I have a problem with my husband, and I'm not sure if it's a real problem or just something in my head. I have been married for almost ten years, have two daughters. I may not be gorgeous, but I think I am attractive. I'm 32 years old but most people say I look younger. Size six, sometimes four, red, medium length hair, fair skin. I am not a health freak but I take care of myself as much as I can. My husband often calls me "HOT" and says I'm sexy - that is not a problem but he never, EVER says I'm beautiful. Not even pretty. I feel like a piece of meat, not a wife. Do you guys think this is a sign something else is wrong or can you give me the male point of view on this? Am I just over-sensitive? THANKS.
2007-07-18 04:52:29 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am sorry to say this if it sounds bad, but I think your husband adores you and you are over reacting. He obviously uses a different set of vocabulary. It seems from what you say that he loves you and finds you attractive. Enjoy it !!!
2007-07-18 04:56:58 · answer #1 · answered by YouWishYouWereMe 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
If he is calling you hot and sexy, you are all that and a bag of chips. Beautiful is not a guy word. I think you are too sensitive. He should know how you feel in a positive way but I think you are just fine.
By the way at 32 after two kind size 6 is something to be proud of!!!
2007-07-18 12:05:19 · answer #2 · answered by Willie J 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you're freaking out over nothing more than semantics.
You guys have 10 years and 2 daughters behind you, if it bothers you that much, then it's time to have a major sit down so this doesn't bug you for the next 10 years....
I don't see a difference really between telling my girlfriend that she is hot, sexy or beautiful and neither does she.
2007-07-18 11:59:24 · answer #3 · answered by Michael H 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok I am not a male, but I can really relate. I recently lost a ton of weight, and compliments come from all over about my appearance. Females and males alike, and I honestly think I look pretty darn good. Do you think I could get a compliment out of my husband, no way. Sex has always been good, never had a problem with feeling sexy around him, and he always tells me how much he loves me, but never a wow you look good. I would say things like does this look ok, and he would say yeah I like you in short shorts. so I would say why didn't you say something, he would respond with you didn't ask. So finally one day I asked him why he just couldn't give me a compliment about my appearance without me having to ask for one, and he said because I love you, I of course I asked whats that got to do with it. I love you, it really doesn't matter what you look like. I of course was confused. so he eloborated, I loved you when I married you, I loved you when you gained the weight, I loved you when you lost the weight, I will love you in 10 years, 20 years. I will love you when your old wrinkly and gray.
Hope that helps.
2007-07-18 12:10:48 · answer #4 · answered by jlcjills 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok, I'm not a guy, but I've dated enough guys like this to know... to guys, "beautiful" is what you'd call a flower or a nice painting, "hot" and "sexy" are what you would call an extremely attractive woman. He thinks you're beautiful... it's just not really a part of his vocabulary. I do the same thing with my husband. He's very handsome, but to me, "handsome" sounds like something my grandma would call him (in fact, she HAS called him that.) Instead, I tell him he's hot, and he says the same about me.
2007-07-18 11:57:34 · answer #5 · answered by greeneyes_bjb 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For most men, after they are married we seem to forget saying certain things as we are married now and whats the use? We also seem to forget how emotional a woman is and that they rely on being told what we think of her. In your case, I would imagine that your husband is thinking that his description of "HOT" may be enough for you. Why not set him down the next time and ask him what he is meaning? I would wager that "his" meaning and your "needs of certain words" are actually the same meaning but to two different people. Good luck.
2007-07-18 12:01:58 · answer #6 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You say tomatoe, he says tomato.
Sheesh, get over yourself already!
You do remember he is a man, right?
At least he does not put you on some pedestal and think of you like a Madonna and not want to get down and dirty! How would you like to be called beautiful all the time with no passion in your marriage?
2007-07-18 12:00:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Take the compliments as they come. If he finds you sexy, that to me is as good as saying you’re beautiful...it's all a matter of interpretation. And try reciprocating (or in your case demonstrating). In other words, tell him HE'S handsome or gorgeous or whatever. As a last resort, try treating HIM like a piece of meat and see how HE likes it.
2007-07-18 11:57:36 · answer #8 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry I'm a woman and answering but I've been through it so I'll just tell you that it's in your head. You're hot and you know it! Talk to your husband. I know it sounds dumb but you can even ask him if he thinks you're pretty or beautiful.
2007-07-18 12:02:28 · answer #9 · answered by Blue Love Aura 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not over-sensitive, overly analytical.
He likes your looks, enough said. Interpretation is a personal point of view. He probably doesn't think it means anything different. Different people mean different things. Don't worry about it, accept the compliment that's it.
2007-07-18 11:58:34 · answer #10 · answered by chaoss13 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋