My best friend that I knew since highschool just lost his boyfriend from a drunk driver. Now, he is crying and crying and telling me that he can't take it anymore and wants to end his life.
The problem is that he lost his first boyfriend when we were our freshman year in higschool, then his second boyfriend died from a car accident. His third boyfriend dumped him for another guy, his fourth boyfriend dumped him for a GIRL, and now he has been dating his last boyfriend for a year and he was killed by a drunk driver a few nights ago.
We just got back from his funeral and my Jeremy keeps crying and crying, and he keeps saying that life is not fair for him. He keeps saying that everytime he loves some one he lost them and now he had enough and can't take it anymore.
He keeps saying that he wants to die, he even asks me to stab him with a knife.
What should I do? I love him and I don't want to lose my best friend. Please Help.
2007-07-18 05:13:05 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Good heavens!!! The amount of pain your friend must be in has got to be enormous. He probably does not want to die, he just wants his pain to end and dying seems the only solution to him at the moment.
If he is intent on suicide, he will find a way and you cannot stop it. But, what you can do is to listen to him when he needs to talk. Keep telling him that things will one day get better. It won't be better tomorrow, but eventually. Encourage him to ride out the storm and that you'll be by his side. Jeremy is in a state of grief. And there is no time limit on that.
He needs to see his doctor immediately. Ask Jeremy if he will speak with a professional counselor and if necessary, you will accompany him the first few times.
You are a good person for wanting to help him, but realize that you cannot do it alone and that you need to take of yourself as well. Don't be Jeremy's only pillar of support. Seek out others who can help share looking out for him.
Remind him that if he kills himself, the pain he is feeling now will be his legacy to those who love him. Ask him if he wants you and others to experience the hurt and loss he is experiencing now.
I wish you both the very best of luck.
2007-07-18 05:54:15 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
O Drew, what a situation. That must really feel like Armaggeddon for your friend. I feel for him.
I think there is no way you can actually convince him into anything. All you CAN do is be very very nice, which is already a sign for him that there ARE reasons for staying alive.
An argument that is often used is "if you die now then you don't know how your story would go and perhaps it would still be a beautiful one"... but I don't think in this situation... it will be hard.
What is true though is that through all these experiences that your friend has, he will perhaps become a very wise, experienced person, that knows what life is about... and we as a whole can not miss that sort of person ! They are what our lives are about.
2007-07-18 06:05:41 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell him everything that would go wrong if he commited suicide.
Thats what I do. I start listing off the effects if all else has failed,but do it in a nice manner.
example: "we'll, if you die then your little sister will have anxiety issues,and then 2 years later she will commit suicide.after she goes your parents kill themselves and then your older brother becomes addicted to drugs because he just cant take it anymore and dies 3 years later of an overdose. meanwhile,all your friends have fallen apart and are going into counseling,and that guy you were supposed to spend the ret of your life with remains alone,and dies alone..you cant kill yourself-you have WAY too much to take care of here."
and then after that they usually think about it and completely re consider. i've tried this many times before and it works every time.its kinda like explaining that "everything has a purpose"
2007-07-18 05:55:09 · answer #3 · answered by RainbowParrotFish 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Apparently he's got a subconscious belief that creates these things. Get a book called (do not be put off about the title) 'Attracting Abundance with EFT' by Carol Look. Its about releasing old emotional baggage on a subconscious level that really works, and fast. Get the book, share it with him, use it yourself and be free and happy.
2007-07-18 05:53:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
be there for him and tell him that although he cant see it know there are still a lot of people that love him and would miss him. if you are willing and he will allow it, hold him tight and listen to him. if he asks you again tell him that you will not help him take away your best friend (or however gets the piont across that you need him there with you) if at all possible dont leave him alone. he needs you right know. if you leave him alone he may do it. i hope you get through to him. my prayers are with you. good luck.
2007-07-18 05:52:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough time for him but he will get over it, be it in a month, a year or ten, and at that point he will be glad he is still alive. This is a big thing to be dealing with yourself and your friend is in danger from himself... I think the best thing is for him to get some bereavement councelling. I think it can be organised through his doctor, a charity or maybe even the funeral home can suggest someone to see. Good luck xx
2007-07-18 05:20:03 · answer #6 · answered by ritasayshello 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
perhaps you may help her which comprise your individuals and help the kin so she will have a unfastened day and go and do some thing togheter visit a movie or to a park so she will relaxs for an afternoon
2016-10-21 22:14:19 · answer #7 · answered by rajkumar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be there for him, but advise him (and take him if you have to)to seek professional counseling because he has gone through a great deal of hearbreak in his life.
2007-07-18 05:30:28 · answer #8 · answered by nycguy10002 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you truly feel he's a danger to himself...call 911! (or whatever emergency number you have for the Police/Ambulence..if you're not in the USA)
Seroiusly!!!
2007-07-18 05:21:15 · answer #9 · answered by DEATH 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stay with him and comfort him. Tell him how you feel about your friendship with him. Tell him that he's loved. Just be there for him. He really needs you.
2007-07-18 05:22:43 · answer #10 · answered by JLee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋