I have had it with my relationship to a man who is cold and non caring, his idea to have fun is to sit by?

Question

he is a man who I can't make happy, he sees through me not at me, I bought a nice sexy outfit today and put it on in the store befoe I left, when I got home, he said "oh you changed" later when I asked him what I was wearing, he couldn't answer me. I seems like he is working on getting himself healthier to attract younger woman, not for himself or for me. I don't know my feelings anymore, but I do know that when I am without him, I feel great, then when I get home I feel the house is full of negativity that makes want to run away. Sometimes he doesn't have to do anything to bring on the negative vibes I get. I have been with him 11 years and we have a daughter together, what to do

Confused

Answer 1

U have answered UR own question and don't even know it!! U are confused, because of the negative vibe....go with Ur gut feeling...If he isn't paying attention to U like U would like him to, even when U dress sexy, than something is amiss...
re-evaluate what U want in a relationship and see if he is IT?! as long as your not married than U can decide in good conscious whether to work on the relationship or to let it go...if U are married than U both might want to see a counselor someone U trust with an objective open mind/opinion...Ur daughter should be a priority!! What she sees U going though can affect the way she sees and accepts the way a man treats a woman..
Think about IT!!
God Bless

Answer 2

I think at this point, try talking to him first about how you're feeling. If he's still being unresponsive to your feelings, you could suggest counseling. If he doesn't agree to that either, I hate to sound so negative, but it may be in your best interest to move on. If he doesn't want to hear you out, or try to save your marriage through counseling, he's obviously telling you without words that he doesn't care anymore. Sometimes 2 people just grow apart after awhile-it's a proven fact. If he is trying to attract younger women, you don't need that in your life-to worry about him running around on you on top of all of the negativity and everything else. Life is short, you deserve a man who is going to be caring, loving, considerate, and for the most part into you as his wife and lover-and create a positive and happy atmosphere for you and your child. I know you said that you have a daughter with him, but I know for a fact that she can sense that there's something wrong between you and your husband-and it's probably really bumming her out-even if she hasn't said anything. No child wants to see their parents miserable with each other, and not child wants to deal with the negativity in the household that you have mentioned. You said that you're happier when you're not around him, so maybe that's a sign that maybe that's the way you should go. You don't deserve all of that negativity, and neither does your daughter-you both deserve to be happy. God bless and good luck!

Answer 3

I really don't want to sound negative here, i'd like to try and help, i do not know your whole history so i am going to be making a lot of assumptions. So this is basically my observations as a man who has been in a few relationships.

You say that you have been married to him for 11 years, well im going to guarantee you that he has seen you naked more then enough times for it to stop having the effect that you are looking for. You could be a super model wearing the sexiest outfit on the planet and to him you would still be just his wife and the effort that you put in wouldn't even make his groin area twitch. Your going to have to switch up what your doing, try new things, talk to him, explore your fantasies and not just his im talking about yours too. I can guaratee you after 11 years he has done tried everything his imagination can concieve you being willing to do, try to come up with something new.

If you really want to get his attention you are going to have to put in a little more effort, chose his mind and imagination as your target, do not let him know that you are trying to get him in bed. Men like ruts and he has fallen into a huge one and is probably quite happy with the daily routine and quite simply has not thought about life beyond that rut, he is in his comfort zone. Try saying out of the blue, for example while innocently holding a pair of scissors say "Hmm, i wonder what it would be like if you tied me up and cut my clothes off" then turn around and walk away (of course you have to be engaging him in other conversation prior to get his attention). Don't expect anything to happen right away, he might even look at you like your crazy, point is you just shocked him and it's going to make him start thinking different things. Again if he asks questions talk to him, let him know what you like and what your imagining in that head of yours, it's ok for him to let you know all those dirty little secret desires you have. He's already accepted you for who you are, give him something new to learn to accept.

After 11 years of marriage him choosing to get fit and healthier is not to attract younger women, that is your insecurities overiding your rational logic. Ever consider that he might be trying to look better to get you to touch him? Heck take some time out and hit the gym with him. On the touching thing, be as innocent as you can but as suggestive as you can when touching him, your trying to put ideas in his head not make him feel like having sex is an expectation. We don't like doing things if they are expected.

On your negative feelings, this very well could be due to the fact that you are expecting many many things from him and the fact that he is not meeting these expectations for you is causing a great deal of negativity on both your sides. Accept him for who he is and what he does, not what you think he should do or who you think he should be. Trust me men can sense expectations from a mile away and they will turn him into a lump on the couch with a remote faster then a speeding bullet.

Don't try to make him happy, just be happy. I would go into greater detail on that but im tired ;)

Answer 4

Gawd, hubby and I have bee married for 11 years. Sometimes I feel like that. You have to talk to him, get some reasurrance. Ask him, How much do you want me? really flat out, see what you get for an answer. I bet it will surprise you.

Answer 5

Counseling.

Answer 6

Sounds like no fun at all. What do you want to do? You could suggest counseling but I doubt he'd go. Perhaps it's time to start a new life.

Answer 7

Life is to short.
RUN!

Answer 8

im just 15 so dont crit. but shouldnt u guys be doing things together, i mean sex is good and all but wat about fun?