Do men generally get screwed when it comes to child support payments?

Question

I guess what I am getting at is this: I understand there are alot of deadbeat dads out there and they deserve to make payments, but it seems to me that there is a double standard.

Case in point. I know someone who had two kids. His wife was out screwing other guys while he was out working supporting his family. She eventualy wanted a divorce, took the kids, found a sugar daddy and married again, yet this poor guy still had to pay out of his a$$.

How does that make sense??

Do the laws need to be reviewed? This isn't 1950 when women do not work. I hear so many horror stories of guys who get screwed out of their life when they did nothing wrong at all.

Answer 1

YES YES YES YES YES YES and YES.

the laws are horribly out of whack and unbalanced. the government recognizes and admits to that and will do absolutely nothing to change it or alter it. they call it a necessary evil. if someone is not paying for the child, then society does. better to punish one poor slob than everyone else. also, women groups have powerful lobbies.
you get caught into the CS web, you will never get out of it.
in some states, if you live with a single mother for a period of time and never marry her or adopt her child as yours, she can ,and with some success, sue you for support.
it is almost common knowledge that men get it hard when it comes to support and there is no gray area. the state does not care if you cannot afford to pay the amount they used chicken bones to come up with, you pay it or your a deadbeat. that word may as well be "rapist" because it carries the same dark evil image.
and here is the magic of it all, you alluded to it in your question...you have to pay support and she can shack up with donald trump, and you STILL have to pay. and since she will probably not be working, you will have your payments go up! until he decides to adopt the child(ren) you are SOL. and even if he does decide, the courts can still make you pay.

the ladies will probably say "you play, you pay" without understanding that THEY have the right to terminate a pregnancy or go for adoption. the man, he has no such rights except to hand over the money.

prepare to get skewered with this question. good luck

Answer 2

No. Generally men don't get screwed when it comes to child support payments.

Child support calculations are based the parent's salary AND the amount of time spent with either parent. Generally, a higher percentage of custody is awarded to the mother, relegating the Father to a weekend visitor. Thats why most Fathers pay more child support than mothers.

Family court judges don't care about moral issues. It is of no concern to them that the mother screwed around and created the situation that the kids are in.

I agree 1,000% that the system needs to change. The more men become aware of their rights as Fathers and began to advocate for them, you will see fewer examples like your friend.

Answer 3

So who do you think should support these children? The new husband? The state?

Sorry, but he helped make 'em, he has to help support 'em.

If the marriage was still together, he would be paying a lot more, and his wife would still be cheating maybe.

The marriage broke up, but the kids are still there. He needs to do right by them so that when he's an old man they'll respect and care for him, as he did for them when they were young. Don't ever think for a minute that kids don't know this stuff ... they know!!!

I can understand the guy is hurt by his wife's behaviour, who wouldn't be. But the kids were not part of that. He's got a beef with the ex, OK, but the kids need him to do what's right by THEM.

Good luck and best wishes :-)

Answer 4

Any guy that thinks they are getting screwed by a child support order really hasn't got a clue about how expensive it is to raise a child. Clothes, shoes, (and kids out grow shoes and clothes really fast), shelter, food, medical and dental care, school field trips, school supplies, summer camp, daycare, swimming lessons, music lessons-- you get the idea. They are still the guy's kids; he made 'em, he needs to chip in to support them in the style they were accustomed to before the divorce. Believe me, there won't be any money "left over" for his ex to spend on herself at the end of the month. Judges are aware of all this, and base the award on realistic expenses. Tell your friend to keep it in his pants; that way, he won't have to pay "unfair" child support for even MORE kids!

Answer 5

It does depend on the state but i won full custody of my three children from my ex wife and the way the payment are made is depending on BOTH partys income.Thats how they make the payments.If they are unfair to you and you know that she has remarried then you car request for a change of staus on payments.Sometimes people get demoted or lose work and you cant make payments that you cant afford.

Answer 6

It sounds strange because once a woman remarries she must report and claim that income to the friend of the court. And I am a single mom of two boys with a dead beat dad. But honestly, has she been reporting her extra income since the marriage???? That does come into play with the courts. Not that he is off scott free, but it should have reduced his payments depending on his income. There should have been a review meeting at the court house. Have your friend look into it.......

Answer 7

sure do!! i'm a mom who hasn't gotten child support in years and i don't want it. i'd rather struggle than deal with the drama that comes with a few dollars. my current boyfriend pays through the nose also, so we end up feeling the $ pressure. he loves my daughter as if his own. when she ask for something special, like for her b-day or christmas and we know we don't have the money, it breaks his heart. i don't think it's fair that you have to struggle finacially 10-12 years later in life for a relationship that didn't work out. it doesn't take $700+ every month to care for a kid. when adults can't agree and be responsible, the price to pay is having someone else make up the rules for you and a penalty for not following them. sucks, i know but that the way it is.

Answer 8

"if" he had "taken" the kids she would have to get a job and pay child support. my ex husband kept custody of our son and turned down child support-- the judge said that would be unlawful-- all children have a right to be SUPPORTED by both parents
everyone seems to forget this is about tne children

if the ex would have fallen in love with an invalid on social security would he still feel his kids should do without?

Answer 9

You seem to have this thing mixed up. It doesn't matter how much the wife makes or who she screws, or for that matter how much the person makes that she marries. It is the responsibility of the absent parent to pay a percentage of whatever he or she makes to support the child. If people don't want to support their children they should think about that before they have them.

Answer 10

Yes! I am female and will tell you that yes, men will get screwed every single time. I am all for split custody, no matter what (Unless one of the parents is abusive of course) with no child support from either. Each one pays their share and split the medical insurance and costs. Yes, the laws need to be revised. Men don't deserve to pay out the butt to support kids when the mother sits on her behind and rakes it in. If the man remarries, the laws do not take into consideration that he has now 2 families to support, while the mother is allowed to remarry and collect 3 or 4 incomes!! There is no justice in the US for this anymore. It's ridiculous! Advise your friend to hire a monster of a lawyer, and take her butt back to court every single chance he gets for a reduction! Make her life a living hell before she has a chance to do it to him and believe me, she will do it!! Best of luck to your friend.