Abortion....?

Question

I am having an abortion tomorrow and I am terrified. I am scared and afraid but I need to get it done for personal reasons. I went on Monday to do one at a clinic but I chickened out when they called my name and I left. I know this is a terrible thing but any suggestions on how I can feel less scared tomorrow and more relaxed????

Answer 1

First of all, sweetie, you're going to get a LOT of hateful and misguided "answers" here- don't pay attention to them. They have no idea what it means to be in the position you're in.

Just remember why this is the best choice for you, and that it will be over quickly. Remember all the reasons why you don't want to be a mom yet.

Good luck. And hey people, seriously, there's no need to judge. Leave her alone.

Answer 2

First of all try not to listen to everyone that feels the need to judge you when they do not know your situation. This choice is yours and yours alone.

Why is it that you are scared exactly? If you are scared of the actual procedure and the pain/complications like many people have said before me the risks are very small. The risks associated with carrying a child to term are actually much greater, about 10 times greater. Most people feel very little pain. Usually the cramping is along the lines of a period, maybe a little worse. For some the pain is greater but they will give you pain killers and just keep reminding yourself that it'll be over soon. Some of the previous answers suggested that you bring someone close to you that you trust - I would absolutely recommend this. I also had an abortion done and I brought not only the father but my best friend with my and I coudln't have gotten through it without them.

If you are scared because you have reservations about getting the abortion done at all then that is a bit more complicated. I would absolutely recommend talking to the counselor at the clinic before going through with the procedure (if that is in fact what you decide to do). And sitting down by yourself and seriously thinking about if this is really what you want to do would also probably help. Keep in mind that people who have reservations before the procedure are much more likely to have serious regrets after, so you might also want to look into counselling and/or support groups after the abortion as well.

Answer 3

There is a lot of emotion involved in making a choice regarding a pregnancy, regardless of what your choice is. Most clinics have mandatory counseling on site prior to the procedure, talk to them, tell them about your fears...they can explain the specifics of the procedure, they can also explain more about your alternative options including adoption, or keeping the baby. If abortion is the right choice for you, it will still be after talking to them. I have been the hand holder for a few people, maybe you could bring a support person with you? If you are nervous, support would help, just make sure it's not someone who is going to make you start second guessing yourself. Parenting is a huge responsibility and not everyone is ready for that.

Answer 4

*** Do NOT listen to the anti-abortionists on here. They do not know what you are going through! ***

Do you have some anxiety pills? I usually take some or request something from the doctor before any clinical situation.

Do you have a friend to come hold you hand? That is always comforting.

Remember the reasons you need to abort. Among them might be:
1)your boyfriend leaving you once he finds out
2)screaming parents
3)getting kicked out of the house
4)not finishing your education
5)poverty
6)never getting to go anywhere or do anything fun again
7)low paying jobs
8)child support payments.

Remember, at this stage, the baby is just a tiny little thing that CANNOT LIVE on its own, any way. It is just like an assisted miscarriage.

Afterward, you will grieve. Humans grieve about everything (including a pet dying and having their best friend move away). It is the way we are made. So find a grief counselor to talk to afterward.


In the future, remember:
1)the condum plus
..a)the pill or
..b)IUD or
..c)the patch (etc.)

Answer 5

It seems that you really don't want this abortion. Once it's done, you'll have to live with the knowledge that you allowed a doctor to end the life of your child--at Christmas, Mother's Day, kid's birthday parties, etc. You'll probably never forget the date of an abortion. Please spare your child's life and yourself all of the unnecessary grief and guilt that so many women experience.

There are thousands of free crisis pregnancy centers across the country. They can provide you with clothes, health care referrals, food, counseling, adoption information, maybe even money and shelter, etc. For a location near you, check out http://www.nationallifecenter.com/ or call 1-800-848-5683. You can also get help from your local welfare office.

There are 2 million couples looking to adopt. Some are even in a position financially to help you. You can choose which ones you'd like to raise your child and even stay in touch with your child if you want. I worked with a girl who did just that. She's quite happy with the arrangement.

Please choose life. Not only for your child, but for yourself also. Depression and/or lifelong regret often follow abortions. Abortions increase the risk of suicide and substance abuse by 500%. Accidental deaths rise at least 400% compared to those who carry their babies to term.

If you do decide to abort, you should research the clinic thoroughly. They're not strictly regulated. For example, the female governor of Kansas vetoed a bill which would have required abortion clinics in that state to maintain the same standards that veterinary clinics do. Are dogs more important than women to Gov. Sebelius?! Hundreds of women have died of legal abortions since 1973, and many more have suffered complications.

You may not like pro-lifers, but they're the only ones that are there for you before and after an abortion. They don't charge for their help, and will counsel you after an abortion--which is more than most abortion clinics do after getting PAID. Many pro-lifers have had abortions and now work to help other women avoid the pain that they have known. If something should happen to you or someone you know because of an abortion, there are pro-life lawyers who will file a lawsuit.

Remember, you'll never regret doing the right thing. I wish you well.

Answer 6

I know you are scared, and you think that this is the best thing for both of you, but it's not. When you finally do decide to have children are you going to be able to live with yourself knowing that you willingly killed your first one? What makes this baby undeserving of life? Please, just have the baby... somebody wants him/her. Yes it is going to be a rough 9 months, but what is even rougher is living with guilt forever. I will pray for you, I know you are scared. And by the way, I did do a little research on the suction machine (a michine that little sucks your child from your woumb) and supposeldy it is a terrible pain. I hope that if you do go through with this that the baby isn't very far along, because the baby CAN feel pain.
Section Three: The Baby's Reaction
Many people are under the impression that the baby is dead from the anesthesia before the procedure starts. This is not true. In order for the baby to die from the anesthesia, the mother would have to receive doses large enough to endanger her life.

A baby can feel pain beginning early in the second trimester. So when an abortionist performs a partial birth abortion, he is causing agony to that child when he pierces the skull and sucks out the brain of the baby. Nurse Brenda Shafer describes the baby's reactions.

"...The baby's body was moving. His little fingers were clasping together. He was kicking his feet. All the while his little head was stuck inside. Dr. Haskell took a pair of scissors and stuck them into the back of the baby's head, and the baby's arms jerked out in a flinch, a startle reaction, like a baby does when he thinks he might fall...."(4)



"Does the baby feel pain in an abortion? The pain mechanism has been found to be functioning in the preborn child as early as 45 days after conception. Abortion does cause pain.[6] In the film, "The Silent Scream," an actual first-trimester abortion is seen via ultrasound. The baby can be seen repeatedly moving to dodge the abortionist's suction instrument, and her heart rate doubles. As she is dismembered, her mouth opens in a silent scream. Abortion is violence - against preborn children, and against the women in whose bodies the violence takes place."

Answer 7

Please go to counseling. Some clinics offer this before the abortion takes place. I almost had one with my second child, I did the same thing you did, I walked out when they called me in to see the doctor. 15 yrs latter that child is the love of my life. I can't imagine my life without him. If your first instinct was to walk out then maybe it was the right thing for you to do. Search your heart if there is any doubt at all about weather to have this abortion than maybe this is not right for you. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Answer 8

Consider adoption..better someone elses baby then a dead baby! I am 21, have three beautiful kids, a 6 year old (do the math) a 4 year old whom i gave up for adoption at birth, and a 2 month old....i just dont think abortion is the answer..children are a blessing..if your having doubts you shouldnt do it

Answer 9

Planned Parenthood is a really good place to go get counceling. They help with a lot of other things too. You might want to talk to someone about it.

Answer 10

Suggestions on how to feel less scared and more relaxed? Tell yourself the truth: it is a very simple medical procedure that is performed a countless number of times all over this country with very few complications. I would not fear the physical end of it at all. I would, however, fear the psychological ramifications. You will NEVER be able to live this down. It will literally haunt you forever. Much worse than having a baby could ever be. Things will be fine with you and your baby; you can work it out if you try.

Answer 11

Abortion is one of the most common medical procedures performed in the United States, and one of the safest. The risk of complications such as heavy bleeding or infection is less than 1 percent. According to the Alan Guttmacher Institute 88 percent of women who seek an abortion do so before 13 weeks of gestation. Of these women, 97 percent have no complications, 2.5 percent have minor complications that can be easily treated in the office, and less than 0.5 percent experience serious complications that require surgery or hospitalization. The risk of death is very small: one death per 500,000 legal abortions before 8 weeks. The risk of death associated with childbirth is actually eleven times as high as that associated with abortion.