My 12 year old daughter can't fall asleep til almost midnight then sleeps til 9:30 or later; what can I do?

Question

She has been telling me she can't get to sleep but the problem has been getting worse. During the school year it was not uncommon for her to fall asleep around 10, but now that she doesn't have to wake up she will stay in bed til at least 9:30. She'll wake up if I go sit on the bed and prod her and talk to her but doesn't want to really get out of bed.

It doesn't seem to be affecting her mood or anything else - she's actually not that grumpy, it's as if she's getting a good amount of sleep. It just feels weird having her sleep so late, and I don't like to stay up that late but I don't want her to be up by herself.

Has anyone else had this problem? Any ideas?

Answer 1

i have this problem and i am 12 too i have no idea how to fix it. but two nights ago i stayed up till 2 and my little sisters woke me up at 8 and i pretty much stayed up all night again. thats even with 2 hours of swimming and 2 hours of shopping.

Answer 2

Yes, my 10 year old also has problems falling asleep. Lately they (I have 2) want to stay up until midnight. I put a stop to that after a few days. Like yours, they'd sleep til 9:30. Then I had them go to bed at 11:00 for a few days and still they slept til 9. Plus, they stay up and watch tv while my husband and I went to bed. I didn't like the idea of that. I know the stuff that's on at that hour. Just a few days ago, I told them that this can't go on anymore. From now on they have to be in bed by 10. They complain about not being able to fall asleep at night. Blah , blah, blah. I wake them up at 8, since it's summer. Now they're in a routine again where they wake up at 8 on their own. Yeah, they lay awake for 1/2 and hour sometimes. Oh well. I remember laying awaking being unable to sleep as a kid too. Now, I allow them to stay up til midnight on fridays and saturdays. But they don't watch tv. A chosen movie, ok, something else quiet, ok. On sunday night, because they stayed up so late over the weekend, they are really tired sunday night, and don't mind going to bed at 10. Oh, saturday and sunday morning, right around 8:30 or 9:00 am, I steam my tea water, accidentally slam some doors, make my phone ring with my cell phone...;-) Sorry, is that mean? Anyway, they wake up and by the time the weekend is over, voila, they want to go to sleep. Hope that helps...

Answer 3

Believe me, I have the same problem. During teen years, the body's natural melatonin doesn't release until 11-12 at night. Because of this, she don't get tired till late, and doesn't want to wake up. During the summer or weekends, let her do it. It's what feels natural to her body. On school days, try taking a melatonin the night before (you can find these at drug stores). This will help her fall asleep within a half hour of taking it.

Answer 4

Yes, definitely. I was a young, single mother, but I realized the importance of a routine bedtime. This was especially necessary because in my profession, teaching, we have to get up so much earlier than other people. I have to be at school when the kids arrive. My son does not have the luxury of sleeping in late. He is 13 and his bed time is still 9:30. It was 9:00 for years, but it was seemingly embarrassing when others found out. On the weekends, he can stay up later. Early on, my pet peeve was getting a note from his teacher about falling asleep in class. After 13 years, it probably hasn't happened more than twice. Try 9:00 at first. If you don't see an improvement, go with 8:30. Explain to her that the bedtime does not mean brush your teeth, put on your pajamas, and get ready for bed. It means, light out at that exact time.

Answer 5

Yes it is very common. Children at her age going through the changes of life, start showing signs of their bodies adjusting.

Try starting bedtime a little earlier. Make sure to limit her caffeine and stimulation when you start her going to bed. Try a hot bath some warm milk and some soothing music. That way i will set her up to getting into a routine which cant hurt anyone.

I normally have trouble falling asleep so I do a hot shower some hot chocolate soothing music an read a book and I am asleep before you know it, Starting this earlier in the evening at 8 or 9 will help her get to bed.

This part of the summer is probably ok for that and maybe by school she will grow out of it, if not 3 weeks before school starts back I would get her on this routine so that you don't have so much trouble getting her to bed and awake for school in the morning!!

Best of luck to you and her!

Answer 6

She's getting to be a teenager. Sleep patterns change in teenage years. It's pretty typical for a teenager to not be able to fall asleep later and then sleep later in the morning. Since it's summer and there's no school, I don't see a problem in it. But at least a couple weeks before school starts again, have her go to bed earlier and get up earlier. But do this a little bit at a time. Say her bedtime is 10pm and she is supposed to get up at 6am. For a few days have her go to bed at 11:30 and wake up at 9:00. After that, have her go to bed at 11pm and wake up at 8:30. Just keep working backwards like that every few days so her body becomes adjusted to a school schedule.

As for her being up by herself, set some limits. No going outside, no having friends over late (unless they're spending the night). She can only do quiet things from the time you go to bed to when she goes to bed. No phone calls, no loud music (if she wants to listen to music, suggest she use earphones), television if the volume is kept down (and tell her what is and isn't appropriate to watch) or suggest that she read, draw, etc.

I know you said you don't like her being up so late by herself, but this offers her a little bit of independence (within the safety of your home) and allows her a way to have some responsibility. If you get up to go to the bathroom during the night, just check in on her to see what she's doing...that's what my parents would do with me when I was her age. Hope this helps!

Answer 7

During the summer, I don't see the problem with sleeping till 9:30. Especially for a kid. My 5yr old sleeps till 10:30. But... during the school year that came be bad. Don't put her on sleep medications!! Drugging your kid up won't solve anything. That will definitly alter her mood. My advice would be to make her be in bed at 7:00 (during the school year) and she'll start trying to go to sleep. Put on a disc of relaxing sounds. When I was littler, I had a clock in my room and it made me sooo paranoid about when I went to bed. Take out the clocks and put on the CDs. Get her some extra comfy pillows from Linens n Things and a really soft thick comforter from Costco or Linens n Things. Turn up the AC b/c then she'll use her blanket and it will make her go to sleep faster. Close the curtains to make it darker. Get rid of all loud sounds from outside. if you have any more trouble, PLEASE do not put her on any medication!! Please!!

Answer 8

I can't fall asleep until at least 11:00 and I sleep untill 10 or 10:30... It's not uncommon. That's what kids do in the summer- they sleep in. But if it's getting in the way of her chores and things she has to do and go to, then you might try a sleeping aid.

Answer 9

i am 11 turning 12 this august and i have the same problem each nite i cant sleep until itz 100:30 or later even if i go to bed early then in the morning i dont wake up til 9. i used to be able to sleep 5 minutes after i got into bed and wake up at 6:00 am but now i cant. and i am wondering y to. maybe itz that we no that we dont have to get up early anymore so we sleep late and get up late. i hope this helps

Answer 10

It could be because the sun is setting later. Or that it's summer and she doesn't have to get up for school or anything, so she's enjoying the summer. When I was 12, my parents still told me when I needed to go to bed and I didn't have a tv in my room or anything to keep me awake. Reading before bed helps to fall asleep. You could always wake her up at 8 am or whenever every morning and eventually she'll start going to bed earlier.

Answer 11

lol, I fall asleep at 5:00 A.M. and wake up at 1:00 or 2:00 P.M.! I am really screwed up. Just make her take a sleeping pill at, like, 9:00 P.M. and she will wake up when she has had enough sleep (most likely much earlier). This should get her back on track. If she gets off-track by staying up late again, use a sleeping pill like before. I have the same problem. I would recommend a over-the-counter sleeping pill like Simply Sleep by Tylenol. Don't use them too often, or the effectiveness wears off. Best of luck.