I have been married for 7 yrs and there are many things I love about my husband. I have all the material things I want, but I am very insecure. He is very successful and confident which is what I love about him. The first few months of our marriage he asked if I would watch a porn film with him which he had done occasionally through his life. I told him that I was upset that he would need to want to watch one and because we argued he said he wouldn't watch any again. He swears to this day ( 6 years later) that he hasn't watched porn since we got married and that he has no interest any more, that he adores me and has grown up. He also says that he hasn't been to a strip club since we got married ( although he used to go on work occasions before we met). He was asked to go when we were first together but didn't, although I know he wanted to becuase lots of people from work were going. We have argued many times about this stuff, he says he can't live without me and has changed. Has he?
2007-07-17 22:24:22 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he has said that his view on life has change now and he thinks that looking at porn and going to strip clubs is wrong but is he only saying that because it is what I want to hear?
2007-07-17 22:53:01 · update #1
Let me get this right. You are still upset about something he did one time SIX years ago?? And things he did BEFORE you got married?? And those things haven't happened since??
I feel really bad for your husband, because YOU are the one that needs to change. YOUR insecurity IS the only problem here, not his wanting to watch a porno with you six years ago. Good grief, that poor guy.....
2007-07-18 02:39:45 · answer #1 · answered by Dave J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married for 5 years. My husband and I watch porn together to get in "the mood". It gives our sex life a "kick" to try to do the things that they are doing on the movie. Besides...it keeps my husband coming home to me and not going out to see another woman. Why would he go out for "hamburgers" when he has "prime rib" at home?
Seriously, give this a chance. It can be a soft porn movie. It doesn't have to be the raunchy XXX kind. And buy yourself a slinky outfit to wear when you spring this on him. I can promise you that you will FEEL like the only woman in the world with him staring at you in that outfit! And it could quite possibly be the best sex you've ever had together. Open your mind and let yourself be sexy.It may help you stop feeling insecure. Now the strip clubs....that's another story. That invites another woman into your husbands' brain. You don't want him to associate getting aroused with another woman. I say no to the strip clubs too. If he likes the "tease" part of stripping, you do it! (another reson to go shopping for an outfit!) Would love to know how this turns out for you guys. :o)
2007-07-17 22:38:24 · answer #2 · answered by PokerGirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People can change, but only if they choose to. If he values your relationship as much as you say he does, then he is probably telling the truth. Some guys can take or leave porn. Others are addicted to it. If you have no proof or reason to believe he's still indulging, then believe him and move on. Leave the past where it belongs, in the past. I'm sure if you look back at your life there's things you don't do anymore too.
2007-07-18 01:36:32 · answer #3 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that he has probably adjusted if not altogether changed but have YOU?You are the same old suspecious,over driven Girl.Try ,understand and accept that in many ways men are different than women and a 'man of the world' has to have a need to live and deal with his counterparts in a befitting manner and not as an extension of his wife .I think you have a lot of 'growing up' to catch and be a worthy partner and a friend of your husband than a remote control[that too, a non effective]No,don't allow your anger to overshadow your wisdom.As I can see,you have in you and can do ie. be a friend and a partner to your good old hubby.
2007-07-17 22:46:01 · answer #4 · answered by brkshandilya 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like you think you arent good enough for him like he is above you. you obviously dont believe he has changed because you wouldnt of said those things. has he let you own in the past did you forgive and forget, without meaning to i think you have gaurded yourself. people only change if they want to. when he did those things you were ashamed of him he showed you a side of him which you didnt like and you cant forget. everyone grows and changes but habits- especially the bad habits are the things that only change when the person doing them wants to not for anyone else. give him the benefit of the doubt and when you walk in the door and see him do it in the future, understand you did the right thing by trusting him and then do the right thing by yourself and say goodbye to ************.
2007-07-17 22:41:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, people can change. It sounds like you are not secure in the relationship -- is it because of that? If he really loves you and wants to be with you, sit down and talk to him. Tell him about how it makes you feel, and that part of the reason you've had problems is because of your insecurities. It sounds to me like you have a good man who is trying to do right by you. I wish you the best of luck!
2007-07-17 22:29:29 · answer #6 · answered by j_dawg 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it meant a toss up between upsetting you or keeping you happy I believe he would change. If he didnt wanna keep you happy then you wouldnt still be together. You should trust him more and let him have some fun too so that he doesnt have to sneak off behind your back.
2007-07-17 23:01:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
some do not fall for the "replace" because it suits the electorate. The NRA is going to spend $40 million q4 on merchandising against obama. it seems they did their homework on his stance against gun possession and are not confident he has replaced purely because of the fact he stated everybody has a constitutional suited to bear palms. His previous statements approximately helping the DC gun ban and individuals clinging to their weapons is what they base their opinion of obama on. If the NRA became not against Gore, he would have gained rather of Bush, so as that they do have effect. electorate who relatively learn a candidate are actually not fooled with the help of obamas human beings beautiful rhetoric.
2016-09-30 06:02:36 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to change for you and that's wrong.
He's everything that women would love in a man but JUST BECAUSE YOU GOT UPSET OVER HIM WANTING TO WATCH PORN and you throw a wobbly over it, he's having to act like a weak man.
Why do woman always want to change their men? Why can't they be happy for once?
2007-07-17 22:29:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh good grief. He sounds madly in love with you. Stop looking for problems and be happy!
2007-07-17 22:42:30 · answer #10 · answered by Alex 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋