let you know by acknowledging your progress and you are sure to have a much better social life...guaranteed. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Are "others" your husband? If so, go to the library and rent a book on communication in marriage. Do all the exercises.

#1. Never wait until you're mad to complain. As soon as you notice a problem that will become an issue, raise it. You'll be calm and can think clearly.

Mostly I don't see why you'd need to argue. Are you trying to win something? When your husband, the person you love most in the world, loses; your relationship suffers because one of you is suffering (Yes, the same applies if you lose.) Try thinking of him as your partner in fixing the things in your environment to be the way that will make you both happy. That may mean never seeing his mother again or moving to Las Vegas or giving up meat, but those are not things to argue about. They are decisions to be made about what's best for your relationship.

To not take things "so personal," try remembering that you are not the center of the universe and that people (husbands) have needs, wants and angers that have nothing to do with you. You're not responsible for his every moment of happiness or moment of despair.

Answer 3

Do some volunteer work and see how others less fortunate than you have to deal with life. Get some counseling and work on getting rid of your insecurities. Everything isn't about you and you have to learn how to see that.

Answer 4

don't respond to the emotion right away. stop, breathe and release. put yourself in their shoes. take yourself out of your circumstance and look at it from a different angle.

i will say it is something you can handle better as you get older and more understanding.