Question for the guys out there.....?

Question

recently a man asked me what I needed to be ultimately pleasured...
so I told him in explicit and definite terms exactly what I, and I think most women, need to be ultimately pleasured, which includes more of a verbal than actual physical stimulation. He proceeded to say that what I said seemed too manipulative for his taste. So, tell me, why does a man want to "manipulate" a woman's body to the max and balks at "manipulating" her mind, when she even tells him that is what she needs? I suspect it is because this particular man was rather young....but I am not sure. Any opinon guys?

I do not and will never lump ALL men in one category, if you will read the question, I asked why "A" man will ....... Not why "all" men will......
I appreciate so much all the opinions shared, and I have renewed faith that a good many men (no not all men) do understand that a woman doesn't have an on/off switch.

Answer 1

A lot of guys just need some nice eye candy and we are good.
Women on the other hand need to be stimulated mentally first then physically second, and I totally understand that. It may have taken me a few years to get it, but now I get it. Men on the other hand can have sex with someone we hate. That is just our nature. It's just a lot easier for us to get in the mood. A guy could have two broken arms a concussion and the flu and still want sex. One of my exs explained it to me like this.... It's kinda like cooking. You have to heat up the oven before you can put in the meat. Also you have to make a woman feel loved if you want to keep her happy in and out of the bedroom. This means being kind to her and listening to her needs and basically just keeping her happy.

Answer 2

Manipulation is a poor word choice. I think arousal is better. For most people, arousal is a combination of physical, mental and emotional stimuli. There is also an element of mystery in arousal. While communication is important, arousal is not something you necessarily order like a Starbuck's half-caf, soy, extra foam, two Splendas latte. I also think that is a bit limiting to describe the "ultimate" pleasure. This removes the creative and instinctive participation of your partner. It also suggest you know what the ultimate is and precludes the possibility of a "higher high."

What most men want is to satisfy an intimate partner... and they want a partner who wishes to satisfy them. Despite public opinion, I think most people are inherently giving in intimate relations... and the challenge is for both people to have a little selfish streak.

Here's my suggestion... let the search for arousal be a shared journey rather than a dictation of terms. You might redefine ultimate.

Answer 3

I have to say that it is dependent on the guy. It sounds like the guy you are talking about is a total loser. I have no problems with doing what my Partner asks me to do. Wither talking to her or something else, use your imagination here, we believe in communication.
A note about your choice of wording. Not all guys are, or should be, lumped into the same category just because you had a bad experience. If you don't like the dude, dump him and find someone else who is better suited to you and your needs.
Remember, all relationships, wither romantic, platonic, or otherwise, are built on the same three things, Trust, Communication, and Compromise.
If you don't think you can handle all three, maybe you need to mature a little.
Another thing, I think that it's time to revoke dimwit's Guy Card. Not wanting to manipulate a woman's mind and body? Especially at her Request? What the Frak was he thinking????
Sorry about the ranting, this is a touchy subject with me.

Answer 4

Men find it difficult to "manipulate" the minds of women. We don't usually understand thier thought process and the route the get from here to there with their thinking. It is easier for us to understand the mechanical process..the touch here and nibble this ....not that it isn't worth the effort to "manipulate" your intellect, it just isn't easy, and if it goes wrong, it goes very wrong, leaving us in a much worse position than when we started. A single word or wrong inflection of a word could spiral the whole thing into an argument. Anyway, hope you do find someone that can "manipulate" your mind the way you desire. (PS, I really don't like the using the word manipulate in this case since it conjures images of being sleazy and underhanded)

Answer 5

Well... Most men want only a physical relationship, not one for the mind. He wanted to "love" you with his body, wanted to find out what you wanted, so he could do it. He saying that you were "too manipulative" was he saying that he knew it was going to take more work to get into your bed. There are men out there that really do care about your brains and not your boobs, but they might not be the young guys straight out of "frat boy training".

Answer 6

You have just put yourself into the category of a 'Sexist' . You took ONE MAN's answer and response and then defined it to be for ALL MEN.

Don't do that. Just because one guy doesn't want to do that for you (to you) then don't believe that all men are like that. We are not.

Keep looking and keep asking. There ARE men out there who will be what you want. YOu just need to be sure that YOU are what they want at the same time.

Edit: yes, you said "A" man, but your use of the term did not refer to "THIS" man, or "THE" man in your question, thus again stating that "A" man within the group of men not mentioned above would have this thought process.

Yes, perhaps I also had a knee jerk reaction to this. So many women it seems tend to lump men into one group defined by the worst behaviour of one. The media is rife with examples (TV commercials especially) of men who are dull witted, stupid and much less than the woman in the same commercial. It's a pandemic of another problematic essay of problems dealt with by stereotyping. Those of us who are KNOWN to be outside that group, tend to quickly react when it even 'appears' that we are being grouped. Mea culpa.

Answer 7

your right young men wam bam thank you mam old men say to wife a lot of men have good wives but you are the best of them all and i love you and i know for on switch includes dirty dishes and garbage disposal and then some back scratching opps to much. info luv dad cheeck out www.laughyourway.com www.mark gungur.combrains what woman want and whats on a mens mind but i hear you it takes love dishes dinner flowers and words

Answer 8

I agree with you. True pleasure lies in mental preparation for the untlimate climax in physical pleasures! The whole act will be lacklustre without the input of both. No wonder true pleasure is either absent or short-lived in the life of adventure-seeking youngsters!

Answer 9

it depends from man to man, some are more into the visual side of things, so are more into the mental side of things.

all men want to f*** someone, whether the partner is male of female, but some play with your mind, others play with your body :P

Answer 10

ahhh...when you have a warm wet and wonderful place for their brain to relax in...do you think that they can be interested in anything else...

the way i see men is that everything about the relationship with women is about your wet hole...they are tolerant of everything '''woman'' only cause at the end of the day they may have a chance at your wet hole...if it wasnt for that...men would have nothing to do with women, and sometimes i cant say i blame them...