Would you buy and learn to use a gun if lawyer suggested it?

Question

Consulted with divorce attorney today. She is the lawyer that my sister used and also a coworker used her.

Lawyer says that MI law prohibits a person from purchasing a gun if they have a restraining order (personal protection order) against someone.

After hearing my story, she thinks it'll be wise for me to buy a gun BEFORE filing for divorce. This way, if he goes psycho on me, I'll be able to protect myself. My husband already has a CCW license and carries a gun everywhere with him.

I'm suddenly really afraid. Reality is setting in and I'm realizing that this could be a life or death situation. It's been many years, but he has gone psycho on me before.

I've always been afraid of guns and never want to be near them. Guns and high emotions just don't mix.

I have a teenager and a toddler in my home.

Would you get a gun and file for divorce? Or chicken out and continue to live unhappily?

Please don't suggest counseling, it takes two to make it work.

Answer 1

Really Really bad idea.

You havent been trained on how to use a gun or how to act in a stressful situation.

If you pull out a gun to threaten him and he is carrying a gun, he just might shoot you without hesitation. He might not realize you are just threatening.

Or he could take the gun away from you and...

or your teenager could find it and ....

I dont know him or you but there has to be better options.

Answer 2

I agree with Private P. I own and carry a gun in Michigan. You shouldn't own or carry a gun unless you know what you are doing. Take a class on gun safety and then make up your mind. If you are afraid of guns, you will not use it correctly. With kids in the house you have to be very careful and safe. Emotionally, you don't seem reliable. Ask for a second opinion from another lawyer. I don't know of any law in MI that says you can't own a gun if you have filed a restraining order. If you have a restraining order AGAINST you, you can not get one. Let the police know that your husband has a ccw and he is dangerous. Maybe they can do something about it. Good luck.

Answer 3

I don't think buying a gun is the answer to your problem. I would strongly suggest if you are truly afraid of your husband that you have the attorney file a restraining order for you. Have a security system installed and if possible get a large dog. Guns can be dangerous when you have kids in the house, and if your not comfortable with the gun its pointless. If you are friendly with your neighbors, let them know to keep an eye out for your husband to. If you do file a restraining order keep it on your person at all times, in case you have to call the police.

Answer 4

Don't buy a gun just because MI law will or will not accept it. Also, realize that if you use a gun, it may be turned on you. Your chance of talking someone else out of a gun and a bad situation is better if there is not another gun involved. Think of your children. The restraining order should work well enough. If you have any suspicion of him abusing the order, then call the police.

Answer 5

If you are uncomfortable with guns and have children living in your home, I think it is not the best course of action. Your lawyer was right in suggesting that *if* you want a gun, you should buy it now. However, that doesn't make it the right decision for everyone. I am not a gunowner but I do have guns in my home (long story) so I think I have a fairly balanced view on the issue. A gun would be excellent protection for you and your children but only if you are willing and able to use it if needed. If you are uncomfortable, the gun will likely be out of reach in an emergency and you may fumble with it from lack of practice if it is handy. I would go through with the divorce but move you and your children to a safe place before your husband finds out.

Answer 6

Owning a gun is a very big responsibility. If it is for your protection, by all means, buy a suitable piece and learn how to use it properly and accurately. But protection does not mean pulling out your gun at the slightest provocation. Do not be confrontational. You may end up shooting it out with your husband and both of you may get hurt or killed. Whatever it is, the decision to own a gun is still yours to make. If it will boost your confidence and act as a deterrent to your husband I guess you may consider getting one. But talk to a police officer first and get his advice on the legal aspects of owning a gun. Tell your husband you are buying one. Then get that divorce.

Answer 7

Thats so tough because women do die in domestic violence situations. I wouldnt be buying a gun though because if he did go psycho, he could turn it on you and the kids. What I would be doing is secretly working out a way to leave......far away. Make a few phonecalls....maybe to a domestic violence shelter and ask for their advice. If you fear for your's or your kids lives then dont ask for a divorce because you could end up a statistic. Have a plan of action and if he is as dangerous as you are inferring, then you need to find alternate accommodation a long way away from him. You have to do this secretly, and when you do get away from him, get a restraining order out, then go through the process of getting a divorce. Yours and your kids safety is paramount. Whatever he does, go to the Police so they have a record of what he does......but tell them you dont want them to question him. Be sure of who you can trust first, that is why I suggested a domestic violence counsellor. She will understand exactly how you are feeling.....and probably will show you a way out.......a safe way out that is.

Answer 8

I'd buy the gun, I was in a relationship like that, and things don't get better they get worse. Take a class,and get certified to carry a weapon. Keep your gun locked up at all times when the kids are awake, but when you go to bed at night make sure it is handy. If you can I would stay some where else until the divorce is final. I realize that's easier said then done, but don't take any chances for your childrens sake.

Answer 9

I don't know about getting a gun right now because you have two kids and you might wanna find a safe place for the gun if you do decide to get one. And I you feel that you need to get out the marriage why not just do it without you or him having a grudge against one another. Because by you and him ending it on bad terms could cause problems in the future.

Answer 10

If a divorce attorney has sufficient info from you that makes her suggest you need protection, then buying a gun and taking a course to properly use and store it would be advantageous. There were guns in my house ever since I was little but we were not allowed to be near them and back then no one was locking them up. We were taught about guns. There would be no harm in protecting yourself and you can lock the gun up with a key that is easily accessible to you should you need it. I recognize that guns and emotions can be a volatile situation but if you learn the proper way to use it and feel comfortable handling it, I think you will be able to use it responsibly. But if this is totally outside of your comfort zone, please consider something in its place that could do harm should your husband come into your home with a weapon.

Answer 11

I own a gun, and have a concealed carry license, and am happily married to my gun-toting hubby. Has nothing to do with a lawyer.

I would say, get a divorce, get a restraining order, and that you sound way too emotionally unbalanced to handle a firearm.

PS: ALL Americans have the right to gun ownership provided they are mentally stable and are not a criminal, and are basically responsible (in control of one's self) You do not have to be a victim of some kind to qualify.