What's the cleverest or funniest answer you ever gave, that wasn't chosen for a Best Answer?

Question

I've thousands, naturally. But I still recall back when someone once posted, "Have you tried Hamburger Helper Singles yet?" and I replied that it sounded like some white trash dating service.

Answer 1

wow... a second chance....... mine was on a man versus women question.... my answer:

God may have made man in his own image, but woman he definitely made from a do-it-yourself kit. All those valves, buttons, nozzles, all that just for producing children, and half the time they don't work. Which is why he probably created gynecologists very shortly afterwards. There must be an easier way. He got it right with birds. They just lay eggs. And they're happy. They sing all day. There's just too many things that can go wrong with women. And that's the point. Woman was an accident. He was actually trying to design a car. Which is why his German one turned out to be fast and efficient, his Japanese one small and neat, and his American one big, noisy, and more temperamental than all the others.

ANOTHER ONE, ..... QUESTION:
have you ever seen the rubbish film where mel gibson can tell what women are thinking?... what if you could tell what women were thinking?

ANWSER;

i already have this power but on a smaller scale......... its kinda easy when you know how...... watch,

She says we need to talk
really means....... i need to complain

Do i look fat in this dress?
really means.... man we have not had a fight in ages

If she says, I'm sorry
it really means...........you'll be sorry

No darlin Pizza is fine
really means........you mean tight fisted slob

When she says "i see you more as a brother you are like my best friend"
It really means......... your an ugly son of a biotch, get to lay your hands on me?... not a freakin chance.....

when she says "No" this depends on the time and the tone and can mean,
a) yes
b) no
c) maybe
d) all of the above

lets go shopping !, she says.....
what she really means is "give me your credit card"

when she says "I'll be ready in 5 minutes"
that's, 5 mins for the lipstick, 5 mins for the foundation, another 5 to check her hair that she already spent an hour on, at least 5 mins to talk to her friend on the phone about what she is wearing, 5 mins to change top after advice of Friend, 5 minutes to put on mascara, 5 minutes to pull sexy faces in the mirror, five minutes to reapply lipstick...... so on and so on

Answer 2

Hmmmm... most recently I was rather proud of this one:

Q: How far would you go to earn ten points?

A: I'd machete my way through the Brazilian rain forest, hitch a ride across Columbia, bicycle up through Central America, jet-ski across the Gulf, hike the Appalachian trail, repel down from the statue of liberty, swim the Atlantic, backpack across the Sahara, wade across the Nile, teleport to the other side of the war zone, roller skate across India, and then after I summit Mt Everest.... wait a second.... ten "POINTS" you say?
Erm, how 'bout if I buy you a beer?

(The person who won said he'd lick the toilet seat in a public restroom, so I suppose I can understand.)

But the one that still annoys me all this time later is when you asked about the Death Star vs. The Starship Enterprise... and you DID give me best answer, but some meanie reported the question for an imaginary violation and the question was removed entirely =(.

Answer 3

Buk:
You wanna be on the Buk show. And I want you to be on the Buk show. Can you tell me......?
......something about yourself? A few sentences on you and why you want to be on the Buk show.
All guests of the Buk show will be fed and showered.
Not necessarily in that order.

my answer:
Oh please NOT ME! I like my seeming anonymity and invisibility, flying a little under the radar is probably all that has kept me from being deleted so far! Don't alert them to my brilliant presence! But I could use a shower anyway, if that's all right with you?

Answer 4

I've only been on this site for a few weeks. I had a goofball response to "sexiest US president" win. I chose Martin van Buren and his Planet of the apes sideburns, over more logical choices like JFK and Bill Clinton.

I haven't been here long enough to have a really funny/clever one lose---yet!

Answer 5

Oh hon...all of my answers deserve best answer. Every word that leaves my mouth or is typed by these blessed fingers is gold and ought to be recognized as such.
I hope you feel duly honored that I have deemed your question worthy of my attention.

You are welcome.

Answer 6

So many of my best answers are to questions that frickin' go into voting!!!!!

Recently (I have terrible long-term memory, ya know):

Q: "Is is true when they say, 'Once you go black you never go back?'"
A: "Yes. I hate using blue ink."

Answer 7

no one picks me but you and at the pub, in england.

ah well. at least SOMEONE appreciates my wit!

i really liked the one about the richard simmons set though. humph!

Answer 8

The incredibly witty answer I'm giving this question...

Answer 9

QUESTION Translate Southern United States English to British English:

ANSWER:

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."

IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - noun. A tool.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"

TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ.
HOD - adverb. Not easy. Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."

RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."

TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."

RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."

LOT - adjective. Luminescent.
Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."

FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas
Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"

BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

ASKER : delia (no capitals)

Answer 10

I can't remember, I'm here for points, not antidotes.