do you think its offensive to call a younger woman mam instead of miss?

Question

at a resturant i called our 20s something waittress mam and she said do i look that old? miss would be nice then i thought maybe its offensive to call young females mam?

Answer 1

Yes its offensive. Mam is what you call older women. Miss is better

Answer 2

It's not improper, really...in fact it show a good measure of respect for the waitress. However, those of us who grew up from about 1960 and later (that would include me, born 1956) were raised in a time where the titles "sir" and "ma'am" were used a lot less than in earlier times. Since we weren't as used to using those terms, a lot of us aren't real comfortable when others use them when addressing us.

I know I'm still a bit uneasy being called "sir." Not so much when I'm shopping or eating out, since cashiers, store clerks, waiters, etc. often call everyone "sir." But in everyday situations I'm still not used to being a "sir." Example---at the local mall the other day, a 20-something young lady pushing a stroller stopped and asked me where a particular store was. After I told her, she responded, "Thank you so much, sir." I had to resist the urge to tell her, "Hey, knock off the 'sir' stuff...I'm not a sir."

Since politeness toward a waitress is something to shoot for always, let me offer this advice....always use "miss." Some younger waitresses might bristle at being called "ma'am," but a lot more middle age and older servers will be flattered with "miss."

Am I babbling? Yeah, seemed like it to me to....just having a senior moment, y'know? Good luck.

Answer 3

not offensive but it does make women feel old. It is a polite but when talking with a young lady miss would be better. Just so you wont make her feel too old LOL. i hate being called mam just bc it makes me feel old but its not offensive. IT is very polite. so i do not say anything when people say it to me. I know that is the way there were raised up. In the south that is very comon for someone to say mam and if you do not you are considered rude. Learned that fast. I did not call someone mam i said yes bc where i was from YES was polite and YA was impolite when someone said susy come here you say yes i am comming but here int he south you say YES MAM i am comming. so anyway that is why i dont like it but it is polite not offensive to say mam

Answer 4

Some women take offense to it because Ma'am is used when referring to an older woman. I don't take offense to it, but it does make me feel old. But it goes the other way around too. Some women don't like to be called Miss because it makes them feel too young. It's hard to know what to use sometimes. I think that waitress just has a stick up her butt.

Answer 5

it is offensive. even an older person likes to b called miss not mam

Answer 6

I don't think it is offensive. It's just the younger generation doesn't know how to take manners. I think miss sounds rude a lot of time. I would continue to use ma'am. She probably just doesn't how to accept the fact that she is growing older :)

Answer 7

Well I don't know about "offensive" - I mean its not like you called her a b*tch or something. But yeah, Ma'm is actually short for madam which implies an older woman. Misses or Mrs. implies a married woman. And Miss is reserved for a younger unmarried woman.

Answer 8

this is only a term to apply once you do not understand the guy's call. this is not disrespectful, even inspite of the indisputable fact that many youthful human beings sense that it particularly is a term for older women. i'm 23, and that i've got been called ma'am too. this is greater well mannered than saying "good day, you."

Answer 9

I don't care but I know that some people do which is strange to me. Try calling an older women Miss and see what happens

Answer 10

I think its a very high sign of respect to be called ma'am its the shortened for Madam in France.