What can i do to make our relationship better......?

Question

I have been talking to my fiance lately and he has said he wants some more space, but the thing is we only spend quality time together for a few hours an evening 6 days a week. We never see each other of a lunch time no more or in the mornings. But he says he wants more space but i dont understand how much space does he need all of my friends spend more time with their b/f than i do my fiance and unlike my friends me an my fiance do live together.

I also need him right now as i am panicking and worried about my job as my contract with my current employer ends in 3 weeks and i still haven't managed to find a job, so i do need his support but all of a sudden he is detaching himself saying he wants to be more independant than he already is and more space. And now i cant help but cry as i have no one whos cares bout hows bad i am feeling right now, I tried to speak to my older sister an all she said "sad to hear that sweet" an thats it. Can someone help with this as i do need him now

more than ever. Please someone help me to find a way of getting him to their for me atleast till i find a new job.

Please keep in mind we have a flat an with me not having a job we will be able to pay the bills but food will be very low each month. Please help.

We never see each other as we both work an my family are usless an arn't bothered, he i work 6 days a week which doesn't help us at all.

We see each other for one day every 3 weeks, which is not good and then just little bits here an their.

we are due to get married in 7 months too, problem is my friends are to busy having baby at the moment.

Answer 1

I think he's right--you both need some space.

Why should you HAVE to see him as much as possible? I understand that he is your support, but he shouldn't be your ONLY support.

It sounds like right now you both nee to find other hobbies as well. Spending TOO much time together is a relationship killer, regardless of whether you want to admit it or not.

Answer 2

It could be that he didn't realise living together could be stressful, is he ready to be a fiance is he ready to get married.. it doesn't look like it. Another thing maybe he might distancing himself from you, so you try harder to look for a job. If he wants his independence then why don't you go out with your friends, go to the gym, keep yourself occupied, and he will be complaining that you are not spending so much time with him, he knows that you are waiting for him, and maybe he finds it stressfull, the best bet is go out there and do something different. He isn't going anywhere he still will be coming home.. I think give him some breathing space, and if you feel you can't talk to him then text him that you need to talk.. Sometimes men can be very ignorant. Good luck

Answer 3

Don't worry, he is probably needing space because you are feeling a bit clingy towards him and he is not in the mood to listen to this particular problem just now.

It doesn't mean he doesn't care, it probably means you maybe need to talk about other things other than your job cos he's getting a bit bored of you talking about all the time.

But saying that, it also sounds like he has a problem too that you may need to ask him about. Why does he actually need the space instead of sympathising with you? He could change the conversations too.

You need to get a hold of him and try to talk to him about what's really bothering him and if needs be, give him the space temporally, but not to much because you two are engaged. This 'needing space' is gonna cause problems if you two are married and he still feels stuck!!

Good luck, go grab him and make him talk!!

Answer 4

You have a kid for a fiance. He must not know what a man is suppost to do. By the way you are not helping him grow up either because you let yourself be used and know he is going to have to support you till you get a job. It's not free any more so he might fell he can do what he want's. Move on sound like he will break you heart don't you through more pain. God Bless find yourself a good christian man that is devoted to God first then you he will value you. Plus don't move in with any more boyfriends only when you get married it's troble.

Answer 5

I agree that he shouldn';t be your only support but I don't agree with his behavior. Has anything happened recently to make him want more space. Any family issues on his side? Argument? Have you tried sitting down and asking him why exactly he needs this space from you?....The least he can do is give you an explanation for his change in behavior. Meanwhile , you should take this time and find things you enjoy to occupy your time. Good luck on the job search as well

Answer 6

I think that you should know that this is the first sign that there is another woman in the picture and I think that you are a paycheck with two legs to him . I have not had a job in over a year and my husband woulld not even think about divorcing me . and the same with me for him . cause if it is a true relationship you take care of each other . I think maybe you need to find someone else this guy sounds like he cares for you as much as your paycheck is written out to . good luck .

Answer 7

Quote him this song: "If you want space, move to Utah. If you want time, well you've got the next 50 years. But if you want love, hey, look no further than the woman who's looking at you here."

Seriously, ask him what "space" means. Try to figure out, together, what specifically it is that he wants. Talk about whether what he wants works within the framework of the relationship you need to have together. Tell him what you need. Don't allow him to use generic, meaningless words like "space" or "independence." Tell him that you honestly don't understand what he wants, but that you two need to figure out together what your relationship means and how both of your goals and desires work within that relationship.

Answer 8

you need to concentrated on you ability to be indepent and stand up for your self. maybe he is feeling trapped due your insecurity. take it one step at a time.