How can I be more secure with myself and stop worrying about the other women around?

Question

How can I boost my confidence and not worry about what other women my boyfriend may see?
I find that I avoid going to certain places where there may be a lot of people around. I am ruining my own life by living this way, how can I stop worring about these things and just be happy, confident and secure with myself?
Thank you in advance for your help!

Answer 1

I used to feel that way, like everyone else was better than me. I had started getting chunky on top of that. What I've done is lost a lot of weight and am now running every night. I go about 1.2 miles running and I walk 1.4 miles with my neighbors. We then got o my neighbors and eithe rdo yoga/pilates or work with 5 pound weights and tone. I've just started doing it, and it's already making a difference. I know I am doing something that is good for me and will make me look awesome. It has given me a little more of a confidence boost because I know that I am starting to look good and my man is noticing it too. Good luck and try to exercise. Exercise releases the bad chemicals in your body that make you feel bad.

Answer 2

The best way would be for you to find a therapist who can help you learn the skills necessary to build your self esteem. That is the whole issue right there. I know there is a LOT of stigma when it comes to seeing a therapist, but it is the fastest way to reach your goal of becoming self assured and confident.

The other way, is to just pretend that you ARE confident. It's REALLY difficult to do, but that is what I did... on the advise of MY therapist. I still get the butterflies in my stomach when I'm about to go out in public, but I do, and I act like everyone thinks I'm absolutely fabulous... and you know what? People pick up on it, and decide that if I think I'm fabulous, I must be pretty damn fabulous, and I end up having a BLAST before the night is through.

People who don't know me incredibly well are just flabbergasted when they discover how shy and quiet I am, and how I struggle with my self esteem... but, that only makes them more impressed.

Answer 3

well, first off, there will always be other women around unless he becomes a monk and runs off to the hills and joins a far off monastery. positive self-talk may help, but I've never been one for that. I was insecure when I was younger. "why would he want me? she's cuter. she's skinnier. she has a better smile." then I realized that it's not about the other women, it's about me. take a long, hard look at yourself. go buy yourself a cute outfit, do your hair and makeup, put on a big smile, and hit the town with him. make him want you. make him forget about all the other women he could be looking at cause he's taking you home. and make up your mind to have a good time before you leave.

when I was single, this was a major thing for me. but now I have the attitude that I'm fat, and I don't care what the world thinks of me. I get dressed up, and we go have a good time. at the end of the day, when I've had my two kids, my boyfriend's daughter, and my sister's three kids, I haven't had a shower all day, and I'm irritated from playing referee all day, he still wants me. and I can live off that. remind yourself that there is a reason he's with you, and it's not cause everyone else in the world looks better than you.

make a list of your good qualities. (I did this with a kid who didn't like himself one time, and it works. builds self-esteem.) you're funny, you like to have a good time, you have friend who say you're ____, you have a customer at work who likes you because ____. beside that, make a list of the things you don't like about yourself, but you're willing to change. every week, go over this list. if you find more positive things about yourself, write them down. it helps you see yourself for who you truly are without the need to compare yourself to everyone else. good luck, and hope this helps.

Answer 4

Be a go get it gurl! What you feel is normal. Remember that just like you feel that other women are a threat they feel that you are one as well. When you are going places give yourself that extra boost by dressing up a lil more. Go the extra mile and spray on some of that smell good. Men are looking at you too. Accentuate you best attributes. Make yourself more noticeable by becoming part of the competition. If he ask why then let him know, it is for you babe. Ask him if he wants one of the finest girls around hanging on his shirt tail? Stop doubting yourself. Be the sexy beast that you know you are. It will not only add to your confidence but put him on his P's and Q's!

Answer 5

What is the worse that can happen ? He finds someone else ? You find someone else . You are a very important life in this universe . I know I make it seem minor , but I don't want to trivialize your situation . You need to know that others find you attractive as well . As an exercise ...go to a mall...and ask an attractive man there for his phone #...just tell him you have an appointment that you have to keep , but you would be really mad at yourself all day if you did not approach him. If you get his phone number ...great...and if you want to stay in your current situation , just toss the number and know that , "Hey I'm OK "...if you don't get his number...you can try someone else...also you know the discomfort and hey it really was not that bad . If you repeat this , the discomfort will go away and you will feel better about yourself

Answer 6

If you take a look around everyone has something that stands out about themselves. Take pride in the things that make you unique. Think "I'm going to bring joy to someone else today. I'm going to make someone else feel good." You'll then see in their eyes that they like you. That will build confidence, beautiful people come from the inside, soon the outside won't matter as much. You get more if you do for others.

Answer 7

Honey you need to look in the mirror smile and tell yourself that you like what you see, and tell yourself that you have got it going on, and say it with attitude and mean it, don't be cocky but just be positive, tell your self that you are somebody, and those other women don't hold a candle to you, when you start talking like this to yourself, believe it, and the attitude will come with it, no man wants to date a woman who has issues of self-esteem, and other women can look at you and see that you have those issues and will purposely come on to your man, because you are not secure and confident, God gave you the same material that he gave those other women, honey it is up to you as to how you work with what God gave you. Good Luck, and tell yourself that you love you there is nothing wrong with that.

Answer 8

You have to tell yourself this( and believe it) If your BF is going to cheat on you, hes going to cheat on you. Being insecure and jealous will not stop him, in fact it may in fact drive him to it. If you accuse someone of something long enough, eventually they will be like screw it, im gettin the static for it, may as well be doin it.
Confidence, or at the very least the apperence of confidence is actually a big turn on for guys.Tell yourself, so what if im not perfect, who is? and hey? hes with me isnt he? If he didnt want to be with me, he wouldnt be, so i must be pretty dayum good myself.
I have been married for 17 yrs and i wasted 5 of those years being a jealous old trout . I was unhappy, i made my mate unhappy and all for nothing.He obviously loves me even though i dont see why, so i will trust his judgement that im a good person, and accept his love

Answer 9

do things that make you feel good physically...not saying that is the only thing that should matter but I find that when I look good(haircut, hairdye, new clothing, sexy outfit..) I feel good. Try doing something for yourself to make you feel sexy....that way when your out with your man you can feel confidant. No matter where you go there will be other women and you will drive yourself insane being insecure. You have the man now work at making him happy he is obviosuyl with YOU for a reason right!

Answer 10

Do some soul searching. Try to figure out why you are feeling the way you feel about yourself. Start giving yourself positive self-talk. Make a list of all of the positive things about you. You have to be confident in yourself, if your boyfriend is going to cheat, he is going to cheat. Not going somewhere is not going to prevent it. So, think positive and do little things for yourself to make you feel better. Get a pedicure or manicure or go on a mini shopping spree. Think positive.