My wife does not approve my habit of masturbation even though it does not come in any way of our relations. She is not ready to approach any counsellor either to discuss this. She does not think its required. I generally do it when she is in her monthly cycle to make sure I am always available when required. Still, she starts shouting when I am indulging calling me cheater etc. I have no relations outside marriage and she knows it very well. Please help me...
I donot know how women thinks but when I read on internet about it, everyone talks about being very healthy habit but reality seems to be contrary.
2007-07-18 01:40:24 · 28 answers · asked by Jim C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
if it is a problem for her remember you took the vow with her. you need to respect that she has issues with it and work with her on that issue. i can't ask you why you do it, that is your business. but since you asked, for some people it is a very moral issue and you needed to have discussed this before you got married. and most "experts" will tell you that it usually involves fantasy and most often that fantasy is not about your spouse. and like you stated....always available when required....so you have placed your own need above hers in the statement you just made. sex between is husband and wife should never be viewed as a requirement or a duty. and you take care of yourself in such a way that tells her you will only have sex with her just to temporarily take care of her, but then you don't really need her, you can take care of yourself. so you need to learn that she is capable of fulfilling you both and respect her for that. what a shame that you would waste your time just looking for physical gratification and not becoming truly intimate with the wife that you took your vows with.
2007-07-18 01:54:00 · answer #1 · answered by karakittle 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Dear friend, don´t tell her.
She is overacting and maybe it´s because she has been brought up in a very conservative way, where masturbation is regarded a crime against nature... are you Catholic???
Sex is not just the typical sexual intercourse, where the man lies on top of the woman.
What can you do? Well, as you said, there is no way to talk with her about that issue, just tell her you won´t do again and do it whenever she doesn´t watch you...
Or maybe you could confront her and try to do some different sexually satisfying things, just like oral sex or she could also masturbate you.
By the way, who says, that a woman can´t have sex during the monthly cycle? That’s an old housewives - tale.
You could use a condom (If you are afraid of getting in touch with the blood) and have normal sex. Why not??
I always do, there is no problem with that at all.
2007-07-18 11:53:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anita P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is why people should get couple's counseling BEFORE they get married. This is a conflict that can bring down a relationship (because it is a signal of bigger problems), and it should have been addressed before you two said "I do." Go ahead and just make an appointment with a marriage counselor, tell her you did, and ask her to go. If she won't go, then go yourself. Odds are if she knows you're going to go anyway, she'll go because she won't want you talking about her behind her back. If not, then it can still be a big help. A professional counselor will be able to help you to identify all your problems (I doubt this is the only one), and help you find constructive strategies for dealing with these problems. Either you'll have to work out a compromise, do it in secret, or you may just be married to the wrong person. Whatever the answer is, at least you'll know where you stand. Good luck!
2007-07-18 08:46:18 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some people have been raised to believe that masturbation is dirty and should be avoided at all costs. Why don't you involve her - it might change her mind. She may also feel that if you enjoy masturbation then maybe you will end up preferring it to penetrative sex with her. Talk to her, find out what the problem is and try to resolve it.
2007-07-18 14:57:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your spouse is possessive of you. You can have a better arrangement in the following manner:
1. Have a lot of actual love making
2. Ask her to masturbate you
3. Involve in intense foreplay to get an ejaculation without entering. Caress, rub, touch and do whatever you like
4. May think about oral & anal sex, though it is a bit awkward
I THINK YOU HAVE SOMETIMES TO LEARN TO SACRIFICE SOME OF YOUR DELIGHTS TO MAKE A MARRIAGE SUCCESSFUL AND FIND OUT MUTUALLY AGREEABLE WAYS OUT.
Good Luck!
2007-07-18 09:39:00 · answer #5 · answered by sharma.kulbhushan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is only ur mindset .faith comes from understanding.never shout on each other.it is not going to solve ur problem.why do u masterbate if ur wife is cooperative in sex.actually u need a counsellor not ur wife.do meditation and get rid of this habit.it is not bad but not good also.there are n no. of things to do for betterment of life .why u are wasting ur time in these silly things.be happy and let others feel happy.
2007-07-19 04:47:32 · answer #6 · answered by rajeev k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes its your fault as you do it yourself. Why dont you ask her to give a helping hand to you,thus you both will be participating in the act & she won't fell left out or cheated, just try understand what’s her real feeling about this she too want to participate in your fun & as you don't allow her she calls you cheat. So simple.
2007-07-18 08:56:00 · answer #7 · answered by vijay m Indian Lawyer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I feel for you. I believe we all need to masturbate even when we have partners. I'm lucky that mine gets turned on by the idea of me doing it and I'm fine with him doing it too...but as for you...I will say that if my bf was in the bathroom doing it while I was in bed waiting for him it would annoy me...when we are together, we share our fantasies...I'd rather him be in bed with me doing it while I hold him and talk to him than us in separate rooms! Just don't do it when she's around. Or, when she's got her period ask her to help you out with her mouth or hand...
good luck!
2007-07-18 08:47:23 · answer #8 · answered by angelalynnanne 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Masturbation isn't unhealthy at all.
However if she dislikes, next time when you masturbate, hold a picture of her in your hand or somewhere nearby. In a miracle, she may start liking this practise.
Happy God Luck......
2007-07-19 05:15:24 · answer #9 · answered by sin_anirban 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't want to go to counseling about there isn't much hope she'll ever change her mind about it-you can try encouraging her to do it but she'll probably tell you you're sick-most likely you'll have to get better at hiding it-try the shower ; )
2007-07-18 08:47:24 · answer #10 · answered by suan b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋