I'm engaged and have been having alot of issues with my fiance. perhaps i'm just hormonal, but i'm beginning to feel like i'd just rather be by myself. Everyone says we should get married because we're having a child--is this really how it is supposed to be?
2007-07-18 12:47:14 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
"just" because you're having a baby? Wow, pretty dismissive of children. You're supposed to not get pregnant until you're married. But you blew that so grow up, get married or give the baby up for adoption if you're not willing to give the child a normal home.
2007-07-18 12:55:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO. You shouldn't get married JUST because you are having a baby together. You can share your child even if you are not married. Why don't you go to pre-marital counseling! You might be hormonal but you might also have some real issues that you do not want to bring into a marriage. My advice is to insist on the counseling and put off the wedding until you are both sure you WANT to be married to each other. Live together for a while!
2007-07-18 12:55:14 · answer #2 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont get married because your pregnant its gonna get even harder when a child comes into the picture. There are two many couples in this world that have done the same thing your about to do. Those couples think that it would be best so the child has the two parents together. What the parents forget is that the child can sense that those parents dont love each other. Wouldnt you rather put your child in an environment with two "Loving" Parents not two parents that are gonna fight all the time. Seriously think this through! Remeber what you do now will reflect on your childs decesions in the future and on there life also. Good Luck!
2007-07-18 12:54:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've had two kids that married because of pregnancies. My son's marriage lasted a little over a year. The girl he married was not mature enough to handle money and responsibility. She left and had my son in debt. I wish I had not recommended they marry. My daughter got married because of a baby on the way too. So far the marriage has lasted over a year and all is well. I think that the difference is in the maturity of the couple and how much responsibility each person has had and how committed they are to making the marriage work.
2007-07-18 13:06:37 · answer #4 · answered by LAWWOMAN 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know i am often told that i am old fashioned, but if you are not sure that you and your fiance/boyfriend or what ever can be happy and love each other forever, then believe me it will end and the strain and stress caused by trying to make it work when it wouldn't will just make it end ugly, and the kid will see it and have to live split between 2 parents that will end up hating each other, the best thing to do is thoroughly discuss it, and if you are not sure, then arrange to be good friends, and work together to make a better non-married relationship that will benefit your child in the future.
2007-07-18 12:59:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER! You should absolutely not be joined in marriage just because of a child. Your child will have both parents regardless of marriage.
You need to think about the reasons you are having second thoughts about the marriage. Do you love him, do you see yourself old with him, do you see yourself doing all things with him,? Can you live without him? These things should be reasons to marry.
You two can always reconcile to make a respectful friendship enough for your child. That is the main thing is being adult like for your child, because the way you treat each other will affect that child strongly!
2007-07-18 12:57:24 · answer #6 · answered by Abby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually no. It's supposed to be a boyfriend/girlfriend first, a engaged couple second, a husband/wife third, and a child fourth.
I highly do not recommend marriage just because you are pregnant. I do feel for the child though, because he or she deserves to have both a mother and a father. However, if you are not in love with him, it will only hurt all of you in the long run.
I would continue to keep a relationship with the father, because the child deserves a father. The child did not ask to come into this world, but between you and your guy, you conceived and allowed a child to come into this world.
2007-07-18 12:52:05 · answer #7 · answered by kicking4jc 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
WAIT!!!! Til about 4 months after your baby, you have a hard road ahead of you both, a baby will either make u or break u they arent easy.
Your emotions are probably all over the place at the moment. My husband and I got married 5 days BEFORE I had our baby but we got married because we loved each other (plus I figured if he could put up with my pregnancy Ultra Bit*hiness he would love me forever lol) not for just the baby.
2007-07-18 12:52:12 · answer #8 · answered by Lucky Mummy to 2!!! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you two should not get married primarily for the baby. You will end up fighting about the child and putting this child in the middle of your battles. This will lead to resentment on both of your parts. Best thing is to picture your future....don't settle...and pick the path where you believe you will be most happy. Good luck to you!
2007-07-18 15:19:44 · answer #9 · answered by Lovin' Life As Mama & Wife 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it was how it was suppose to be then you would have gotten married first then the child but in this day an age a single parent is not a bad thing don't let others push you into an unhappy marriage that would not benefit the child in any way. voice your true feelings be heard before it's to late.you can be just as good parents to your child if your not married.
2007-07-18 12:58:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋