i HAVE KIDNAPPED MYSELF, IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE ME AGAIN, ANSWER THIS QUESTION?

Question

and make it funny or I get it

Answer 1

I hope when you are returned you give yourself a big french kiss.

Answer 2

lightning shouldn't strike twice but don't stand quite obviously in public or i'll have you in the back of the van and away in a jiffy.

When I kidnap you you get pie and cake, and your wallet ( or purse ) is taken away so you can't even get a taxi home, and then you are subjected to various forms of happiness, possibly over several days (depending on how good a mate you are.)
three days is my record kidnap so far, and everyone leaves captivity smiling!

Answer 3

Just take Your hand off Your keyboard,.... and get up from the computer.......We don't want to hurt You but We will in order to save You............YOU DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE! Just throw out the Boy then come out with Your hands up. The Boy first, and then You. No funny stuff or He gets it........ If He tries anything You get it. We mean it punk. Step away from Him or the Computer gets it....... Watch out...He's got a mouse...TAKE HIM OUT * ** * Let that be a lesson to You Kid...Computer crime doesn't pay.

Answer 4

well it is about this poor farmer, who had no land and had to work on other peoples land.

he had only one possession of his own in this world - his hand plough, made up of a wooden handle and an iron blade. He lived for free in a small chamber of a farm house owned by somebody else.

one day he thought, "to hell with this earthly life, I am going to live an ascetic life in the forest. He wanted to live in peace and careless and free like an animal, away from all worries of the world.

so he left his plough in his chamber and went to the forest and lived there and found peace of mind. But this lasted for only a few days! the thought of his hand plough was troubling him. Termites might have started on its wooden handle or somebody would have already got his hand on it etc.

he finally couldn’t bear no more and returned back to the farm. after a few months of the same life he again thought about living in the forest and finding peace. so he set out again. but again the thought of his hand plough troubled him and he had to return within a few weeks of living the ascetic life in forest

this thing repeated for 6 more times! every time he had to return to his farm. the 7 th time the poor farmer declared - "I will throw away my only possession and get rid of the problem for good" he decided to throw the hand plough in the near by river and climbed up on a small hillock on the banks. he was quite clever so he decided he would close his eyes when he threw the plough so that he will not be able to come back and retrieve it again even if he wished to.

so he closed his eyes and swung the hand plough around his head three times and with a loud cry, threw it as far in to the river as he could. he was finally happy and laughing and declared "I WON" and started climbing down the hill

but the king of the land was camping on the same hillock, on the way back to his palace. He had been fighting big wars with many of the neighboring kings and had defeated them all and was coming back victorious

he heard the big cry "I WON" and wondered who it must be. so he asked his soldiers to fetch the man. he saw it was only our poor farmer, still with a great smile on his face, like that smile on the face of a tiger who had secretly swallowed the hunter.

the king said in amusement - "Hey man, I have won the big war on my enemies and added a lot of land to my kingdom. I thought I was the one who was the big winner here and the most happy. May I ask you to explain your loud cry "I WON" and the happy smile on your face?

the farmer who was still very happy and smiling told the king, "your majesty, I have conquered myself! and that’s why I cried I WON. I am going to the forest, I want nothing any more and I have nothing to worry about"

Answer 5

Ocean of Notion's reply reminds me of this Cat Stevens song

"And if I ever lose my hands
lose my power - lose my land -
Oh if I ever lose my hands - Ooh
I won't have to work no more.

And if I ever lose my eyes
if my colours all run dry
Yes, if I ever lose my eyes - Ooh
I won't have to cry no more.

Yes, I'm bein' followed by a moon shadow
moon shadow, moon shadow.
Leapin' and hoppin' on a moon shadow
moon shadow, moon shadow.

And if I ever lose my legs
I won't moan and I won't beg
Oh, if I ever lose my legs - Ooh
I won't have to walk no more.

And if I ever lose my mouth
all my teeth North and South
Yes, if I ever lose my mouth - Ooh
I won't have to talk.

Did it take long to find me? I asked the faithful light.
Did it take long to find me and are you gonna stay the night?

I'm bein' followed by a moon shadow, moon shadow, moon shadow. Leapin' und hoppin' on a moon shadow, moon shadow , moon shadow

Answer 6

If you're in the wrong place at the wrong time then it's just your own fault.

Answer 7

LMAO!!! :)) You are a riot! I'll go get my "FREE TJ NOW!" sign and picket this post. Don't worry, TJ! We'll save you!

Answer 8

i will give you anything you want as long as you dont hurt you!!

WHAT!