Backgound: My fiance was previously married to someone who cheated on her. I have never once given her a reason to doubt me in the 1 year and 4 months we have been together. We even made it through a 9 month period of a long distance relationship!
I told her that I have nothing to hide and that I'm not upset that she looked. Yet she now tells me that she has doesn't want to be the type of person who feels like she has to keep tabs on me. She is now saying that maybe "she's not ready for a relationship." And is thinking about throwing in the towell. We have not had many issues in our relationship but I have known that I am battling an uphill battle from the start.
Please help me get some insight to how she's feeling or what I can do to have her not just give up on our relationship. She feels completely terrible inside and I'm afraid her guilt and innability to see beyond what happened will ruin our relationship.
2007-07-17 10:16:36 · 4 answers · asked by cote' 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Save her the trouble - dump her snooping @$$!
"She's not ready for a relationship" is actually the truth - she jumped into your relationship without getting the closure she needed from her cheating ex!!
That's why she checked your email - and why she will continue to not trust you until the relationship falls apart...
After a period of "alone time", she'll be fine - but things will never change until she puts the past behind her!!
2007-07-17 10:26:31 · answer #1 · answered by Bubbles 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's a hard thing when you know the person your with is trust worthy, but you still have that feeling where geesh, maybe this is a lie, maybe he isn't for real, maybe he will leave me too. I understand how your fiance feels, once you have been hurt it's hard to believe someone could possibly be who you are really looking for in life because you feel like it's going to find a way of leaving, but it's also really hard for you. To sit there and do everything right and still not be trusted hurts. If I were you I wouldn't let her give up. Tell her this is what you want. You can't be without her. This does two things.....it lets her know wow...he must really care a lot about me if he is willing to fight hard to keep me...and it will take the trust level up another notch for her. Which is good for you.
However if the trust issue doesn't eventually get better, if the checking up on your emails turns into an obsession instead of just curiosity, then you better think about how good this is for either of you.
GOOD LUCK
2007-07-17 10:27:54 · answer #2 · answered by Angie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has she been to counseling, either individual or with you? If not, I recommend it.
She's been okay for a year and (almost) a half, and is now having trust issues - maybe the impending wedding is bringing up emotional memories of her previous marriage.
This absolutely must be addressed and resolved before your relationship can move forward. If the wedding date has been set, postpone it - indefinitely if necessary. Without a firm foundation, your marriage will crumble like a sandcastle.
I hope things work out for you.
2007-07-17 10:34:50 · answer #3 · answered by mrscjr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you both have issues give each other a bit of space not break up i mean but not see each other as mutch also i would change your password for your email accounts
2007-07-17 10:22:11 · answer #4 · answered by lisagrndy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋