Well im 14 and my boyfriend connor is 16 well he will be 17 soon and he said that he wants to start having sex with me he said that it wont hurt at all but im still a virgin i dont know what to do . he is so sweet to me he never cheats on me he does not even stare at other gurls but i dont know if i should give up my virginity to him i have been going out with him for 2 years now. And i told him that i dont want to get pregnate and he said well there r other ways and then he said "how about we do anal' i asked hm what that was he told me and i said that will hurt and he said no it wont and for me to trust him i really want to but i am one of 2 gurls out of all my friends that is still a virgin.maybe i should have anal sex with him i wont get pregnate and no one will ever find out.should i ...
2007-07-18 09:00:44 · 61 answers · asked by ♥♥Christi♥♥ 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
no honey,dont ,you are obviously not ready,if he loves you he will wait untill you are,as for the anal suggestion, dont let him ,you are young and it could end up causing you damage,if you end up in hospital and have to tell someone how it happened how embarrased would you be then.i know a girl who did get pregnant doing it that way,sounds daft but it can leak,you think of you ,if you are not ready for sex then dont do it
2007-07-18 09:08:49 · answer #1 · answered by lisa m 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Don't believer be sex is not worth it. Its not as great as everyone makes out. You will be disappointed afterward. And trust me you two wont be together forever. Especially if he is already pushing to do thing you are comfortable with yet. By the way, how the hell does he know if it will hurt or not? He is not a female with a vagina. He has no idea how it feels and yes hun it does hurt. Also if you are the only one of two girls that hasn't done it good for you cause if they are 14 and already having sex they I hate ot bag on your friends but they will be known as sluts from now on. Sorry to be so blunt but its the truth. Have more respect for yourself than that please. I lost mine at 16 just cause I wanted to be like my friends and had been dating this guy for a year and boy do I regret it. I am in a commited relationship now and hoping to be married soon and I wish more than ever that I had waited til I met this guy to have sex cause I wish I could have shared that experience with him but I ruined that along time ago on a prick and never amounted to anything and treated me like crap. Just think long and hard about what you are doing. And if your man can respect the fact that you may want to wait then he's a doosh bag who isn't worth it anyway.
2007-07-18 09:14:49 · answer #2 · answered by dawggurl47 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No. He may think he is ready but it doesn't sound like you are. He is older but is not a girl so he does not know how it would feel. Do not have sex until you are ready. It will hurt. Getting pregnant is only one of the things you need to worry about, there's lots more. Be careful. Go to your parents, counselor, or a place that can give you real sex education and not just what he wants you to think. No matter how much you love and trust each other you won't be sorry for waiting. Also don't worry about what your friends say they are doing or not doing. You need to think about what is right for YOU.
2007-07-18 09:29:50 · answer #3 · answered by goddesstin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, kudos to you for thinking about it rather than jumping in with no thought. I'm going to be really honest and straightforward with you and I really hope you'll take this to heart.
No matter how mature you are, sex is not something for a 14 year-old. It is a huge commitment and one that she be kept for the love of your life. The chances of him being your husband are about .00000000001 % in all honesty. If he truly loved you or cared about you, he would not pressure you into something like this. To be honest, the fact that he likes anal sex really worries me that he is bisexual. The risk of him having diseases goes up even more. I think anal is disgusting and from what I've heard, it is tremendously painful. Also, any semen that runs down can still inpregnate you, or if he/you get caught up in the moment and do things the usual way. It also sounds like he is not planning on protection which is very scary as well.
What matters most is your self respect. Who cares what other girls or guys claim they are doing? Trust me, it is worth it to wait for the right person and marriage. The best gift you can give your future husband is that he was the first and you have no comparisons, and vice versa.
There are too many risks physically, emotionally, psychologically, etc. It should be a thing of beauty between two people not a source of stress.
You have a lot of dating years ahead of you - don't give yourself to someone who doesn't appreciate and respect your decision. You would regret going against your own heart. You are a girl of worth and that is what is most important - don't let anyone or anything take that from you. :)
2007-07-18 09:15:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stay a virgin. In many states, if he has sex with you, he can be hauled off to jail and he should be. As far as sex for you goes, you are too young to be thinking about this. If he isn't old enough to be out making a living, and taking care of his own expenses, he is not old enough to be the father of a child. Yes, you can get pregnant if you have anal sex. Think about the inch and a half wide strip of skin between your vagina and your anus. You need a lot of lubrication for anal sex to be possible and that same lubrication can easily allow transport of sperm right to where you don't want it to go. You are very young and you don't need to become a mother at 14. Remember it only takes one sperm to make a baby and you watch how fast this guy will exit stage right if you become pregnant.
2007-07-18 09:16:09 · answer #5 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Good for you for staying a virgin. It doesn't matter what your other friends are doing.... it is so much better (for health reasons, and emotional aftermath) to have the first time be with the guy that you marry and are planning on spending the rest of your life with. There are people out there who make that choice. It can be hard, but I think it is worth it.
As for the pain... If you are a virgin, it will hurt, for some people a lot. Possibly even the first few times. Your boyfriend may not be trying to lie to you, but he is a guy and has no clue. As for the anal sex... that particular opening is for things to come out of, not go in. It is just not designed for it, I think it would hurt a lot.
2007-07-18 09:09:03 · answer #6 · answered by baby_savvy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
STOP!
You are too young, THINK about it this way:
1) Q: How many 14-16 year olds are still with that same guy 2, 4, and more years later.
A: Almost none.
2) Q: How many 14-16 year olds get pregnant after becoming sexually active.
A: Man, many more than are in group #1.
Do the math sweetie. You are with the wrong guy, you need someone more your age, and someone that is not ready to introduce you to anal sex, or any sex for that matter.
If you do it, there is a high probability that you will regret it one way or another.
Good luck!
2007-07-18 09:07:47 · answer #7 · answered by Scott D 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Okay first off anal hurts...like HELL. and I say that from experience. me and my boyfriend tried it and I had to mutter stuff to myself so he could keep going until finally I got fed up made him stop and pull out. You're really young to be having sex however so I don't suggest that you give this guy your virginity just yet. He sounds like the type of guy that you'd want to do it with but you're still young. Since you had to ask a question about it that shows you aren't ready. So tell your bf that you aren't ready and enjoy kissing and touching with him. Just be careful that he knows your bonderies and YOU know them too. If you find that you do want to have sex with him remember there is oral if you find that you don't want to do the whole thing. And once you're ready to give him that part of you, you can use condoms or any other type of birth control that will prevent pregnancy. Also ask yourself these questions when you decide if you want to have sex with him 1. Is sexual intercourse needed for this relationship? 2. What will this relationship gain from sexual intercourse? 3. How will this relationship end? And since he's older be careful of legal ramifications. Just don't let him or your friends pressure you into a decision. Do what is best for you because you have to look at yourself in the mirror everyday after...Good Luck!
2007-07-18 09:11:02 · answer #8 · answered by faithful4ever13 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
The guy is just horny and playing on your emotions. He is trying to chip away at your defenses until you give in to everything. When you say no to sex because of a fear of pregnancy, he suggests anal sex. If you agree, he will continue to push for regular intercourse, but now he has eliminated most of your possible reasons for saying no.
At your age, there really is no good reason to be sexually active. It's like playing Russian roulette. You may survive and really enjoy the experience, or you may get pregnant (or diseased or dumped and labeled easy for the next four years of high school).
Just tell him to continue his relationship with Rosy Palm until you are ready for more.
2007-07-18 09:28:26 · answer #9 · answered by Bahmo 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can still get STDs from anal sex, and if you give him one kind of sex he'll eventually start pestering you to give him another. Plus, given the age difference, there could be some legal problems, it depends on the state you're in. If you have to ask this question, you're not 100% sure, so don't do it!
2007-07-18 09:05:19 · answer #10 · answered by Kelsey H 6 · 7⤊ 0⤋
You definately should not. You shouldn't do something that you aren't 100% confortable with. 14 is too young for any type of sex, your boyfriend is older so it's normal for his age to be doing it. But for your age it certainly isn't! You have a three year difference! He needs a girlfriend his own age or you are going to be pushed into having sex too soon! Wait a couple years like 3 or 4 and then if you still want to have sex with this kid, go for it. At least you wont be considered a **** or anything because at age 18 you are legally an adult and can make your own desicions. So wait a few years!! Don't do something you are obviously not ready for!
2007-07-18 11:20:16 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋