I'm getting married in 4 weeks and I still haven't decide whether or not to change my last name. Deep down inside, I want to keep my name. I'm very proud of it & one of the last in my family's line. Can anyone give me the pros and cons of changing your last name? Thanks!
2007-07-18
08:03:13
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27 answers
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asked by
Firelady6
3
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm getting married in 4 weeks and I still haven't decide whether or not to change my last name. Deep down inside, I want to keep my name. I'm very proud of it & one of the last in my family's line. My fiancee doesn't care what I do - whatever makes me happy is what he says. As far as children, we are not planning to have any of our own. We plan to adopt so I'm not sure how that plays into things. Can anyone give me the pros and cons of changing your last name? Thanks!
2007-07-18
11:56:07 ·
update #1
He doesn't like my last name so he's not open to taking it as his. Although I like his last name, it's a very common name. Mine, on the other hand, is a very unique Dutch name. And it's not about "if I love him". It's more about identity - I've been one name for almost 30 years. It seems hard to give it up since I'm so proud of it. Plus, my father is the only male out of three sisters and he had daughthers. So, that's the other issue - there's really no one else to carry the name. I'm sure the name won't 'die' but I feel somehow responsible for carrying it on.
2007-07-26
06:00:55 ·
update #2
its up to you! if you want to keep your maiden name that much then do it!
pros are: you are commiting to be one unit...like a united front, you are becoming one family with one name,
cons are:all the hassle of changing your credit cards,bank cards, mobile,licence passport!
although i personally think that you have time to change it all! i mean it took me months before i got everything switched over! and trust me if you dont take his name you will feels second best and excluded when it comes to the inlaws in the future! they change when a ring is on the finger!! i know!!!! good luck!!
2007-07-26 04:01:06
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answer #1
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answered by natasha marie 1
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A wedding is joining 2 people as a new family...a family has a name. Taking his name doesn't change the fact that you're Jennifer Beck...and if you're concerned about keeping your last name due to lineage, are your children going to have your last name? And if so, that means your husband is going to be the only one with the different name?
I am all for changing the last name (as you can tell)...I love my last name (even more than his last name), but to me, the whole point of getting married is to become a family with this other person, and I really do believe a family should carry a family name.
2007-07-18 08:12:55
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answer #2
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answered by melouofs 7
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Pro - you share a last name with your husband! You're not Mr. Jones and Mrs. Smith, you're Mr. and Mrs. Jones. It was so fun for me to take my husband's last name! I love having a connection that everyone can see (or hear, I suppose). It also makes it easier when you have kids - everyone in the family has the same name, so there's no confusion as to whose name they take or why their last name is different from yours.
Con - it is a PAIN in the butt to get your name changed on everything. We've been married for 7 months, and I still have credit cards or other bills in my old name because it's such a process to get it switched over.
2007-07-18 08:14:07
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answer #3
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answered by greeneyes_bjb 6
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The pro is that you will be considered a "married woman", it'll bring you closer to your husband. It's also less of a hassle to prove you are married when signing up for medical/dental,etc. through an employer as well as programs from other agencies. As for the baby, it's taking on the father's last name so I don't see any problems. Unless you attempt to enroll him in programs in which you are the account holder. ie. insurance plans through your employer.
2016-04-01 00:19:16
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answer #4
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answered by Heather 4
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Its a personal choice, and sort of a decision between you/hubby. If he's not offended, then keep it, or better yet. Compromise, and keep your last name, and hyphen with the newly married name. Ex: Sue Smith-Jones. The thing I wouldn't like is your future kids names, being different from your's IF you keep your maiden name. Plus, if it makes any difference to you, people might not understand you're married. Hats off to you for being proud of your last name and wanting to keep it.
2007-07-18 08:16:03
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answer #5
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answered by sunflowergal 4
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Just a thought - why doesn't he take your last name? There's nothing saying you have to take his. If he took your name you would still have the same last name and any future children - adopted or natural - would also share that name. Think about it. I've seen it done before.
2007-07-25 03:20:51
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answer #6
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answered by pitterpat 3
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Here's what I did. I kept my maiden name, except I turned it into a second middle name, and took on my husband's last name as my last name. I'm named after both of my grandma's, and didn't want to lose those names, either. So now I'm Loraine as my first name, M and H are my two middle initials, and F is my last initial.
2007-07-18 08:41:33
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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If it will really bother you... don't change your last name. For my 2nd marriage, I was really hesitant about changing my last name... I mean, my daughter would keep that last name and I didn't want her to feel like she didn't belong... especially since her dad doesn't even know her. But, my husband was offended when I told him I was considering not changing my last name. I compromised and everyone is happy. I dropped my middle name, old last name became new middle name, and I took his last name. I never really liked hyphened names.
2007-07-18 08:12:25
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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Pro....it makes things legally more simple.
Pro....everyone has the same last name
Con....if you're the only person to carry on your family name
Con...you like your name
I made my maiden name my middle name & I legally use all 3 names....first maiden married.
2007-07-18 08:08:00
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answer #9
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answered by daljack -a girl 7
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I say keep it. Your proud of it and you want to keep that part of your family alive. Cons if you remove the family name dies with you, and you might regret it. Your husband dosent have a problem with it go for it. Don't lest that part of you and your family die because of marrige.
2007-07-26 02:21:00
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answer #10
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answered by beautifull103087 3
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