Please help?I really need advice!Do i tell my husband?

Question

I have been married a little over 2.5 yrs and have had many problems.My husband wanted me to get pregnant almost instantly after we got married he even had a deadline for when he wanted kids.The constant pressure from him to get me pregnant made sex misreable for me especially because i could not seem to get pregnant.I was unaware of his expectations before we got married and also had no idea he expected me to be a house wife( like his mother).I felt like i was being forced fed all of this.This all caused a never ending cycle of fights and eventually my husband started having an affair with his secratary almost 1.5 into our marriage.I found out we seperated for 3 months during that time i started having a fling with an ex.bf (first bf) because i wanted someone to cling too.Half the time we used condoms the other half not.I ended it when my husband Called to say he wanted to work things out.I found out I was pregnant with my now 1 month old son and am now unsure of paternity?

I also found out my ex.bf’s on and off live in gf was pregnant about same time i was and did not want to go there.But recently I found out my ex.bf’s daughter died shortly after birth from unknown complications.Well my son has been in out of hospital as well and doctors cant figure out what wrong?Is this coincidence all in my head?Do I need to tell my husband or just doctor?

I really can tell feature wise who my son looks like and i feel completley guilty.

Answer 1

You may as well tell your husband...it's not like he is in a position to criticise and judge you for what you've done. This way, you'll know the true paternity of your child and then cross that bridge when you get to it, in regard to your child's medical condition.

Answer 2

Tell him now. At a time like this (your sons illness) holding back is not a good idea. Right now your son should be your only concern.

Deal with the other issues after you know what is wrong with your son. If your husband has an ouce of compasion he will want what is best for the child, no matter who fathered that child.

A sick child is the most important thing here at this time.

Everything else should be put on the back burner tell you son is well.

Answer 3

You and your husband are whacks! Did he lie to you about the issue of children? If he did then he is also a schmuck. You had an affair and so did your husband. You both deserve one another it sounds like. However, there is a child involved. You should think of the child and not your own selfish wishes. Tell your husband the truth. That you are unsure of the paternity of the child. Your son could having something very serious.

Answer 4

you should've told him from the beginning I hope you can see that now. He was having an affair so it's not like he couldn't have understood. Not trying to make you feel bad for past mistakes though. At this point you absolutely should tell him. You can't have a good marriage without honest, but also you need to find out the father for your sons health reasons.

Sorry I know this is going to be very hard on all of you. You can find the strength to do what's right though

Answer 5

That's a tricky one. For the health of your child I would say discuss it with both your husband and your childs doctor. First I would say talk to the other guy and find out what happened to his child if they discovered anything after the child passed. What's done in the dark usually finds it's way to light. So if you haven't told your husband about the ex then you should you really don't have anything to hide, your husband cheated first. Your main concern should be for the safety and well being of your son. Good Luck!!!

Answer 6

You owe it to your son 1st of all to know who his father is. 2nd
your husband has the right to know that there's a possibility that he may not be the father. Suppose that for medical reason test have to be done and he needs to have some
sort transfusion or something point being is that anything can happen.Your husband cheated so he should understand that things happen, you 2 are adults so handle this matter in an adult way. good luck .P.S. keep it real

Answer 7

It seems that you have too many things at the same time. Take one step at a time. The first and most important step is to get your baby OK. Once that is done, second, resolve who is the father of your baby. Third let the father know and the other men also. Please be really sure before you tell them who is the father.

Good Luck.

Answer 8

I would get the paternity sorted out as soon as possible ( especially if there are possible health reasons for your son). Have both guys and your baby do a test. Get eveything out in the open and let what happens happen. good luck and blessings!

Answer 9

Ya so? now how is life working out for you? He got what he wanted, did you get or are you now getting what you want?

Who cares who the daddy is, you are married so just raise the child. If you don't like your husband (and I can't see why you do, controlling), than divorce him and seek bf if he is a better man, if not..............go it alone. You women are not weak you know. You are the stronger sex. Though I think I put up a good fight.

Answer 10

You need to tell him. A man deserves to know who his kids are.

After that I'd suggest a divorce. You two obviously didn't know each other very well before marriage, and you've both made horrendously immature and selfish decisions.

Have your baby tested to establish paternity; if medical issues are involved, it's for YOUR BABY'S HEALTH. Don't be selfish and protect your "reputation" when his health could be at risk.