How would you handle a woman like this?

Question

she was very emotional throughout our whole marriage. Ups and downs, accusations of paranoid fantasies of me having an affair (i would never do that. I loved her to death), yelling, telling me she had PMDD a lot (the really severe kind of PMS), telling me i didn't love her, not trusting me. here's the thing though....I never did anything wrong it was like she was expecting it or purposely sabotaging the marriage for some reason. Her family always told me she was a little off and if she was taking her medicine. The final straw was during an argument in front of my son she accused me of abuse and went back to live with her family. Now she's got a lawyer and wants a divorce. I'm just shocked. I did love the woman to death but I'm leaving her totally alone. I haven't even heard from her in 3 months. She always told me I was the love of her life. What should I do? She's fabricated in her head that i was just awful and is telling everyone I was abusive and awful. I still love her though.

Answer 1

I think you need counseling to help you through this situation...but what about the person you are seeing who is 600 miles away

"alright folks I'm in love with someone 600 miles away. We both have children and can't relocate but we're it for each other. We've both been divorced and know exactly what we want....each other."

Answer 2

She appears to be insecure, paranoid and mentally unstable a/c to your question. How well do you know the woman as a responsible daughter / woman / wife / mother? How long have you two been married? When offspring are involved, the situation becomes complicated.
You need time apart. In your lowest ebb, call to Jesus Christ, God Most High, and He shall raise you up and He will be your strength. During prayer, recall the good times your'll have had and forgive the not so good times (even if you don't really mean it in the beginning). But continue doing this and you will find yourself and your spouse to be in love all over again, but this time its gonna be sweeter than honey. That's the Lord's word, not mine. Seek counselling as individuals and as a couple. Confide in somebody as it will help heal the wounds. Because of your love for her and your son, give it another go. Do not let another marriage end so easily, please.
May heaven guide you in your thoughts, words and deeds. For love is the greatest of all.

Answer 3

Get yourself a lawyer and file your own divorce proceedings that give you custody of your son.
It would be really bad for him to grow up in an environment with a mother like that. There were many times that I had wished my father would have divorced my mother.

You have to have your own lawyer throughout the entire proceedings, before and after. One thing her lawyer is going to definitely do is look out for her interests. This means that if you do not have an attorney, then you are SCREWED.

Answer 4

She is clearly unstable if what you say is true. Yes, you may love her but evidently she feels no love for you or wants the marriage to continue. Harsh, I know. I know you are in shock but time will heal. Continue to do the right thing, get the divorce over with, get your life back in order and put this behind you.

Answer 5

I know how hard this can be. My ex boyfriend was diagnosed with depression and it made it hard for him to see my true feelings and intentions. He did things similiar to your wife where he would insist I didn't love him and that he was in this alone. I didn't know what to do either. I just tried to be there for him but it just got so hard and was so much to deal with. I wish I had an answer for you. I'm sure it's weighing you down seeing how you haven't seen her in three months. It's important for her to get the help she needs. Sometimes its not just medication that will do it. And if she is going to me taking meds she needs to make sure to keep up with them. I would suggust one on one therapy along with family counseling- so she actually comes to understand just how important she is to all of you and how much she is loved. I'm not sure if you have tried contacting her but wouldn't suggest it just yet anyways. She is not in the right state of mind and it's not your fault whatsoever. I think you should try contacting her family and telling them how much you miss her, how much you love her, how important she is to you and how you are worried about her. I'm sure they know her just as well as you do and know that she needs to seek help. Tell them that you are interested in being part of her life again and want to do anything you can to help her get better. Just make sure that you are ready to deal with both the highs and the lows just like before. It's going to be hard and it's going to take time and effort but if this is truly what you want then you need to take the leap. Good Luck with Everything.

Answer 6

u need to get away from her, she has illusions and when a person has mental issues they usually stay that way and make life miserable for u forever. let her tell what she wants to tell, u know in your heart u are not to blame. she will eventually get tired of talking about u and telling lies. she lies to justify her own behavior so others will believe it was all your doing. don't ever go back to her even if u do still love her, there are lots of good women out there, u don't have to settle for a nut case.

Answer 7

Let her go. You will be miserable for the rest of your life if you stay in that kind of marraige. Even if she tells you that she can change, don't believe her. She can't. Good luck & God Bless you. Stay strong.

I have known people like her. All the therepy in the world won't help!

Answer 8

She is who she is. All you can do is take away the lesson you have learned, which is to pursue long-term relationships with sane women only. Marrying a mentally ill woman and wishing she were not is like marrying an Oriental woman and wishing she were Latina -- you can wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which one fills up faster.

Answer 9

Unfortunately, it sounds like her problem has got nothing to do with how you behave towards her, nor is it within your power to solve. All you can do is hope that she gets some counselling and centers herself and realises that you are a good guy. Maybe a relative of hers (who sympathises with you) can suggest counselling to her? She might not react well if it came from you...

Answer 10

how would i handle that? i wouldn't. i have lived with people who are pretty insane. it's not worth it. why would you put yourself through all this emotional stress when you could find someone who treats you like gold and trusts you? you know, someone that you don't have to worry about what mood they are in when you come home. good luck