I cheated on my husband but it's not my fault?

Question

There is a guy (Craig) I know at work and he is really good looking and single, and I have always secretly had a crush on him and I never made a move until last week. We get along well and last Friday he started flirting with me more than he usually does, and then he was sweet talking me, and I couldn’t resist so we went to a Holiday Inn.

My husband doesn’t know about this, and I decided to let it go and pretend it never happened but I can’t forget about it and I feel bad. My husband took me out for dinner to an expensive restaurant the other night and he made it special and everything and the whole night I felt bad because he has no clue what I have done.

I know I sound like a bad wife but it wasn’t my fault that I cheated on my husband. Craig sweet talked me into doing it, so it was his fault not mine. Now I want to tell my husband but I’m scared that he might not give me another chance and divorce me. Out marriage was good and we live in a nice house and have nice cars and a lot of friends and I’m afraid that I will loose all that if I tell my husband. What should I do?

He paid for the room, not me.

Craig paid for the room and sweet talked me.

Answer 1

Of course it is your fault woman! Did the guy hold a gun to your head??? You cheated now fess up!

Answer 2

OK Girl!! U need to own up to what U did to Ur self first!! Yes, I see that he sweet talked U into something U now regret, but U still had the choice to say NO!! If it is so easy for this guy, are there any other guys that might come along that will do the same thing to U? Be True to Urself and Ur husband!! Seek help from someone U trust, but will have an objective opinion, a counselor, or pastor someone like that, someone U trust without a doubt....to be honest with U, sometimes the truth doesn't need to hurt someone that U love that much, but if U are going to hurt until the whole thing comes out, find a place in urself where U will be able to accept the consequences of Ur indiscretion from Ur husband...and who ever else that might have to get involved to resolve the situation...U might think it only will hurt husband, but so far it has hurt U and him unbeknown to him and probably a few if not several other people that will possibly eventually find out about what happened.
Lots to Think About!!
God Bless U

Answer 3

he might have sweet talked you but you still went. So, if some woman sweet talked you hubby and they had sex, you wouldn't blame him at all. It's not like Craig forced you, and if you do tell your husband, you better not say it wasn't my fault that's only going to piss him off more. You did it, you take responsibility for it. You should feel bad, you should feel real bad. Learning that the grass isn't always greener on the other side is a hard lesson. Whether or not you tell your husband is completely your decision. I'd consider looking for a different job, it's unfair of you to keep working with Craig, because if your husband does find out or if you do tell him, it might make things easier if you are not having contact with Craig.

Answer 4

Firstly Jessie you should quit blaming this Craig fellow for your indiscretions. You were the one who made the choice to be unfaithful, and although he may have prayed on your weakness and vulnerability the final decision was still yours. What you do about it is also completely up to you. If the guilt is too much then I would suggest that you sit down with your husband and be honest with him and let him know how awful you are feeling about the horrible mistake you have made. If he wants to try and patch things up and go to a relationship or marriage counsellor I would suggest that you take his advice. But if he is so hurt that he wants to quit the relationship then you will have to learn how to live with the consequences. Also you need to ask yourself if the truth would be better coming from you or by him finding out about it through someone else (which might happen). I have heard that there are only three the 3 A's that should be even considered when thinking about ending a relationship. They are Abuse, Addiction and Adultery. You are guilty of at least one of these big 3 and as such must live with your poor live choice. Do whatever you feel inside of you is the right thing to do, but also please accept some of the responsibility.

Answer 5

Are you insane, you can't blame Craig, he might have sweet talked you but you still went. So, if some woman sweet talked you hubby and they had sex, you wouldn't blame him at all. It's not like Craig forced you, and if you do tell your husband, you better not say it wasn't my fault that's only going to piss him off more. You did it, you take responsibility for it. You should feel bad, you should feel real bad. Learning that the grass isn't always greener on the other side is a hard lesson. Whether or not you tell your husband is completely your decision. I'd consider looking for a different job, it's unfair of you to keep working with Craig, because if your husband does find out or if you do tell him, it might make things easier if you are not having contact with Craig.

Answer 6

OK if it was not your fault then it must have been rape and kidnapping because you were taken to a hotel room where you had sexual relations without your consent. This mean not only do you have to tell your husband, but you also must call the police. This man has to be taken off the streets for the protection of society. If it was not rape and you willingly went to the hotel where you willingly had sexual relations with a man other then your husband then you have cheated on your husband. Now you have two choices to tell or not to tell your husband. If you think you marriage is worth it and you will not do it again then you do not say anything and suffer the consequences - carrying the guilt of your actions, the knowledge that you are a cheater, and the worry your husband will never find out. This will no doubt cause some change in your personality which will definitely cause questions in your husband's mind. If you cannot live with your first choice then you have to confess to your husband and plead for mercy, forgiveness, and understanding. Probably he will tell you to get your cheating a** out, and you will have to deal with the consequences of his anger, loss of your standard ot living, loss of a loving partner, loss of friends and/or relatives, and very possible loss of or limited visits with your children. You have backed yourself into a corner with no good options to get out. This is what happens when spouses cheat and do not think before they act. If you were unhappy in your marriage then you could have addressed your problems and attempted to solve them, and if they could not be resolved, then file for divorce before hooking up with another man. Sorry to be so pointed, but this is serious, and a very, very high price to pay for a few minutes of pleasure. Everyone who has any thoughts of sex without their partner's permission should take this into account before they act as many lives can easily be destroyed.

Answer 7

Craig did not MAKE you have sex with him. If he did, then that's called rape and you should call the police. However, if you tell them the same story you just told us, they will laugh in your face. It takes two to tango sweety. This is just as much your fault as his.

You should tell your husband the truth. If he divorces you, then you got what you deserved. You're a cheater. Its as simple as that. When you got married, you took vows. You broke those vows, why SHOULDN'T he divorce you? I hope that he will be willing to do some marriage counseling and you two can try to work through this, but I wouldn't get my hopes up too high. You can't even admit that any of this was your fault, I doubt your husband will be willing to work with that.

Are you more worried about losing all your material possessions or your husband?

Answer 8

You are your own person and even though Craig sweet talked you, he didnt force you to get in the hotel. Everyone, at some point in their life, goes through this or comes across a situation where they are tempted to do the unthinkable.

I know you want to tell you husband about the situation but honestly, it will only make YOU fell better and make your husband feel like SH*T! Have you learned from your mistake? Do you want to work things out with your husband? If that is the case then do not tell him and just focus on your relationship with him. The past is the past and keep it to yourself and make sure you dont do it again. If, on the other hand, you dont want it to work out, tell him.

Answer 9

OK.....it's not your fault? Did this Craig guy kidnap you and drag you to this hotel room and make you do it? NOPE! Seems like you let your hormones to the talking and walking. So therefore, it's just as much your fault as it is Craig's. Takes 2 to tango!!!!
Craig now has a "bighead" (not literally speaking) and has just "SCORED" w/ a married woman, he wooed her and cooed her and now he is the big dawg in the house!
Now, your poor, pitiful husband who obviously loves you doesn't know about your little pilgrimage out of your bedroom. What to do? Seems like you have a booger on your hand. You could make small conversations about movies or a friend has stepped out in their marriage and see how he feels about the issue. If he gets angry, then I'd keep my mouth shut and learn my lesson. If he seems somewhat passive or not too angry, I'd come up with some creative way of breaking his poor heart and his trust towards you. That's a tough one, cookie! My suggestion: keep your pants on unless it's your husband knocking at the door!

Answer 10

Are you serious what you saying that Craig sweet talked you. Did he rape you or walked you in that room by false. You willingly took yourself removed your clothes and set yourself on fire. You have been admiring and even joiking with him. You have no respect for your husband. Imagine it is your husband who did it. What would you do. Do it now. Keep everything to yourself and live with the pain cos of the sweetness of One stand. You deserve to be divorced for you are not faithful. You have no control on your body. Be single by choice and enjoy yourself. Dont cheat anyone that Craig sweet talked you wanted him from the beginning. Shame on you.Divorce and marry Craig he is single and you love him.Go ahead carry your cross.

Answer 11

Your a narcisistic slut. What a loser; I'm laughing so loud. Your an adult. Little 13 year old girls can say they were seduced but not a grown woman. Craig is a loser and so are you. Your husband should dump you.

In your warped lack of class and character mind, its ok to cheat on your spouse if your seduced? God your sleazy.

You have no morals or character. For the love of God do NOT have children. The U.S. has enough people like you in it. Your an embarassment and have never taken responsibility in your life.

Poor me, i'm a victim. You are just gross.