I am very upset, do you think I have the right to be?

Question

We seperated a couple of months ago and we have a 2yr old son together. We are going to start scheduling visitation days(3x a wk-not ct. ordered). I am used to having him all the time and having my mom take care of him while I am at work. I asked him who was going to babysit him while he was at work on his days w/ our son. He said I don't need to know and he will not ask me where I leave our son on my days off. I am very upset because I feel I should know where my son is at if he is not w/ his father. I know he doesn't have a GF yet and I know his mom/sisters work during business hrs AND he can't afford day care on his own. I told him since he will not tell me, our son stays w/ me and he can visit our son that way or take it through court. Am I acting immature?? I don't want to find out he is leaving him w/ just anyone.

Answer 1

It makes sense to find a place you both agree on at this point for all care. Perhaps a daycare. It seems the most nuetral, and they will not restrict access. You have a right to know your son is not alone.
By the way, you should talk and get something in writing. Much can be done without a lawyer, but atleast you'll have something when this turns sour.

Answer 2

You are not being immature. You have every right to know who will take care of your son when his father is not around. It's what any caring and responsible parent does. There are a lot of crazies out there who do horrible things to children, and you DO NOT want them watching your child. If he won't tell you who it is and let you meet this person so you can see if they are trust-worthy, then have the court arrange the visitation.

Answer 3

You are completely right in your concern. In Wisconsin, both parents are to be notified of any "regular" day care placement. Also, if you were to switch shifts, in our state, we prefer placement with parent if that parent is available. So, if you worked 2nd shift, and he first, you would be provide care for the child on the other's shift. I am sorry to say this, but, the fact that he wants to keep it a secret, would make me think there is another woman involved. Regardless, you have a right to know where your child is AT ALL TIMES. If there were an emergency, you would need to sign for his medical care. I would consider getting an attorney involved if he tried to place him somewhere that I didn't know.

Answer 4

I think that you have every right to care about the well being of your son and know his whereabouts. You're ex is just being an a$$ right now. Hopefully, he will let his animosity go for the sake of the child. If not, go to court and get everything in writing.

Answer 5

You are not being immature at all! This is your child, and you have every right to know who will be caring for him when he is not with you. Actually, it sounds as though you husband is bitter about the split and using your child to get back at you. I think that you have made the right choice by telling him that you will not allow him to take your child unless he informs you of who will be caring for him. You sound like a good, caring mother. Keep up the good work.:)

Answer 6

Your soon to be ex has the same rights as you do regarding your son. When your son is in your custody, you have the right to decide who is going to care for him. His father has the same right when he has physical custody.

You are trying to control your ex, and using your son as a pawn. You are trying to say that you are worried about the child, but you really want to poke your nose into your ex's business.

You are acting childish, vindictive and immature!

As his father, he has the right to see his son. Unless there is evidence of abuse or neglect (and there does not seen to be any in this case) you are out of line.

I would bet that one of the problems in your marriage was your desire to control your husband. He is an adult, and can make his own choices!!

Answer 7

My husband has to have a supervisor when he has our daughter due to a medical condition.. My ex told me he could pick up any wh*&e in any bar to watch our daughter - I fought him and the courts told him no, he couldn't. I argued all the way through court that I should have the right to know and approve of who supervises (within reason) in case something happened to him, so I WOULD KNOW WHERE MY CHILD WAS. I won this right. You have every reason to know where your child is (as does he) in the event that one of you has an accident or dies. Yes, let him take you to court. Or explain what your concerns are and offer to reciprocate the information about who is watching the child. I'm sorry.. this is hard...

Answer 8

You have every right to ask. Make certain you have documented each request and been denied an answer though. Courts don't take your "word", they want to see documentation. If you refuse visitation without documentation, you'll look like you are just keeping the kid from his father. This will hurt you in the long run. DON'T TELL YOUR SOON TO BE EX YOU ARE DOING THIS...JUST DOCUMENT WHAT HE SAYS AND WHY YOU DON'T GIVE HIM YOUR 2YR OLD.

Answer 9

No ur not...it is ur job as a parent to always know where ur child is. U need to be prepared in case (God forbid) of an emergency. He's being immature about this situation and just trying to get ur goat. I would file a complaint with ur Atty so that this matter can be addressed in court.

Answer 10

I would feel the same way - there must be some way you can legally find out where he's being taken. I would ask your lawyer. It seems like being the parent - you should be able to know in case of emergerncy, the person watching him should have you as a contact number.