What can i do to help my mother? She wont get out!, please answer this only if you can relate.?

Question

This question is about my mother. Please keep in mind there is alot of factor weighed in this situation its just that i only have 1000 characters...My mother has been married 2 mr. X 413 years now. 6 yrs in OH (togthr), & remain n FL (Seperatly) the reason 4 their part was he is emotionally physically and sexually abusive.to sum it all up he cheated w/ a prostitute he told her about it laughed n her face. she left that night got drunk & slept with a co-worker of hers, wen she moved 2 fl. she was found pregnant.thought it was mr. X now he wnt leave her alone. he has all financial stablility hes giving her. but hes abusive. she is in love with Mr. Co-W./ he is nice. he moved to fl to anounce his love for her. turns out my lil sis is Mr. Co-W. not Mr. X. now he is going crazy & wnt leave my mom alne. he torturing her! & wnt gve her a divorce, he tries to kidnap my lil sis. i clld the police, i cnt do nthng they said my ma has 2 cll hrslf 2 report it, but she wnt cll. but i cnt stand aside

I am turning 21 in September.

Answer 1

this is a choice your mother has to make. you can't make it for her. legally, because your mother is still married to this man, the child is his. it's based on law, not paternity. as far as the way he treats her, she can be granted a divorce without his consent. it's called a divorce with grounds. he doesn't have to agree with this, as long as the court finds she has grounds for divorce. if he is still supporting her even though they are separated, he would probably have to pay spousal support and child support (because the child was born during wedlock. check the laws for childbirth and paternity in your state. look for "adulterine bastard.") you can try to help your mom all you want but remember the old saying, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." talk to her, but let her make her own decisions.

Answer 2

OK. how old are you?

Your mother needs to hire a lawyer - or get one through public assistance.

This will take time but she can get a divorce even if Mr X doesn't want to "give" her one - It just takes time and patience.

She also needs to swear out a protection order against Mr. X. This should keep him at bay for a little while at least.

The police are correct. Your MOTHER has to do this - not you. You can take her to the station, take her to the lawyer, etc. but this will not go away until - and unless - your mother starts the ball rolling.

You mentioned that Mr. X is supporting her financially. That's a big reason she's not doing anything - fear of homelessness etc. Well, there are programs for people in her situation.

The thing is, if Mom goes into a women's shelter etc. then she's going to have to obey their rules - or leave. There are a lot of women who WILL play by the rules - so Mom has no choice but to also adhere to the rules.

And that includes counseling. She needs some heavy counseling on how to get away from this monster. BUT you can tear your hair out and jump up and down - and she may still not do it.

Answer 3

Okay, here is what you do. Your mother is an adult with a lot more experience than you who won't do anything to help herself. She acted like an immature spoiled child by sleeping with someone for revenge and getting pregnant. Your mother and your father are both in need of professional help, they are so dysfunctional. Get out of there before something bad happens to you. You cannot save people from themselves or from things they don't want to be saved from. You can stay in contact with your mom, just move out of that house! Best wishes for your security, safety and happiness.