My husband and I recently moved to a large city where he grew up. We are 36 years old and have been happily married for 12 years. I feel almost ridiculous concerning myself with this, but...my husband's first girlfriend (from 20 years ago) has somewhat kept in touch with my husband over the years. They were friends after they broke up, and he calls her on her birthday every year. This never bothered me. I am sure that my husband has no interest in her...no more than any of his other friends that he phones once a year on their birthday. But now that we live in the same city, she called to meet up with him...they have not seen each other in 17 years. So it kind of bothered my that her suggestion was that they meet for a run at a park. She is married and has children with similar ages to ours, but I do not want to suggest that we get together...it is not a big interest to me. I completely trust my husband and we are best friends. Should I care or is this not worth the trouble?
2007-07-17 22:51:46 · 16 answers · asked by kathryndrew 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have told my husband about my feelings, and he is happy to comply with whatever I want.
2007-07-18 00:42:48 · update #1
you should care.. you never know when something may go down. One day its a run in the park...the next day its a kiss...and the next day you dont wanna know. All I am saying is that you should keep a close eye out for things and little hints. If your husband is leaving the house constantly and stays things like "I'm going to the store" or a "I'm going to a friends house" or a bs story like that over and over, you should 100% care. Anything can happen..its the real world..
2007-07-17 22:59:08 · answer #1 · answered by The Adventures of YBP 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are not interested in running, and he is an avid runner already, I don't see any problem in letting him go run with a friend. However, I am of two minds on this. I think spouses should do their talking and relationship things together. They should esteem one another above all others. If it bothers you, and you also run, put on those running shoes and join them. If he doesn't want you to, then I would get suspicious.
2007-07-17 23:08:35 · answer #2 · answered by Booger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should care. He shouldn't be placing himself in any situation that could even tempt him in any way. He also shouldn't be doing anything one-on-one with anyone of the opposite sex (especially an ex). That kind of time should be reserved for the two of you. You are a wise woman, who has every right to be concerned. Affairs start in the heart, so it is important to minimize this kind of contact. Tell him you were thinking of going out to dinner with another guy, and he may start to understand.
2007-07-18 01:57:43 · answer #3 · answered by ad5000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think I would feel very comfortable with my husband visiting with an old flame. If you are concerned, you should talk to your husband about your feelings. Your husband sounds like a good guy and you probably have nothing to worry about, however, if it bothers you, get it off your chest. Talk to your hubby.
2007-07-17 23:53:29 · answer #4 · answered by yankeegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would care. After my divorce an old male friend called me. He's married but started slowly sharing with me that he's miserable. I told him that I was uncomfortable talking about that because my husband left me for somebody else. He told me that his wife was worried that we were back in touch. And from the way he was acting I think she has reason to worry. I value his friendship but he needs to work on his marriage without my interference. So I cut it off. I don't think it's appropriate in your husband's case either. This smells like trouble. Good luck to you.
2007-07-17 23:14:51 · answer #5 · answered by wc2ketey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt have a problem with it, I was with my wife for 10yrs and now have another partner. The new partner encourages me to remain friends with her as it is normal that after many years together there is still some emotional connection and the trust is there that there wouldnt be anything physical happening
2007-07-17 23:02:12 · answer #6 · answered by steel dude (Australia) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's probably curiosity from his and her side. Nothin wrong with that.
He loves you and you trust him, try not to show you have a problem because it's not worth it at all.
Like you said, she is also married with children.. it's just friends that have kept in contact.
You're over-reacting :)
2007-07-17 23:12:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not worth the trouble. Your marriage foundations are still strong and possibly so are hers.
She just wants to catch up, as it has been a long time.
2007-07-17 23:08:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the most important thing is that he told you about it!!! if he had any interest other than friends he wouldn't be talking to you about it! if it bothers you that much though then suggest you go also! tell him you'd like to meet her! he shouldn't mind!
2007-07-17 23:45:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
start off with talking to your hubby about how you feel over this.be honest,that is very important,so that he understands it very clear.if he still decides to meet with her after you have talked to him about it.........then i would worry.i think its all out of just friendship now.they may have just been better off as friends.you might wanna try talking to her about it to.tell her that you aren't jealous ,but that this is disrespectful to meet at a park.maybe you all can make other arrangements for meeting.good luck.
2007-07-17 23:03:39 · answer #10 · answered by fishin for answer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋