should i stay with my fiance, the father of my two young children?

Question

my fiance & i have been together for alomost 4 yrs now & we have a 20 month old son & a month old daughter. just recently i found out that when i was pregnant with my son my fiance was picking up on other women, gettin their numbers & makin plans with them. If that isnt bad enough i caught him naked in our own bedroom with my cousin. He swears that nothing happened. And last year his ex called & i answered it, he talked to her for a half hour; a couple nights later she texted his phone saying do you wanna go on another horse back ride ha ha. when i confronted him about it he said that it was nothing sexual that they use to go horse back riding together. Then i found out that when were first dating he slept with my best friend for fun according to him. he is always keeping things from me & lying to me about really dumb stuff & i have to practically beg him to pay attention to our kids. our son calls him by his first name-he calls me mom. im just confused & really hurt. i love him

Answer 1

Oh honey,
You already know in your heart that he is no good to you.
Maybe you feel that marriage will fix things between you, but I assure you it won't.
As hard as it is, you have to face the truth.
Get out while you still can!!!
I know its painful.
But you aren't doing yourself any good by staying with him.

Answer 2

You should sit down and talk with him. Tell him how you're feeling. Don't be afraid to do this it is healthy for a relationship. it sounds as though you are bored, I'm only guessing but perhaps since you have had the child the two have you have grown apart? It's only natural after having a child to love the child more than your partner, in fact you love the child more than anyone else, perhaps you are feeling undervalued, and forgive me, but perhaps you are not having intercourse as much. Waking at all hours to feed the baby and whatever will certainly do that, however you could always ask someone to take care of the baby overnight like a close family member, someone you trust. Go out for dinner with your fiance, talk about how you are feeling and go home and be a couple, this sounds horrible but, WITHOUT a baby. Only for a night. This may rekindle your feelings for him and make you realize why you fell for him in the first place. If not i will let you slap me senseless...=D. Good Luck

Answer 3

I feel for you. I wish you could get up the strength to leave him. You don't want your kids to grow up thinking they can treat women like this. If your son isn't attached to his dad, that is bad enough. Kids have a speacial talent for sensing the good or bad in other people. Saying all this is one thing, but you say you love him, so leaving him would be hard for you. You know what the right thing to do is. It's up to you though. Just think about your children. It may sound scary to be out there on your own with two kids, but i'm sure you could find some emotional and finacial help somewhere out there. Be it family or friends. Your babies daddy doesen't deserve you or the kids if he can't pay attention to his family. I hope you find the right thing to do, I know it will be a hard road.

Answer 4

Dear,start treating yourself better and maybe he or some other man will. Your fiance would have married you a Long time ago ,before two babies. People who have nothing to hide hide nothing.He sounds like the type who likes the ladies ,know this when you sleep with someone you are sleeping with their other parnters.I past and present as well I had a boyfriend lied like a rug and could explain it all away he made children played pro baller generous with money and hot as all get out. the problem was me not him Though I could do any better and that he was better than me . But that was a lie straight from h..l . The same God that made him made me and wanted good things for me .finally ask yourself would you want your daughter to be with a man like him?

Answer 5

Please tell me that you use protection now. This guy is playing the whole field. If he was going to marry you, he already would have. I really do not want to hurt your feelings any more than they already are. But Darlin, you need to pack up the kids (the ones you gave birth to) and go to somewhere safe, end things with him. Start living for you and the babies. You have enough on your hands trying to raise the children, you do not need his immaturity added to it. He is not the only man who will ever love you, and even with 2 kids you can find a Man who will be exactly what you and those kids need.

Answer 6

This guy was caught naked with your cousin and said nothing happened? Well, maybe nothing DID happen just because you caught therm.
Think about how you are going to get by without him - someday he is going to get one of these women pregnant. Then life will get even more complicated for you. So just be prepared. You can love somebody and know they are a total lying sack.

Answer 7

Honey, get out while you can. He is obviously not worth your trouble or heart ache. I would agree with some of the others, if it were one time I would say give it a chance and forgive and forget. Naked, come on... I would have thrown both of them out into the street nude... And then sold his stuff. I know you have young children but don't use it as an excuse to stay, they deserve better and so do you.....

Answer 8

That is awful for you, you must be so upset and confused. My advice would be to leave him honey, the way you describe him, if you were to give him another chance he wouldn't change. I would have said stay and work it out if he had only done it the once, but he sounds like he has no respect what so ever for you or his children. It will seem like the hardest thing in the world to do, and will break your heart, but it wont be half as hard as looking in the mirror in 10 years time and kicking yourself for wasting all that time staying with someone who doesn't treat you well!! You only have one chance at life, please don't put up with that for your or your children's sake. Hope everything works out for you.

Answer 9

I know this may be hard but you need to leave him. In the long run you are saving yourself a lot of heartache. You do not deserve to be treated like this. If he really loved you you wouldn't even have to be in this situation, if he loved you he wouldn't have to explain text messages, phone calls, etc. Just do what is right for you and for your children. Also you never know what kind of diseases he could bring home to you. Stay strong and do what's right.

Answer 10

It sounds like you are in a very bad situation and you need to decide whether or not it is time to get out. Just remember, your son is learning from his dad how to be a man and treat women, and your daughter will learn how to be treated by a man from the way her dad treats you. Is that how you want them to learn? It may be better to part ways. It may be better for them to see you happy but seperate then miserable and together. Best wishes!

Answer 11

This guy is no good. You deserve better. Your kids deserve better.

Keep in mind that your children will judge what a mom and woman are and what is acceptable behavior by what you say, do and allow to be acceptable. Without you taking a stand, they will grow up to accept this type of behavior for themselves. Would you want your kids to accept this type of behavior from their significant others? If not, then why would you accept it for yourself?

It's time to make a change. You and your kids deserve someone who will love you and respect you. Kick this guy to the curb.