I'm in a relationship for 1 1/2 years, living w/ the guy. Everytime I try to say ANYTHING, literally, i'm told i'm stupid, i don't make sense, shut up. I feel like i'm walking on eggshells & have to pre-think everything for an hour before I speak it. If I make a small joke or say anything funny, i'm told it's a TURNOFF to be silly. If I don't do something, I get told about it, then when I do that something another time, i'm asked why i'd do something stupid like that. I feel like no matter what I do or say, there is no pleasing. I'm not even myself anymore. I'm normally happy-go-lucky & fun-loving, but with him i'm not allowed to be, i have to be "serious" 24/7. I've tried to break up about 10 times now & everytime he convinces me to stay, saying he needs help, but never gets it. Now, we're supposed to get married. He never proposed, just "said" we're getting married next month. Please help, any advice is greatly appreciated. I live in fear of my every move, making sure i'm pleasing.
2007-07-17 17:00:18 · 9 answers · asked by Laura 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I head says pack up and leave, my heart says the same.. i'm sad all the time. He's not affectionate at all. Rarely kisses me, never cuddles or hugs.. says that "black men don't do that stuff", (i'm white). and everytime I tell him it's over, he get's violently angry. He does things that if/when I ever did them are forbiddable, but i'm not allowed to say anything about it. This is so difficult. He says he loves me, but i just don't feel it. Love comes from actions, not words.
2007-07-17 17:16:16 · update #1
Also, for 10 years i've collected Teddy Bears, and I love butterflies. I'm told that i'm childish & i'm not allowed to display any of my collection. I'm 32 years old, but those are things I enjoy. Also, we never do anything I want to do, unless he wants to do them also. He won't ever try doing things i enjoy, just to be with, yet i'm expected to do whatever he says we're gonna do. He's been changing me from day 1.. into a person I don't like at all.
2007-07-17 17:20:52 · update #2
Another interesting fact... we never "make love"... when we have sex it's "come on, i don't have all day" or "come suck my **** i'm horny".
2007-07-17 17:23:46 · update #3
oh my gosh.. i'm sorry to say but that's every girl's worst nightmare!!! please do yourself a favor and break up with him. he obviously, obviously, obviously doesn't love you. sweetie, trust me on this one (and anyone else who shares the same point of view). this guy is BAD news and you know it. it's just a matter of taking a step forward in making the right decision to dump him. him telling you you're stupid doesn't equate love, doesn't even come close to it. your fun, bubbly personality will be much appreciated by PLENTY of other people. seriously, we're missing out here! :)
the best of luck to you, hun.
2007-07-17 17:13:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't know me, but I was a woman who lived with a man who called me every name in the book. He told me no one but him would have me. I spent 26 years because I believed him. One day while I was moving our stuff out of an apartment we have lost, he was with his new girlfriend. I was still conceited to be his property. A friend of my daughter's came to the back door looking for her. Come to find out he was the little boy 32 years earlier that had asked me to marry him. We are now married, the father of my children I have no idea, but it took me 26 years of verbal and physical abuse don't let yourself do that. you never really get over it and it makes it hard the next time you find true love. My advise is to leave before the hitting starts.
2007-07-17 17:33:53 · answer #2 · answered by Mary G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go, go, go. What more do you need? Go stay with family or friends until you get settled again. This is a bad guy. Don't wairt till he starts hitting you.
2007-07-17 17:44:54 · answer #3 · answered by John R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my ears mouth and nose are all closed, The little man with the jackhammer is still at work.... I think it only threatens to explode for torture purposes.
2016-04-01 09:47:34 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move out, leave a note, get a restraining order. someone who loves you is supposed to be supportive, not destructive.
2007-07-17 17:08:30 · answer #5 · answered by j c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is a controlling, manipulating man. Pack up your stuff and leave. You deserve better!!!! His a jerk!!!!!!
2007-07-17 17:10:49 · answer #6 · answered by ldmhuston 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get away any way you can it will get worse after married he needs help and you cant help him get a restraining order
2007-07-17 17:07:34 · answer #7 · answered by no1titanfan2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree just GO..............
2007-07-17 20:18:53 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN!!!!
2007-07-17 17:11:23 · answer #9 · answered by rami7810 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋