TO FACE LIFE AND SOME PEOPLE
2007-07-17 08:24:05 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You don't need to toughen up.....a soft heart is a wonderful attribute when needed. You do need to be assertive and be able to have people understand your perspective, what behaviour you will or will not accept etc.
Do some assertiveness training.
Best wishes
2007-07-17 08:31:19 · answer #1 · answered by dave n 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Even the quietest person can only take a certain amount of crap and you do toughen up as you get older and wiser , it is an big mistake to let anyone walk over you if you feel you are being a push over just tell the person straight out what is bothering you you do not have to be aggressive to get your point across there will be as much thought of you in the long run and you will be seen as a stronger person .
2007-07-17 08:40:57 · answer #2 · answered by MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Practice, practice, practice. Try to"toughen up" your responses to people by using the trusted people in your life to be your guide. Get their opinions on how you should respond to others and practice saying to them or acting with them the way you want yourself to be. Alot of how we act is determined by habit, and your habit is to be soft hearted. It's not bad to have a soft heart and there will be situations that will call for it. Practice taking care of yourself, protecting yourself, and soon it will be second nature to react in you own best interests, whether that's being tough or soft.
2007-07-17 08:36:12 · answer #3 · answered by D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life has a way of doing that for you. Some people who are "too nice" can become more assertive by thinking about themselves as one of the people they'd help. ("I wouldn't let some other guy treat my friend they way that John is treating me.") or by thinking about how the person that's imposing on them is learning bad habits. ("If I don't stop my kid from taking money out of my wallet, he'll think stealing is okay and wind up in jail. Being in jail later is lots worse than having to apologize to me and pull weeds outside all afternoon.")
This works if the soft heart is based somewhat on low self-esteem. BTW, don't try to raise self-esteem general praise (You're so wonderful.).It doesn't work because they don't believe you. Find something specific to praise or just be quiet.
2007-07-17 08:31:35 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You actively make the EFFORT to toughen up. For example, I had way too tender of a heart related to seeing road slaughter . . . dead animals along the road. Every night I would drive home from work as a nurse and see numerous dead deer along the road. It was eating deep in me. So, I started stopping by a local country veterinarian's place and assisting with large animal surgeries and rescues. I was able to "face" the sight of the road kill better after that.
Another example. I stammered most of life and severely avoided situations where I had to speak with people. But, because I did that, I was hyper-sensitive from lack of exposure to conversational pressures. So, I helped a friend out in her breakfast restaurant as a waitress one winter. I forced myself to face people in brief, causual conversations. It didn't matter what they thought of me because they were just tourists and I'd never see them again. About a thousand tables waited-on later, I can now maintain steady eye-contact with people when I speak with them and I'm completely relaxed and "tough" enough to react in time for slings and arrows aimed at me.
We toughen up by delving methodically and courageously on our own time, in our way, at our own speed, into the problems that pester our confidence, that assail our sensitivities. We won't become "insensitive" in our hearts. Our heightened sensitivity to slings and arrows and horror NEVER truly fades. But, we can toughen up in other areas of our minds and spirits and character enough to carry and protect and support in healthy ways our tender hearts.
2007-07-17 08:41:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just Keep getting it Broken and it will toughen up
2007-07-17 08:31:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Join the Forces , you will see real Toughness there , not what you see by the smack heads at the bottom of the street
Get through Basic training then come back and ask the same question
2007-07-17 08:31:47 · answer #7 · answered by SPARKLING MJR 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stand your ground when you think you are right. never let anybody put you down or get the better of you. you can still have a good kind heart..but you are the boss in your life - do not suffer fools!!
as somebody else said..this comes with age - you get more confidence as you get older & wiser!
2007-07-17 08:34:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not easy--but does get easier as you get older.I am 41,almost 42,and no longer afraid to say what's on my mind when someone does me wrong.
2007-07-17 08:30:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
After you have taken enough crap from other people, toughness just comes naturally.
2007-07-17 08:27:39 · answer #10 · answered by magix151 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋