i was in a casual relationship with a guy for a while until he unexpectedly ended it but came back a few months later to pick up where we left off. later on i found out that he had a 4-5 month old son after i saw baby toys lying around which shocked me because i had never seen evidence of a baby, or any female presence, in his apt before. however, we did spend that time apart and have never been exclusive so anything couldve happen, but i ended up staying with him. he loves being a dad and even got a bigger apartment for his son to have his own room with lots of toys and pictures of them everywhere. his son is almost 2 now and we've been casual for about five years. he's in his 30's, lives alone, and has shown me that he doesnt want us to end even when i've tried to leave. he supposedly remains just friends with the mom for his son's sake and when i'm around its all about just me and him. he's looking for a house now but we're still not exclusive and i wonder if we'll ever be more???
2007-07-18 11:00:06 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Men's Health
You asked basically the same question five months ago, and I stand by the answer I gave then:
Sorry, Honey, but he's using you. You are a sexual convenience for him, and that's all he wants. Get a real boyfriend who isn't ashamed to be seen in public with you! You can do better than this user.
Just think about it--he got some other woman pregnant a couple of years into his relationship with you and didn't even tell you about the child until the kid was several months old. That's not the way a man treats a woman he intends to settle down with. You don't need to "talk to him." Actions speak louder than words, and his actions are screaming at you that all he wants from you is a place to stick his hard-on. Have some respect for yourself and dump the loser ASAP.
2007-07-18 11:33:03 · answer #1 · answered by Maple 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ohhhhhhh god---you need to ask him honey---nobody here can tell you that---but if he hasn't comitted to you yet---and still wants to stay casual---don't let him string you along...does he see other people??? do you??? if not you have every right!! dont' sit around waiting for him to tell YOU he wants a relationship---tell him what you want before you waste any more of your life...and if he says no he doesn't want a relationship---then tell him that you would like a relationship and you're more than ready to have one---and that if thats not what he wants, then you're going to have to see other people.
Yep we're all right in here "why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free" and I stand by that one---a few guys I've been intimate with before we were exclusive NEVER wanted to be exclusive---however---the ones i was not intimate with--stuck around a lot longer and ended up wanting a relationship---it didn't always happen that way of course---but the majority of the time it did---good luck!!! and know your worth!!! listen to alicia key's song "a womans worth" a few times!!
love yourself and know what you're worth!!!
Wanna please
Wanna keep
Wanna treat your woman right
Not just told
But it's showed
That you know she is worth your time
You will lose
If you choose
To refuse
To put her first
She will
and she can
Find a man who knows her worth
2007-07-18 18:04:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It will take time when a child is involved. He has to be sure that you are right for him and his son and can handle having to deal with his ex on occasion. Give him the space he needs for a while and take it slowly with him. If things are not going fast enough for you, try talking to him about it and see where it goes from there.
2007-07-18 18:06:52 · answer #3 · answered by Angelic Valentine 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this is what you want then you need to sit down with him and explain how you feel, nothing will happen if you both just let things go as they are, he seams content with the situation and probably assumes you do as well.
2007-07-18 18:08:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no motivation for things to change. He's got it exactly the way he wants it. If this isn't meeting your needs, you need to speak up or end it.
2007-07-18 18:44:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me he's not ready for the big M or maybe he's affraid of committment
2007-07-18 18:08:46 · answer #6 · answered by paul b 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't ask us ask him ,he is the only one that can answer your questions.
2007-07-18 18:55:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to take you you or leave.
2007-07-18 18:04:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋