Im 7months pregnant, & Me And my Husband were together 4yrs before we decided to get married, we have now been married 2months and everything is horrible. He lives with his parents and I live with my father, & just one day he stoped coming to stay with me for 2weeks! Come to find out he was with someone else, nothing sexual but he did like her and they were hanging out everyday! :( We have been having problems with being happy really the last yr & now things are worse. He wont take me anywhere to hang with him and his friends, I cant call or txt message him without getting grief, I cant come over here without almost begging, Hes not as Affectionate with me at all anymore, Our sex life is horrible..Im just so unhappy right now with things but, I Love him with all my heart & know there is still enough there to make us happy together he just wont try and help himself find it. Were both trying to make things right but, its just so hard & its hard to forget abot her! Any Suggestions?
2007-07-18 05:02:44 · 17 answers · asked by birdluver24 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I agree with the two other answerers....put the baby up for adoption and lose this idiot you married. You are in no position to move forward with any of this and that poor baby doesn't deserve all this damn drama!!
2007-07-18 05:26:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi BL.....I'm so sorry to hear about your problem....Sometimes men have this problem when their wife/gf is pregnant. They don't know how to emotionally handle it. Is this your first child? Men get nerdy and stupid and ignorant at times when their better half is with child. It's a phase I assume...lol Then there are those that turn into AH's and feel that their wife is ugly or too fat and unattractive when the woman is pregnant. Then there are those men that completely lose all site of reality and forget that they have a wife carrying their child. It's called denial. Sounds to me that your husband is the type, that doesn't feel he has any responsibility or concern for you or his child. He's being selfish. Thinking only for himself and what he wants. He may not be ready to settle down and have children. He might be running away from reality. If this is your first child then you must stop and think that prior on you becoming pregnant it was just you and him. he didn't have to share you with anyone else so do speak or any other responsibilities. Now he's going to have a child to where he feels that his freedom will be taken away. I'm not saying that this is right mind you, I'm just saying what could be possibly on his mind right now. He needs to snap back into reality! And fast before this baby is born. He might feel different after the baby is born also, changing his behavior and attitude. But here again it's a pathetic shame that you had to deal with his inconsiderate behavior. And if he told you that this other (female) and him weren't having sex don't believe a word of it, in most cases men do have affairs when their wives/gf's are pregnant. Unless you were fortunate enough to marry a man that believes in the sactification of marriage. Have a blessed day!
2007-07-18 05:40:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
PUT THE BABY UP FOR AN ADOPTION ???????? Jeesss what's wrong with some of these people? there comes a time in life that you have to realize that what appears to be, is not reality, or actual. It's obvious as to what you have stated that this relationship on his part is over, now you need to realize that, and go on with your life, and find the person you are really meant to be with. don't worry about the baby, there are alot of programs out there to help you with the support till the time comes he has to step up to the bar and face his reality he has a child. There is nothing wrong with a single mom, it's done every day and done extreamly well by many. If he is acting this away now, he will continue and will never change, it will only get worse. Keep the old saying in mind " NEXT!"
2007-07-18 05:20:33 · answer #3 · answered by seemeelater 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Whoa!
You've got problems, but it is not as bad for you as it will be for your soon-to-be-born child.
Imagine not having a loving, nurturing father!
Anyway - a couple of things:
"..nothing sexual..." - how do you know that nothing happened between his other girl?
Assume the worst, okay?
Let's don't play Pollyanna here...you got a loser husband/sperm-donor and chances are good he might even be donating his sperm to another woman...and possibly spreading sexually-transmitted diseases (get yourself checked!).
Secondly, get an attorney.
You'll need it.
He won't be around by the time baby pops out and you'll be left paying for everything...unless you learn what your rights are.
Thirdly, since you said you guys live with your parents, I can only guess that you two are in your teens.
Let's face facts: you guys are not suitable candidates for parenthood.
Consider giving the baby a real survival rate and check out an adoption option.
Finally, STOP with the emotional train-of-thought.
You are in no condition for rational thinking...all your hormones are in super-high gear during this pregnancy and with your idiot husband doing his asinine antics.
You need to step back and do some logical, analytical and critical thinking about what is happening on all these fronts...seek out a religious leader and/or family counselor for some unbiased and much-needed advice.
2007-07-18 05:25:25 · answer #4 · answered by docscholl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the most difficult thing you have to do, but you have to stay away from him. Always remember that he caused the problem and you have to leave the problem with him and make it his responsibility, especially because you are 7 months pregnant.
It will be torturous, but that's when you will look like you have alot of self respect, pride, dignity, esteem and value. He will be wondering what's going on and he might have to know. That's when he'll check in with you. I'm not saying that he's going to come back to you, but things might change. He thinks that right now he has you on a leash, because he knows you want him back. Watch what happens when you don't want him back. His curiosity will begin.
Don't forget he will be the father of your child, so he will always be a part of your life financially and when he sees his child, etc.
Let him respect you and see you with your chin up and independant enough to never stoop to his level. He probably loves that he has two woman by the throat, but you could just laugh in his face right now, because he's the one that failed! NOT YOU!
You will have to wait and I don't know how long, but he will react and begin to wonder what you're thinking or feeling. I'm telling you, stay the hell away from that jerk and soon you will make all the decisions. Just think about that beautiful baby that's going to change your life for the better!
I wish you all the luck. God Bless
2007-07-18 05:21:05 · answer #5 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
face that right now you are a single mother. concentrate on being as healthy as possible. do not think about this all until the baby is born. do not beg him for anything. the stress you are putting yourself thru is hurting your baby. so, for the next two months take a complete break from trying to see him. that is just the way it is. after the baby is born you need to make some decisions. but right now the only !!!!! thing to do is to let this drama go. give him his space. this is a gift you are giving your baby. when you are having drama and stress while you are pregnant it affects your baby's growth. it is only two months. eat well, rest a lot, breathe deeply and go for short walks. get some sun, and relax. you are a nice person just very young. so do what i say for now. later on, things will be very obvious to you. just relax and take care, you will never regret this and can be proud you did everything you could for your baby. just take care.
2007-07-18 05:23:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You both live in separate houses even though you're married?
Sounds like it was too early to take the plunge. Got married because you got pregnant?
Are you a glutton for punishment? Sounds like you enjoy being miserable.
Stand up for yourself. What do you deserve in this life? Figure that out and then don't ever settle for less. If that means you want a guy who treats you with respect, then don't settle for someone who doesn't.
Don't excuse him because you don't think he had sex. You are newly married and pregnant; there is no where else he should be but by your side.
2007-07-18 05:12:32 · answer #7 · answered by KV 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unusual and rare situation. However, if you really love him, be patient, if you have been together for almost 5 years, he must love you as well. Give him some time to think life over. You are carrying his child, a apart of him, and he recognizes that. Remind him that you love him and care for him and that you will wait for him. Do not worry too much, stress is not healthy during pregnancy, get involved with hobbies and doing things you enjoy, to get your mind of the situation and care about the child you are carrying. You sound like a great wife and you will be a great mother as well.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
2007-07-18 05:13:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I really think you need to focus on your coming baby and let the grown man acting like a baby go.
You alone cannot save this marriage.
I am sorry but getting married because you are pregnant and the fact you don't even live together is a very bad set up...my gosh, you cannot even support yourselves and you are having a baby?!?!?!?!?!?
2007-07-18 05:10:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you are working harder than him, and i applaud you for that but also, I think you are being a little naive about him having anything to do with that other girl, I mean come on let's be realistic, why wouldnt he have sex with her, and why now, is he not trying to have sex with you. Some men are become really different when their wives are pregnant, and they act differently, he might be scared, but ask him to talk to you about it, and let him know that you are bothered by a lot of the things he does.
2007-07-18 05:10:14 · answer #10 · answered by doo doo head 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋