My fiance is about to have our first baby and Im starting to panic a bit (a bit bein the understatement of the century!!)lol.. I am looking forward to bein a dad but im just a bit anxious. Is it as hard as it seems to adjust to parenthood? Is there anything I should be doing to take the strain off my fiance? Any tips would be greatly appreciated..
2007-07-18 07:49:36 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
It is MUCH easier than it seems. Don't get bogged down by all the books and LONG lists of stuff you don't really need.
Chuck all those baby books. If there is ever a question, call the doctor (very simple).
Chuck all the gadgets that make life more complicated - bottle warmer, wipes warmer, front pack (get a sling, much simpler and more versatile), diaper organizer, changing table, big stroller that doesn't fit in your car's trunk, etc.
Baby needs:
a car seat
a safe place to sleep (crib, bassinet, car seat, play pen, co-sleeper, cardboard box with a blanket)
diapers
1 or 2 recieving blankets for swaddling
1 pack of onesies
a baby sling
Pretty much everything else is for the parents - not for the baby!
For your fiance:
#1 way to help her (and she will fall in love with you again) Put your laundry in the hamper or basket!
#2 way to help her (and she will fall in love with you again) Cook dinner at least twice a week. Wash the dishes on the days you don't cook.
#3 way to help her (and she will fall in love with you again) When you come home from work, give her a kiss on the cheek, pick up the baby and tell her to go take a nap. She will need it!
#4 way to help her (and she will fall in love with you again) When you care for the baby and when you go shopping together, YOU carry the baby in a sling.
#5 way to help her (and she will fall in love with you again) Ask - can I do something to help you? Just getting to the store to buy a pack of diapers can be overwhelming to a new mom. USually it's more about the hassle of teh car seat and carrying the baby than anything else. You go get the diapers or whatever and ask if she wants to con with. But you get the baby in and out of the car and carry the baby too. Just let her get out of the house, relax and get some fresh air for a change.
Keep it simple. The gadgets don't matter to your baby. what matters to your baby is comfort, safety and affection. Why bother lugging car seat into a grocery store or restaurant when baby just wants to be held? Slip baby into a sling a your'e hands-free, bulky seat free to enjoy yourselves.
Babies are very portable and surprisingly quiet. Don't allow the baby to prevent you from going to movies, church and shopping. bring him/her with!
2007-07-18 08:07:26 · answer #1 · answered by buterfly_2_lovely 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you are actually worried and asking about how to take some stress off your fiance tells me that you are already a better dad than most. It sounds like you'll do great. Just relax and enjoy. Relaxing will help your fiance to relax also, she doesn't need added stress. All you can do is be there for her, and it sounds like you are doing that.
No, it's not as hard to adjust to parenthood. You will fall right into line with it. It comes natural when they are born. Of course it's not as natural for a man as it is for the mother, but you seem to be on top of things. Don't be nervous, babies don't break. You guys will learn together.
2007-07-18 07:56:36 · answer #2 · answered by cotoncandy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might have obtained a leg up on a number of people that simply suppose it'll be a piece of cake and you are existence won't trade so much! At the least you're residing actually! I cannot lie, it can be a tremendous adjustment at first, but a exclusive one. The item my husband and that i had the hardest time with was once the sleep deprivation. You haven't any idea how much sleep you lose! You consider as soon as the child is asleep that you may sleep - yeah correct, you then stand watch over him/her worrying whether or not or no longer they are respiration!!! But once you get by way of the 1st month or two though it gets simpler. You, and the youngster, will get right into a hobbies and existence will start to even out again. So far as your fiancé goes, simply be there to aid her. Her moods will change with the wind so you have to be paitient. She'll go by means of spells of being extra worn out, so something chores you could help with will aid drastically. The great factor is whatever you can do to help her relax ~ consider about what she likes to do (ie: a satisfactory bath, get her nails carried out, go out to dinner, give her a again rub, etc.). So have enjoyable and enjoy and relax slightly yourself! Congratulations and excellent good fortune!
2016-08-04 05:40:17 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a mother of 2 children and #3 is on the way. My husband helps me while I'm pregnant by helping with chores, letting me sleep longer while he gets the other two children ready for the day and messages my achy muscles!
Don't worry about being a parent! Enjoy the time you have with your fiance and enjoy the pregnancy! Wait till the baby moves! Make sure you hand is supper light on her tummy so the baby can't tell if it's someone other than it's mommy....a nurse told me that.
The only thing is when the baby's born, take an extra hour to get ready to go somewhere in th mornings till you get things on a schedule. And if she's emotional, remember it's because she's pregnant...just be there for her and don't stress her out.
Congrats and good luck to you both!!!!!!!
Mother of 2 and #3 on the way.
2007-07-18 07:58:50 · answer #4 · answered by ThereIsHope 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations first of all. This is an exciting time in your lives so be sure to absorb all the beauty. I've raised two daughters and I'm not saying every phase is easy but always take a deep breath, remember that baby is the love of your life. With your fiance', rub her feet, shoulders, make her some tea, get up with baby especially after you get home from the hospital. A woman's body goes through a lot during and after pregnancy, you being supportive, loving and strong is the best you can do.
2007-07-18 07:54:55 · answer #5 · answered by fosmom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Panic is normal reaction but here's the best part... becoming a parent happens slowly. At first, they are sleepyall the time and it seems easy. Especially if the mommy is breastfeeding..you'll neverhave to get up at night to feed the little one. (but mommy will be soooo tired.)
The hardest part at first is adjusting your time and flexibilty. You'll have to take a baby seat everywhere you go...nights out to dinner will be difficult..You'll have to stop in the middle of things to feed or change the baby. It's a nice slow intro to what's really about to happen.
By the time baby is 2 years old (you'll be a parenting pro by then) You will have to be ultra vigilant. They love to play in/near water, have no fear of strangers or traffic and may leap from tall things b/c it looks like fun. This is where parents earn the big bucks.
If you do most things right in these first years, you have made your life much easier for the older years, when they are out of your sight more often.
My very best advice here is this:
Teach firm guidelines and practice what you preach from a young age.
As for your fiance... she'll need some time to rest in these first months. Learn how to change a diaper and make a bottle. Offer to carry the baby or the daiper bag as often as possible. and for sanity's sake, don't give her a hard time about going out with her girlfriends. It's better than therapy.
2007-07-18 08:01:37 · answer #6 · answered by Puma Man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to relax. No, parenthood is not easy, and yes there will be a lot of adjustments. However, you will forget any anxiety the moment you set eyes on your newborn. As for you fiance, just be there. Let her know that you are there to support her. Help her with the finishing touches for the baby's space... help her pack a bag for the hospital... clean up the house...etc. Most of all let her know that emotionally you are beside her 100%. Congratulations and best wishes!
2007-07-18 07:55:05 · answer #7 · answered by sara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her and be supportive in any way that she needs.
When you see your baby you will fall so deep in love that the things that are bothering you right now will mostly fade away.
To some people babies aren't really an adjustment at all... others find it the biggest adjustment of their lives...
However you feel after your baby is born, you will be the two people that your child leans on and needs to guide him/her through life.
Take every day as it comes, and try to be as patient as possible!! Listen to cues from your fiance' to see how she is feeling about the situation too... you two can do it together...it's what parenting is all about!!!
Good luck and congrats!! =)
2007-07-18 07:55:38 · answer #8 · answered by * JuSt Me * 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing to do right now, is constantly asking her if you can do anything for her. At the early stages like a couple weeks, there really isnt a whole log for the dad to do but cuddle and comfort the child. They are either sleeping or eating and if she is breast feeding then you can really feed until there is a bottle. So best thing to do is comfort your fiance and let her know how beautiful she is and build her self esteem. That is what the whole family needs most of all. That will effect your family further down the road if she isnt confident and thinks you think she is sexy.
Congrats!!!
2007-07-18 07:57:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All first time parents have this panic as well as excitement. There are many parent courses you could take thru your hospital. They won't let you leave the hospital til they teach you the basic baby care anyways. The rest will come natural and what doesn't you will learn at your well baby checkups. Be there with your fiance and learn as much as you can. And remember we are all here at Answers to help you out if you have any more questions....
2007-07-18 07:55:48 · answer #10 · answered by Kishauna_P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋