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My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years now. We have grown up together and have experienced all of our "firsts" together, and now he wants to have a baby. In a way I do to but im worried and I don't know what to do. We love each other so much and we want to be together forever!! We both have good jobs but i dont know how much a a baby costs or if my family will execpt it. What should I do, should I have a child now or wait till i'm older? :(

2007-07-17 16:57:51 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting Trying to Conceive

27 answers

well... im 17 years old and i am 36 weeks pregnant!!

i know exactly what you mean. me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 4 years. we are high school sweethearts and yes, having a baby DOES cross your mind.

at first he was gonna go into the service so we tried but nothing.

well i got pregnant in november 06 lol and we werent trying. i had just got off my b/c. i was very worried what my parents would say, but my mother had me when she had just turned 17, so i knew she would take that in consideration.

i told her and she got upset and so did my step-dad but they cant wait til this lil boy gets here and neither can i. they will and have done any and everything for me.

if you know your parents, as in youre close, then youll know how they will react. i doubt they will disown you, a baby is a great thing. the only thing i recommend is to wait. honestly i wish i would have, there is soooo many things that i will not be able to be because i have a child. im not saying i regret this pregnancy, just saying it wasnt planned and i should have been more careful. if a baby is what you want and you dont care about hangin out with friends and all that stuff then sure have a child, just think about things and make sure this is REALLY what you BOTH want!!!!

i wish you the BEST of luck!!

if you need anymore help, im here...
hells_temptations89@yahoo.com

2007-07-17 21:48:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 2

You are the best one to answer this question. Many people will tell you that babies cost money and you need to wait until you are financially stable to have a baby. Babies cost a lot for EVERYONE. If everyone waited until the were financially ready for a baby there would be no babies being born. My only suggestion is that you have a stable environment for you, your man and the baby. If you both have great jobs and are living together it is your decision whether you want to get married just make sure that it is what you both want and have a sound plan for how you are going to take care if it together. Good Luck and remember it is a BIG decision so really try to use good judgement.

2007-07-18 00:30:21 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs Adams 4 · 0 0

Babies are EXPENSIVE...
First of all... Are you still in school? If the answer to that question is YES, do NOT have a baby!! Wait til you have finished school and have all the degrees you want. Getting them with a baby will be a million times harder!! If the answer is no... Then it is a possibility but you have to think about all these things:

-Do you and your partner live together? Will he help you with the baby?
- What happens if you DO break up?
- Can you afford it? Babies cost thousands of dollars. Think about everything you'll need. Nappies/cots/strollers/toys etc.
- Are you prepared to put up with the pain of birth, the baby screaming at night, the stretch marks, the inconveniences?
- Will the babies live be a good one? Will it be cared for properly?
- How would you feel about having 17 year old parents? Would you prefer they were older?

If the answer to those questions is no, don't have a baby. You need to know it is a HUGE deal. The BIGGEST deal... Its not just for a little while... Its for at least 18 years of your life.

And the parents thing... Do YOU think they will approve?

If I was you I would wait til I had my own house, and at least enough money for you to be able to not work for 2 years. You can't have a baby and WORK!!! You won't get the full benefits of your child! It will be in daycare, and you will pick it up when you and baby are both tired and stressed. If you are going to be working after you have the baby... DO NOT HAVE IT... The quality of life for you both will be TERRIBLE... So. If you have your own house/are flatting, have enough money to be able to stay home for minimum two years, and are sure the babies quality of life will be good AND that you and your partner are COMPLETELY serious... Then if YOU want to (Not just your boyfriend!) want to have a baby, and your parents don;t mind... Have a baby.

Otherwise. DON'T!

2007-07-18 00:09:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

For all that is holy WAIT!!! You may think you have good jobs now, but what do you really have to pay for? If you have a baby you suddenly have to pay medical bills, food, probably have to find a house/apartment, you'll have to buy clothes constantly, diapers constantly and they are pretty expensive all by themselves. You can forget going out to dinner or to movies because you'll have to pay for a sitter and good ones aren't cheap. You don't want to leave your precious bundled with just anybody. If you aren't sure that you are ready, you aren't ready. It takes a huge commitment to have a baby. You have no way to be sure that your boyfriend will even feel this way in another year or so or that the two of you will even still be together. What then? What if you or he decides you want to go to college. Face it, in real life you can't have that great of a job without a college degree, certainly can't at age 17. It might be good at covering your expenses now, but not once you have a baby and are out on your own. You have plenty of time, there is no reason to rush into this now.

2007-07-18 00:24:16 · answer #4 · answered by The Sh*t 6 · 1 0

As a teen-mother myself, let me tell you...it is HARD!!! In all honesty, no one knows your relationship like the two of you do, but just remember for every good man that is out there, there are about 1,000 ones that aren't so great. There is nothing worse than trying to explain to your child why their father isn't around. If you guys are going to be together forever, then why not wait until you are both out of school and maybe even living together... even married??? Babies are wonderful and a child is a gift, but some gifts are better with time. Enjoy your freedom now. Once you have a baby, all your time is dedicated to your child. All your money. There is no "you" anymore, it is all about your baby. Plus, everyone wants to babysit in the beginning, but that goes away quick. Just talk to him, and maybe even your families, because in the end, they are going to be the ones who are there for you when everyone else leaves.

2007-07-18 02:10:05 · answer #5 · answered by Little mama 1 · 0 0

wait till you are older,
i kow this is what everyone says but if you have a baby now you are pretty much just throwing away the rest of your teen years. and what about when you hit 21 aren't you gonna wanna party a little and go out and see what that is about. or college .
when you have a baby you can't do that stuff, unless you wanna be a deadbeat parent and pond it off on everyone.
okay think, it needs diapers, food, wipes, a bed, toys, clothes, ect ect ect......
I had ababy when iw as 20 and i thin know if i would of know i would of waited until i was more set in life to have my kids. I love them and want them but i didnt' get to experience things that i would have had i of waited.
and 17? have you even graduated high school? finish school, if your guy loves you and truely loves you what is the rush? your not going nowhere, you can always make a baby together in the future!
i just thin kyou should wait unti you are a little older to realize what you are not only getting yourselfs into but what kind of situation you are bringing a baby into, nonmarriage and teenage parents...
do the right thing, Wait!

2007-07-18 00:04:55 · answer #6 · answered by 3 girls call me mommy 5 · 2 0

If I were you I would wait until you goto college and everything else. I basicly became a mom at 15 because my sister is 3 years older than me, and while she was out partying and everything, I was stuck at home taking care of my neice. At 9 months old she was calling me mama and cried when I had to goto school. I became a mom at 19, and even then I wish I waited, I had my second baby at 21. I am now 33, with a 13 year old, 12 year old and a 1 year old. I am now getting the education that I should have when I was your age. It's hard on me now because when I am trying to study for school, I have to get up and take care of my baby. My 12 year old helps me out a lot but there is only so much she can do because I don't like to pon him off on her or anybody else. It's not her job, it's mine
So if you don't want to end up like me or any one else that is like me, then just WAIT. Not only that, you will more than likely end up on welfare because you can't support your baby!

2007-07-18 03:52:50 · answer #7 · answered by claysoldlady2005 3 · 0 0

i would wait until your older being a mother is the most hardest job in the world but the most satisfying job as well but you are only 17 are you sure this is the guy wait til you feel ready to have a baby the cost of having a child is alot you always need to buy nappies food wipes clothes etc you sound like a very mature woman but if you love this guy i would wait til either your married or your both ready hope you think this through hope it all works out for you

2007-07-18 01:07:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I had my first baby at 18 My husband (boyfriend at the time) wanted a baby first, well to me it depends on the person 17 sounds pretty young. I had a hard time becouse i knew nothing about babies!
So when My baby cried, I cried! when he woke up at all hours of the night crying i would try to rock him and feed him and I would cry along with him. it was very hard.
Now I am 26 and I have two little boys I servived but I kinda wish i would have waited and spent a little more time enjoying my husband Cuz once the baby is there, it is hard to get time alone with the one you love.It goes both ways they are fun and they are hard , it has it great times and it has its extreemly bad times!
But the question is Are you ready?Are you ready to take care of someone other than yourself are you ready to not have designer jeans becouse the baby needs diapers.
I nursed my first becouse the formulia was $12.00 a can. You have to remember that yes you both have jobs but if hard times come are you willing to stick together.
Get used to taking showers only when your boyfriend or someone can watch the baby sometimes you don't even get to brush your teeth. Baby's require alot of time and money, so please think about it real good first! make sure!

2007-07-18 00:27:19 · answer #9 · answered by Brina 1 · 1 0

Im 19 and happily married to the man of my dreams we have been together for almost 5 years now. We both have good jobs and want a baby just as bad. I know that its hard when you want to give someone you love so much something. I know the feeling. My husband and i sat down one night and really talked about it and looked at can we afford it, Do we have the time. Do we want to finish school, Are we ready to put off the friends and party life that we tend to live sometimes. theres a lot to think about. I think from my own experience .. sit down with him and really have a heart to heart and korny as that sounds it might help you feel a little better about it all. I hope that this helped

2007-07-18 00:14:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

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