I am so upset and confused right now, I have no idea what to do. I have been married for 5 months now, but I am NOT happy. I never officially broke up with my ex-boyfriend of 4 years, we became long distance last June, then I rekindled with an old friend in Sept and after 5 months dating he proposed and I accepted. I guess this was a rebound, I never completely got over my ex-boyfriend...things just happened.
Well, I am not happy, I still love my ex, I miss him beyond belief and I know he loves me too. When he heard I was getting married, he tried to stop the wedding, but it was just too late at that point, too many things had been planned. I am NOT sad, but I am NOT happy whatsoever, I just feel "blah." I think about my ex all the time, love him alot, but I dont know what to do. I miss him.
I dont want to hurt my husband by getting divorced and I dont want to be alone (if my ex wont take me back) I am SOO confused. Will I feel better? Am I in love? It has been 5 months!
2007-07-17 14:43:03 · 16 answers · asked by felicia246 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
People make mistakes. This sounds like it was a huge one.
Can you talk to the minister who married you? He may be able to help you.
2007-07-17 14:49:39 · answer #1 · answered by krymarbet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
End it soon, either through an annulment or through a divorce. Why? I don't think you know what real love is. First, you would have never married the rebounder. Second, after your ex-boyfriend tried to stop the wedding, if you truly loved him, you would have walked away from the altar.
Back to the here & now, you're unhappily married, think you're in love with an ex-boyfriend who is many miles away. The enevitable conclusion to this drama at the very least is that you could get the marriage annulled quickly & pretend it never happened. Do so before it's too late & to stop the pain & needless suffering which would enevitably come if you stayed in this marriage. Will an annullment or a divorce hurt your husband, maybe; but in the long run he'll truly appreciate your honesty -- at least later on -- after he realizes he could have been stuck in a loveless marriage to a wife who thinks she's in love with someone else.
Will you feel better? I'm not sure, but at least you can stop hurting others. Are you in love? Obviously, if you're asking us the answer is no. You would know you were in love & would never have to ask. The clincher for me was the part where you say "I don't want to be alone (if my ex won't take me back)." Perhaps you could be a fortune teller.
2007-07-17 15:17:20 · answer #2 · answered by Andy K 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can either face the possibility of being alone and use it as a chance to grow and mature -- or -- you can continue being deceptive (which is what you're doing to your current husband) -- but I think you should have this annulled and face being alone. I think you should NOT go back to your ex, (there was probably a pretty good reason you broke up in the first place). And honey, things didn't "just happen." You made choices that you were in denial of. Don't let yourself be a victim -- find a spine and use it.
2007-07-17 15:08:32 · answer #3 · answered by mj 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's the rule: Choose your love.....love your choice. You are in a married, committed and legally wed relationship. Did it not occur to you that you promised to love, honor, etc for the rest of your life with no exceptions? Grow up fast.....you made grown up decisions. Hope there are no children in this fiasco. See a councilor, talk to a minister, get advice from a reputable person.
2007-07-17 14:56:50 · answer #4 · answered by tlbrown42000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you made a mistake by getting married so fast. If you are not happy it is not going to get any better. You need to get out of this marriage before things get worse. You are asking if your in love. You need to really asks yourself that question because only you know how you really feel. No one can answer that question but you.
2007-07-17 14:51:59 · answer #5 · answered by Vicky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you crazy? It's time to grow up! You made a concious decision in God's eye. You better put that guy out of your mind don't talk to him anymore and love your husband until death. Ignore the ex hun. He obviously doesn't love you.
2007-07-17 15:37:05 · answer #6 · answered by Peek@u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should have had a thought BEFORE you got married...if you aren't in love with your husband, why did you go through with the marriage. NOTHING has gone too far, if the ceremony hasn't happened yet. But obviously you aren't mature enough to know that...so grow up and deal.
2007-07-17 14:47:33 · answer #7 · answered by Chrys 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a terrible situation. I think you officially broke up the day you married someone else. Go to therapy.
2007-07-17 14:52:37 · answer #8 · answered by Lana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why the hell did you marry someone you didn't even know much less love? No wonder the divorce rate in this country is so high; don't tell me, you're under 25, aren't you?
2007-07-17 14:46:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You defiantly need to sit down with your husband and talk things out. As for what you should do, I cannot help you. Definably talk to him though. Just know you cannot lead him on and cannot torture yourself about your ex.
2007-07-17 14:53:57 · answer #10 · answered by bobbo342 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋