All we do is argue, we argue over everything and honestly i'm fed up with it. He's nice to me when he wants something and that's it. I just don't know what to do anymore, it's really frustrating. He leaves every night to go hang out with his friends while i stay home with our 14 month old son as i do 24/7. I don't get to go hang out with my friends or even go to the store by myself. Any ideas??
2007-07-18 04:41:44 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It really sounds like your husband is an ******, sorry no offense but he sounds like a jerk. I had this problem with my husband right after my twins were born..... he worked all day and then went straight to his friends house. I would start to worry when it got late and call his friend's house and there he was.... he wouldn't even call me!! So I left his a** Then he did a total about face..... we got back together and have been happy ever since..... 7 years ago... sometimes they need to see what they have by losing it. sometimes though, they don't care if they lose it.... but either way, is it really worth it to you to have to raise both him and your baby?
2007-07-18 04:51:59 · answer #1 · answered by erin_foss8191@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are three sides to every story. His, hers, and the truth. Based on the little info I have heard the truth might be something like this. You are stuck home all the time, you need some you time, and you need some couple time. Baby has taken over everything. Because you resent the position your in you are taking it out on him. He doesn't like it so he doesn't come home. The fact that he is nice to you for sex is a sign that he still has feelings for you. I suggest you ask for a few hours of his time. Get a babysitter, and spend an evening or afternoon together, no accusations, nothing bad brought up, just have fun and hang out. Get to know each other again. After that is accomplished tell him how you feel, and I don't mean tell him all the bad things about him. I mean tell him you feel so trapped, you feel so alone, and you need to breathe once in a while.
Good luck, and remember your son is a gift from god, and a challenge that you accepted, but don't let go of yourself and don't blame others.
2007-07-18 11:54:29 · answer #2 · answered by jlcjills 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like the dynamics of your relationship are based on his satisfaction. If by acting sweet and nice to you every time he wants something it probably means he's gotten away with this act in the past. Try and stop his vicious circle. You're tending to answer to each other in a defensive manner, this is where you have to put a stop because you are not developing the necessary communication skills needed to achieve compromise. It's give and take, try sitting down and having a talk were you are both able to express your feelings and worries. Try and come up together with solutions to your problems. Good Luck!
2007-07-18 11:51:09 · answer #3 · answered by onlinetherapist.com 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I so know what your talking about. Men can be such morons. And why is it that when they take care of the child they are "babysitting" Hello, its your kid too. I would tell him that I want equal time. We all need out once in awhile and especially if your home with the baby 24/7. Designate a night that would be good for you to go with your friends and have fun as well. As far as him being an *** to you. Tell him what he's doing and tell him that will not be tolerated. If you don't stop his selfish behavior now, it will be way out of line before you know it.
Hope I helped.
2007-07-18 11:47:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to put your foot down and tell him you aren't trying to be a nag or a b*#@! or anything, you just want him to understand for a moment where you are coming from. Start with the fact that you aren't happy with how much time he spends out with friends and you would like ONE night to yourself a week and ONE night together on the weekend (with or without baby). Put your foot down about this. Don't withhold sex, but tell him you would want sex a hell of alot more if he would do this for you. If he respects you and does this, you will respect him more. Hope he can do this for you and your family.
2007-07-18 12:18:18 · answer #5 · answered by funone0928 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll give you 2 options, you decide -
Option 1 - Divorce him now and get on with you life while you are young.
Option 2 - Stay with him. Talk about your feelings. Hope he will change. Lose you self-respect and motivation. Get accustomed to the abuse. Then in 5-10 years divorce him and be too old and beat down to enjoy life.
He's an assh0le. He isn't going to change. And, the more you let him treat you bad, the more he will do it.
2007-07-18 12:30:08 · answer #6 · answered by Answer Man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a child! You need to set boundaries for yourself and stick to them. He should be allowed to enjoy some alone time with his friends but so should you. You also need to be sure that the two of you are having date night at least once a month. Sit down and try to compromise with him. Tell him that you are ok with him spending time with friends, but he needs to limit it to 2-3 times a month and that you also need time with your friends. Make plans to go out ASAP. Tell him that he has to be home that night to watch his child.
If he isn't willing to compromise, then you need to decide whether you want to be in this type of relationship. Try not to argue with him. It gets you nowhere but angry and that is no way to live your life!
Good luck to you!
2007-07-18 11:57:44 · answer #7 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's selfish and manipulative. Time to have a serious talk about what is and is not acceptable to you in this marriage partnership. Only you can decide if this is the way you want to continue living or if you want to change it.
Make plans to go out with your friends where he watches the kids.
2007-07-18 11:51:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to marriage counseling. If he doesn't want to, tell him that you're looking to get a divorce because of the way he's treating you. If he doesn't shape up then, maybe he's not worth it afterall. Find some comfort with family and friends.
2007-07-18 11:45:58 · answer #9 · answered by scoobydoo316316 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think in psychology this is a sign of the "four horsemen" in a marriage that's in trouble, and you see each other with a "negative set point".
Find a GOOD counselor and see if you can save your marriage. I'm guessing he's frustrated as well.
2007-07-18 14:20:39 · answer #10 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋