My ex-husband wants us to get back together as a family. He spoke to me for about 1 hour the other day.
I have always hated the fact that he compared me to his sisters. He has two sisters and one is exactly the same age as me (born on the same day/ year) and the other is 4 years younger.
He was saying how the sister that is my age is so loyal to her husband and would never go against her. He says that I was not loyal to him.
It bothered me that I have made a big issue about being compared to his sisters and he still does it.
Am I giving it too much importance?
I know that he also has his own issues with me. I sometimes hang up quickly without really closing the conversation and saying Goodbye.
2007-07-18 07:05:45 · 11 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're not giving it too much importance so much as putting it on the wrong issue. What's significant here is not that he is comparing you to his sister -- she is just a convenient example for him to use. What's significant is that he is questioning your loyalty. Why? In what way were you disloyal? When he compares you to his sister, or to anyone, don't focus on WHO he is comparing you to, but on what basis. You would do well to address his concerns about disloyalty directly rather than diverting your attention to the way he goes about communicating the issue.
2007-07-18 07:14:57 · answer #1 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It really only comes down to one question " Do you love him " If the answer is yes then how much do you love him and just how much are you willing to put up with. You really shouldn't hang up on him without at least a good-by.Has he every done that to you and if not how do you think you would feel if he did that to you. If comparing you to his sister bothers you that much then you need to tell him not once but every time he does it. Men have a very short extension span you really do need to tell him just how much that hurts you and explain why.It's easy to remember the good days and all the fun the two of you had before the marriage.What you need to do is weight the pros and cons and then you will have your answer.
2007-07-18 07:22:38 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the reason for the divorce in the first place?
Every time my ex-husband talks about getting back together, we talk all over the place and then I remember,
"oh yea, I divorced him because he has difficulty telling the truth and it's impossible to grow old with someone when you never know what's going on."
Whenever we talk, I get lost in the rude comments and other trivial stuff and forget the real reason for the divorce.
I don't like to be compared and i don't like it when someone doesn't say goodbye, but those aren't deal breakers.
2007-07-18 07:13:26 · answer #3 · answered by Bentley 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be not so concerned as to what he is saying- is it really of any importance? Your x- husband is trying and succeeding in playing you. So what if he sees his sister as loyal- step up to the plate and tell him- it does not affect you. I do have another suggestion for you- have you ever really looked at his mothers and fathers relationship?- does he(x) follow in his fathers shoes. Sure sounds like it. If you are STILL considering a reconciliation you may want to look a little harder and be a bit more circuital. Just how much is your life worth-only you can judge this- how much do you want to live in HIS shadow? My friend- stop double guessing yourself and your decisions- by allowing him to tell you negative it is a subtle way of undermining you and him taking full control. Please discount the negative he brings to you and your being- concentrate on being a MOTHER, SUPPORTER TO YOUR DAUGHTER, AND FRIEND. It should not matter what he may think as long as you truthful with yourself.
2007-07-18 09:41:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should not compare you with his sister at all, a wife and a sister are two totally different relationships.He should love you for you. Only you know if you were loyal to him or not . He sounds like a bit of a control freak to me. Dont allow him to make you feel worthless you are not x
2007-07-18 07:19:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would bug me if my man compaired me to one of his family members, you need to voice your opinion whenever he does it but dont turn it into a fight.
And I hate it when people hang up without closing the conversation, it's a sign of disrespect so that is probably how he feels. Just take the time to say goodbye when you need to hang up. Good luck in the future~!
2007-07-18 07:11:59 · answer #6 · answered by U1S2K3O4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's an ex for a reason
its obviously still bothering you as well it should
its flattering to be compared in a positive light but it just doesnt work the other way.
dont go back...he hasnt changed and most likely wont
2007-07-18 07:29:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be bothered by it too. Why is she being put on such a pedestal? We all have our quirks. But it sounds like you need reaffirmation if you decide not to go back to him. I wouldn't. It sounds like it will just be the same old blah, blah, blah from him.
2007-07-18 07:12:29 · answer #8 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would bother me also but at the end of it all you are her and never will and if thats what he wants then he doesnt need you. be firm be strong and dont let him treat you like this. maybe he feels that he can tell you things to get to you maybe you are still too nice with him. you gotta tell it like it is!!!
2007-07-18 08:35:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go back with him if he does that. It seems weird that guy wuld compare you to his sisters. So i would just go on with ur life.
2007-07-18 07:14:53 · answer #10 · answered by Mellie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋