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I am a father of two, well to do professionally and financially. Recently i learned that my wife has a very intimate relationship with my cousin. I checked her phone records without her knowledge to confirm, and it is true. my cousin visits my house when i am away. what should i do?

2007-07-18 04:19:46 · 20 answers · asked by skandel9 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

20 answers

I don't believe this is incest. Incest is defined as "sexual relations between persons too closely related to be legally married". Your wife is not blood related to your cousin. What you do have on your hands is infidelity, whether it's emotional, physical, or both. I went through this, it sucks, and there is no easy way to deal with it. "Kicking her to the curb" as suggested by your other repliers is not necessarily the answer as it would destroy your family and drag your kids through the ringer. As hindsight is 20/20, I see that I could have handled my situation differently so I suggest the following with best intentions in mind: Confront your wife in a civil manner and tell her you're aware of what she is doing. Let her talk. I believe women cheat because they are trying to fill a void that is missing in their marriage. Ask her WHY and try to get to the root of the problem. It will be most beneficial for you both to attend counseling, either separately or together. Don't jump the gun on divorce but give time and space to overcome this crisis. Many couples survive infidelity and keep their families together. Although it may not be your solution, it is worth a try for all involved to get through this terrible ordeal. Allow your marriage to heal and if all attempts fail, you'll have no regrets if you decide to end it. As far as your cousin goes, confront him about his betrayal as well. Lay it out on the table and communicate. Don't allow either one of them to play victim.. it's you who has been deceived. But ultimately you just may be the one who holds it all together. Find support in any way you can and always be the bigger person. Best wishes to you.

2007-07-18 04:42:21 · answer #1 · answered by ThatGirl 3 · 0 0

yeah, no incest involved. But definitely an issue for you and your wife. I would let your wife know of your concerns 1st. then take it from there. If there is a relationship between her and your cousin it is going to be a difficult situation for the whole family I think. But if so, hold your head high, you are not the one causing the problem

2007-07-18 04:26:34 · answer #2 · answered by just me #1 5 · 0 0

If your wife is having "a very intimate relationship" with your cousin, it is not incest - it is cheating.

Incest would be if she were having this relationship with one of her family members - not yours.

Your wife is cheating on you with your cousin - what to do about that is your's to answer.

2007-07-18 04:24:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

i don't understand why you may decide for in spite of if to tell the parents or not or the variety you even understand that the two are having intercourse. At 17, it is not likely that the parents are going to have the skill to provide up them from persevering with their relationship after all. Brothers and sisters can and do have healthy little ones collectively. greater people who we see daily are certainly the made from a brother-sister union than everyone suspects. the possibility element in straightforward terms will boost if there are genetic matters in the kin already, or if successive generations work together in incest (as in the "kin" on the "X-records"). A brother and sister in Wisconsin have been separated at delivery, got here across one yet another later without understanding they have been siblings, married, and had 0.5 a dozen healthy little ones collectively. without genetic checking out, inspite of the indisputable fact that, there is not any thank you to be certain the possibility. As for it being a "organic element in any kin", no, of direction not. kin growing to be up collectively oftentimes variety a psychological bond that forestalls them from having any actual charm to a minimum of one yet another. notwithstanding, each and every now and then the bond does not variety, or some adventure breaks it. If the bond isn't there, for in spite of reason, then there is not something to stay away from them from being attracted to a minimum of one yet another purely like each and every 2 human beings. The bond has a tendency to be maximum effectual between be certain and newborn, weaker between opposite intercourse siblings, weakest between same intercourse siblings, oftentimes non-existent between cousins. i assume on the least you may inspire the twins to apply delivery administration till they could be examined for available genetic risks.

2016-09-30 06:19:08 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

This doesn't qualify as incest, but it could be infidelity. Although, how can you be certain? Perhaps they are just friends. Why don't you just confront her about it, and ask her what is going on. Men and women can be friends, especially if they are part of the same family, without there being a sexual/romantic relationship.

2007-07-18 04:27:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

That isn't incest. That is just cheating.
You have 3 choices.
1. Ignore it.
2. Seek marital therapy and try to save the marriage.
3. Divorce.

2007-07-18 04:31:31 · answer #6 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0 0

Being that your wife has no blood relation with YOUR cousin, it's more like adultery than incest. I would confront her and tell her if this is going to continue so you can separate and move on.

2007-07-18 04:24:18 · answer #7 · answered by This, That & such 5 · 0 0

Invite each of them to lunch without telling the other, and confront them over the salad course. Your simple-minded wife will be put horribly on the spot and this will be the only legal revenge you can receive. Tell them both your marriage is over, and walk out. You will leave them stunned.

2007-07-18 04:32:47 · answer #8 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 0 0

let her know you're aware of the relationship.

this isn't incest, YOUR cousin isn't a blood relative of your wife, by the way.

depending upon what your wife wants to do after you confront her, you'll both have to decide whether to work it out, or let it go...

for me -- i'd leave her.

if i suddenly find myself interested in someone else, and am in a marriage or relationship, i will let my S/O know i'm leaving... i can't go there with the cheating.

2007-07-18 04:27:05 · answer #9 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0 0

Confront her about, stay calm and show her your proof. After all your questions are asked, confront him. Hopefully he isn't breaking up your family. Good luck my friend, you seem like a nice guy so you shouldn't be put though any scandalous behavior from your own wife or close family members.

2007-07-18 04:44:05 · answer #10 · answered by SHOOTER 2 · 0 0

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