I have been with my husband for nine years (5 of this married to him). He turned round and told me a month ago that the feelings he felt werent strong enough to sustain a marriage, we have a three year old son. I am absolutely devastated, he is my soulmate, I am totally in love with him and can't stop crying. I just feel empty and very very lonely, nobody wants a divorcee with a child do they? The thought of starting again is horrible, I miss him terribly he was so affectionate and always there for me nomatter what? Doe anyone else feel the same, or going through the same predicament?
2007-07-18 05:19:08 · 37 answers · asked by medra 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
nope.
2007-07-18 05:21:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I am sorry for what you are going through. There isn't much I can say to you other then sorry and yes, time does at least minimize pain.
Is there someone in your husbands life who can have a good "man to man" talk with him? Frankly, his excuse of "feelings aren't strong enough to sustain a marriage" is a load of trash. He needs someone to remind him of the promise he made and the terrible choice he is making now. He needs to live for more then himself and his "feelings". When did men stop being men anyhow? Sorry, a little rant on my part.
If there is no good person who can help your husband make a better decision, I would be happy to talk to him, if he is willing. I could call, e-mail, or even visit with him if he is close enough. Maybe that is an empty offer, but if there is any way that would work out let me know. That being said, I don't want to surprise him by having some stranger get in touch with him. I will only do it if you run it by him and he is interested.
2007-07-18 05:30:32 · answer #2 · answered by hutmikttmuk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2007-07-20 07:27:16 · answer #3 · answered by bylovemagic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been through a very similar situation & I can tell you that the pain will subside. I don't think it ever goes away completely but the days of crying all day & night will go away. It won't always be the only thing you think about. What helped me was to put my focus, my time & my attention in my son. I made sure that he was protected from all that was going on & made sure he felt my unconditional love. Make your son your #1 priority right now. It will be the best thing for him & will help you heal as well. I promise. The #1 thing to do is pray. God got me through some very hard times. He will never let you down. He gives a peace that passes all understanding.
2007-07-18 05:29:12 · answer #4 · answered by Pamela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aw. I have never been through a break-up like that, but it does hurt, and it may take a while to get over it. I've seen a lot of marriages/relationships end, and after a few months, usually it starts to feel better.
The best thing to do is surround yourself with people who love and care about you, start up some hobbies, work more, just use all your time NOT thinking about it.
Once you're over it, starting over will be fun. Just dating and being around guys who like you, are fun and appreciate your company. Maybe you'll find a hotter, nicer, more caring person who has more of the same interests as you. You will find a way to mend your broken heart, we all go through it. Promise!
Just be patient. Everything happens for a reason.
2007-07-18 05:28:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry for the pain you are going through. To help, let's clarify some things.
One, he is not your soul mate. If he was he would not be doing this to you.
Two, lots of men have no problem with a divorcee with a child. My wife of 14 years had three kids when we got married. My sister-in-law married her second husband with two kids, etc etc.
Three, the pain is devastating now but it will eventually heal. It doesn't seem like it now but over time it will.
Right now you need to be strong for your child and make new arrangements. A lawyer, monetary arrangements when your husband moves out, etc. You may need some counselling as well.
Time will make everything OK.
2007-07-18 05:26:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds bad, but you need to try and cheer up, your son needs you. It will be hard to start over, but in time the pain will ease and one day you will wake up looking forward to what the day and future has in store for you. Remember your son is the man in your life for now and enjoy him. As for men not wanting a divorcee with a child, that is not true. The true men look for a soulmate and not whether the woman has a child at home or not. When you find a guy who wants to be with you and your son, you know you have found true love and a real man. Good luck
2007-07-18 05:25:40 · answer #7 · answered by supermom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry? It sounds like he is a big loser to do this to u! When i was little (about six) my parents got divorced and it was horrible but as time went by it got better and the tears stoped falling. Ur son will have a little bit of a hard time trying to figure out what is going on but as he gets older just tell him what happen and he will understand ok! This goes for u to, time will heel and dating new people will be fun! I do know what ur going through and I hope I have helped u a little!
2007-07-18 05:31:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure there have been people who have had or are in the same predicament. It's time to hold out for the future of your son. Find a new man. A new man who will really love you and you son. A man whom can dry your tears and warm your heart. Some man who can teach your son to grow up with a happy childhood. There is always someone in the world for only one person. Someone only they can meet. Someone who will always have new adventures. Don't cry anymore, find that man!
2007-07-18 05:25:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try to remember, it is a big beautiful world out there. If you are as sweet as you sound,you'll have no problem meeting a guy as good if not better than your husband. There is a guy out there that will love you and your son. If you are a great catch, it won't matter that you have a son. There are alot of us affectionate men out there and believe it or not we're looking for somebody like you to love. ( I'm an affectionate man with a great wife, but I went through my share of crap to get here.) The posssibilities are endless, just stay positive.
2007-07-18 05:32:33 · answer #10 · answered by Scott S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there! You will need to put your energy into raising your child. Try to forget about getting into another relationship. You are correct in assuming most men do not want a single mother, so starting today, figure out a way to be the head of the household and make goals for your life.
Your tears will dry up, but you may have nightmares for years and years.
2007-07-18 05:26:12 · answer #11 · answered by The_Overlord 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋