My friends have told me that they think I judge people without knowing them and give people dirty looks alot. They don't like that I do it but I don't mind becuase I'm going to a different college as them and want a fresh start to make new friends. I think I am pretty insecure and don't let people get to know me because I think they probably won't. I don't know how I can change my attitude to make loads of new friends when I start college. Any ideas? what do you look for in a friend?
2007-07-17 11:15:53 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Forgot to mention I don't realise i'm giving the dirty looks.
2007-07-17 11:24:04 · update #1
beer. Go to a local bar and hang out maybe youll meet some ppl there.
2007-07-17 11:20:30 · answer #1 · answered by pooh_and_booboo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about the eleventh commandment: "do unto others as you want done to you". I happen to believe that if one takes this to heart, a lot of issues will no longer be as difficult or intractable as they may initially appear.You have a very negative and cynical way of looking at your life as well as the broader world.People are not disposable; you don't give them up or decide to forget about them simply because you are changing locations. The people you have known the longest know you the best and they are the ones you can count and depend on at those times when we need good friends.There is a good Greek mythological tale about friendship that may answer your question about what you look for in a friend. I am not going to give the name of this tale but I hope you will look it up as a sign of your desire to find the answer.Good luck.
2007-07-17 18:44:31 · answer #2 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, you're pretty paranoid. You only find what you expect to find - if you assume everyone will dislike you or judge you or be mean, then you're going to interpret their words and actions to reflect that expectation, and you'll only ever see the bad side of people.
Some counseling might help you reboot your mindset. Start by assuming that everyone is a nice person until absolutely proven wrong. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and assume they are the best friend you haven't met yet. Assume that they like you more they you like you (which apparently isn't very much).
2007-07-17 18:21:15 · answer #3 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you have to be yourself. Just take things slow, don't judge people from the frist time you meet them. sometime if you can have just one or two best friends. according to the polls that[s all we do have. maybe there something in your past that causeing you to be that way. seek some cousling, there have group that meet, that deals with the question how we are toward other and how we would like to be.maybe you can creative a group on line to help you answer your question and you can help someone else,like the guy who think that he's ugly and can't find a date. your are your friends best friends and you are your best friend
2007-07-17 18:28:03 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny - I used to be that way. I don't give dirty looks or judge anymore because I came to realize that I did it from being too choosy about who I hung out with... I don't trust people easily and I still do choose my friends. Just give an ocassional smile and don't judge people you don't know. It's okay that everyone is different and if you don't feel good about someone, just don't say anything and stay away from them.....
2007-07-17 18:21:18 · answer #5 · answered by jessie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I don't think you'll do to better with that kind of attitude and everything for college. I say you should just try to be a little nicer to people, and hey, it might come back to you. You don't nescicarely have to be "nice" to them just don't be mean and you may not have to like them, just tolerate them so they don't feel like your ignoring them.
Hope that helps!
2007-07-17 18:20:15 · answer #6 · answered by dave_ogerplops 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one of the reasons college is so great....it gives you some space to decide what you like and don't like about yourself.
Be honest & dig deep within yourself.....and keep the good bits and toss the rest.
2007-07-17 18:20:58 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet that you are shy, right? I used to get that in school too. Just lighen up, smile alot and be nice when people talk to you.
2007-07-17 18:19:00 · answer #8 · answered by Brandi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember that nobody is perfect, everyone has faults.
2007-07-17 18:18:53 · answer #9 · answered by patriciaannbee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop looking they will find you, believe me......
2007-07-17 18:18:38 · answer #10 · answered by Lovie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋