I was raped when i was like three or four or five and my husband all of a sudden thinks he should tell my family. The person that raped me was a fmaily member......a cousin that no one talk to anymore. I'm over it, i've been over it. But out of nowhere my husband thinks he has the right to ell my family. He is threatening me that he is going to tell! I am so upset right now. I don't think he has that right. What do you guys think? And the rape doens't effect me sexually at all......trust me. Or mentally.
2007-07-18 03:51:23 · 23 answers · asked by Queen_of_Nice 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Another thing the cousin that did this to me bounces back from england to african and we live inthe us so does my mother and father. So it's not like we see him. Or call or anything
2007-07-18 04:02:43 · update #1
your husband should mind his own business.
2007-07-18 03:54:58 · answer #1 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 5⤊ 2⤋
She should report the rape to the authorities. It's hard to admit that this happened to you, I understand, but reporting the rape can prevent future rapes by the same person later. And encourage your friend to get an exam as soon as possible -- they might be able to find some evidence. She should go to an emergency room. If she won't report the rape, you do it. Stop the crime cycle.
2016-05-21 18:19:05 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with what almost everyone else has said:
YOUR HUSBAND LOVES YOU! He has every right to let your family know.He wants to see some kind of justice done.
You may think that you are passed it. If you truelly were you would have never told your husband in the first place.What r u truelly afraid of anyway?
Family member or not the scum bag deserves to have your family know what a pig he is. How can you live with yourself knowing he got away with this? YOU WERE JUST A CHILD FOR GODSAKES!! For all you know he has done it to others as well possibly even recently and deserves to be imprisoned for the rest of his miserable life!!
2007-07-18 07:14:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You may not think that it effects you, but it does. You are so upset now because your dark secret is threatened. Hon, you were a child. This person took advantage. Telling your family could prevent this SOB from raping another child! This is not only a crime, a crime that was forced upon you, but a threat to others' safety.
Your husband has no right to threaten you. But he IS right in wanting others to know. He is pissed that this piece of human filth hurt you.
This creep that raped you should NOT be allowed to get off scot free.
2007-07-18 04:36:50 · answer #4 · answered by dark_amaranth 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell your husband that you told him what you did in confidence and that it was never your intent that it be shared with anyone else. Tell him that you have trusted him with this information and if he does tell anyone, he will be violating that trust and he will forever prove to you that you can not trust him with your most intimate thoughts, experiences, problems or issues for fear that down the road he will tell them to someone else.
If that does not slow him down and it still appears that he is going to say something, you can tell him that if he does, you will just look at him like he has lost his mind and deny ever telling him anything of the sort. Then he will have to try and convince people of something that you will not validate. He would just look like a fool to your family. If he will not back off because of the trust and confidentiality you placed in him, let him know up front it will be his word against your word and you do not want to do that, but if he forces your hand, you will have no choice.
2007-07-18 04:00:57 · answer #5 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
NAVYGIRL,
Wow well first of all I am truly sorry to hear that you had to endure that at such a young age and that you went through it alone. I think you should do what ever you feel comfortable with doing you should tell your husband how you feel and let him know that you have your own way of dealing with it. I am actually in shock that he is being some demanding of something that you had to deal with all these years and that you have been able to put behind you. I would tell him you appreciate his concern but that you would like him to respect your decision on not opening up a old wound. Good luck shug!
2007-07-18 04:14:59 · answer #6 · answered by Blaqchinah Violation Queen 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Although you might think it does not affect you, does your hubby? Is that why he wants to tell? I just don't understand when you say he is "threatening" you know, like holding you hostage with information about your OWN life! Did you make him mad and this is his immature and unhealthy way of getting back at you?
This could create some SERIOUS trust issues, I mean I am sure you are starting to look at your hubby like a total jerk?
Seriously, I have to say if I was you and he DID it...I would divorce. Just him saying he will tell shows he has little to no respect for your feelings.
2007-07-18 03:58:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It seems like he has the best of intentions but if you do not need /want him to bring it up than it is not his place to say anything and he should respect your wishes for him not to dig up the past. If it truly does not bother you than he has no reason to tell anybody about it. Honestly what does he think he will accomplish by doing this? You cannot change the past. There is nothing good or bad that will come out of this other than other peoples awareness and grief that it happened to you.
2007-07-18 03:59:35 · answer #8 · answered by ~NIKKI~ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear Navygirl,
Your husband has NO right to expose your private matters to anyone, including your family. Sit him down and tell him that if he cannot keep his trap shut, you will feel entitled to ask for a divorce. If he is this stupid in how delicate matters should be handled, he is not someone with whom you need to spend the rest of your life. You will be bailing him out of more and more problems his big mouth has gotten him into for as long as you are married.
Good luck, sweetie, you'll prevail. :)
2007-07-18 03:59:47 · answer #9 · answered by Peanut 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You know what, God forgive me, but if I were your husband and I had to look at the sick **** that did that to you at 3/4 or 5, he may be missing in action. That made me sick -- I'm 44 and I have a 15 year old daughter and the thought of someone doing that to her and living to tell about it. . .. . whew. . but somethings need to be uncovered, you never know you may be saving someone else by bringing this to light, what if he's still doing that to other children in the family, think outside the box, a pedophile is a pedophile, he needs to be exposed. .
2007-07-18 03:58:42 · answer #10 · answered by Cris 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that I agree that he does not have the right to tell your family.
However, I do think that your family would like to know. If he has done it to you, he has a mental problem and he is probably doing it to other little girls, dont you wanna stop that?
Think about it this way, if it was your child who was raped, wouldnt you like to know?
It is very good that you have recovered and have a normal life, a lot of people do not recover.
Good Luck.
2007-07-18 03:58:20 · answer #11 · answered by Dimitar A 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋