How come everyone uses me? And what am i to do about it? :(?

Question

I'm not even over-reacting one bit...
everyone uses me for their own needs...
my parents use me, they make me mind the baby so they can go out and enjoy but i never even get a thank you out of them.
my friends use me for advice but theyre never there to listen to me or my problems.
my "boyfriend" uses me for my money but he never actually treats me like a girlfriend.

Its things like this that make me feel really unappreciated, and i am seriously tired of taking this from everyone...
does anyone have any advice for me?

please dont leave mean comments because i am already in a very bad condition....
thanks.

Answer 1

Have you talked to your parents about how you feel? Maybe you could work out a deal with them to where you get a small amount of money or get to use the car/get a ride somewhere. Tell them you feel under appreciated and that you would like it if they at least thanked you sometimes.

Talk to your friends about how you feel. If they are good friends then they will listen to how you feel. Most likely they don't know that they are doing this and hopefully things can start moving in a good direction.

If your "boyfriend" is just using you for money and you aren't getting anything out of the relationship, then you don't need to be with him. If you feel like you want to salvage the relationship then you start calling the shots. Tell him why you're unhappy in the relationship and what you want him to do differently. Otherwise, dump him and move on and find someone who will appreciate you and treat you like you should be treated. You don't need a man to be a woman. If you're not getting anything from him back then he isn't worth your time.

You obviously know that you are worth it to be appreciated. Let everyone know it.
Good luck!

Answer 2

I am a lot like you in that respect.

The first thing you have to do is put your foot down. You are allowing yourself to be used because you are not speaking up for yourself.

Let your parents know that you feel unappreciated when you watch the baby, and that the baby is not your responsiblity. Especially when you want to go out and be a kid yourself. You should scare them into taking care of THEIR baby by telling them that because you watch the baby so much, you're getting the desire to have a baby yourself. I guarantee that they will think TWICE before making you babysit again...lol.

And if your friends are using you for advice, then stop giving them the advice they are seeking. Eventually they will get the hint. You can hope that your friends will "change" and start listening to your problems, but I can almost guarantee that they won't. If you have a problem and they interrupt you while you're talking, just keep talking. Don't let them butt in. A good idea would be to start trying to meet new and different friends.

As far as your boyfriend goes, stop giving him money. You are basically paying him to be your "boyfriend". I bet that once the money stops flowing, he will be gone in a heart beat. And even though you may be hurt by it, you should know that you do not need someone like him in your life. There are plenty of fish in the sea girl! :)

Good luck to you! :)

Answer 3

It's your own choices that have led you to the condition that you find yourself. No one made you choose the boyfriend that you have currently and you have the option to walk away. It's important that you empower yourself....not by going overboard and telling everyone 'off', but by carefully considering the options that you have now. You choose to play the role of the 'victim'--you can recreate the person that you are if you choose to do so. You are probably a very loving person that allows yourself to have these 'one-sided' relationships, whether that be with friends, family, or romantic relationships. Empower yourself, figure out what it is that you want & that is important to you, pick your battles carefully and express how you feel with those you love. It's important that you let people know what you need--tell your parents that you would like to go out and do something fun instead of keeping the baby, tell your friends that you'd like for them to listen to you talk about your problems, and forget telling the boyfriend anything (just quit taking that creep's phone calls or providing money). It's all up to you girlfriend--and it seems like you've had enough. Stay strong, figure out what your strengths are and make a different plan. After an initial period of adjustment, my guess is you'll find it fun to have discovered the freedom to do as you choose. Good Luck

Answer 4

I think you should stop being so passive ... when you feel like saying "no" ... then you say "NO!" And when you feel unappreciated for all the nice things you do for people ... you need to stand up and say how you feel. Don't be quiet about things like this ... because these are very things that can tear people apart. Nobody deserves to be treated the way people are treating you. You need to take a charge of your life ... no matter how shy or awkward it may seem. You stand up and say "You know what, I'm sick and tired of getting treated like this. I always do everything for everybody ... and what do I get in return? ... NOTHING ... So before I do any nice favors or gestures ... you need to treat me with some respect." Now you don't have to say that ... but you know what I mean. You can't keep things bottled up for too long ... because once you do ... they are bound to explode ... and then things are really gonna go down hill.

--hope I helped

Answer 5

What is your definition of "using"??

Your parents feed, clothe and house you. As a member of your family you are (contributing) to the operation of the family by assisting them with babysitting while they go on a "break" from the stresses of raising the family that YOU are a member of.
As for your "friends" .. IF that's the way you feel about those that YOU'VE chosen to surround yourself with and call "friends", then it's time to find new ones.
As for the "boyfriend" .. IF he makes you feel anything less than positive about the relationship, it's time to move on as well.

It sounds like you are a narcissist and perhaps looking at the world around you with a different perspective would actually help your outlook. It would definately be a starting point to a more wonderful and less selfish place for you.

Answer 6

Do your parents give you something as an appreciation but just don't say the words? Maybe they don't know that you want to hear a thank you, thinking that you'd rather have a nice pair of jeans or a cute purse. I would start by talking to my parents, because they're the ones who are going to be most receptive to pleasing you.

With your friends, do they not listen when you specifically want to talk, or do they just not ask you how things are going with you? I have people like this in my life. It hurts, but I try to avoid my time with them. I focus on those who seem to care more about me.

About the boyfriend, talk to him about what sort of boyfriend behaviors you would appreciate. Maybe he doesn't know how you feel.

Answer 7

I used to be in your situation. I used to be a doormat for everyone to walk on. You have to learn to stand up for yourself. You have to let people know that you are not going to allow them to treat you that way. Because as long as you let them, people will walk all over you and use you for everything that you have. It is gonna be hard at first, but learn to use the word "NO". Use it whenever you feel like you are being taken advantage of. If the people in your life get upset and leave you then you will know that you really didn't need them in the first place. I'm not saying be a b**** about it. Just politely tell them no, that you don't have enought money, or that you can't babysit tonight. If you haven't already, sit down with your friends and talk to them about it. Let them know how you feel about them taking advantage of you. In fact sit down with everyone and let them know. They probably aren't even aware of how you feel. I hope that everything works out and good luck!

Answer 8

There is a saying that goes, "No one can take advantage of you without your permission." (You have the power and control to tell people, "no." They use you because they know you're an easy mark.)

For the babysitting, tell your parents you'd like to be paid for watching the baby. It doesn't have to be a lot but something so that you don't feel like they're taking advantage of you. As for your friends, it's okay to say, "I'm sorry that you're feeling bad" and not get into their drama. They dump their emotions on you because you let them. Finally, your boyfriend is not your boyfriend but a freeloader. If you keeping say, "No" to him when he asks you for money, he'll get the hint and go away (and find another girl who'll give him $) or respect you for finding your self esteem.

Good luck and remember, it's totally okay to say, "no."

Answer 9

You need to learn to stick up for yoUrself. Express Ur feeling. As far as babysitting yea your parent should say thank u but remember someone had to watch u. U need to cut ur boyfriend lose u should never give a man money especially when he is not treating u well. And if your friend wont listen find someone who will.

Answer 10

Honey... its sad enough that you allow these people to use you and that you feel so down and out about it...
how old are you would be question because it may determine why you allow your parents to take such advantage.
If you are over the age to take responsibility for yourself then you should talk to your parents about how you feel.
And if you already did and was ignored then you may need to STAND-UP to them.
your friends that uses you for advices only are NOT your friends...
"False friends are like Autumn leaves- FOUND EVERYWHERE.
True friends are like diamonds- PRECIOUS AND RARE!"
why settle for false friends when you can have true friends that care about you and not just theirself.
And the case,your boyfriend, you need to examine your relationship and the foundation of it...
first to begin ... how much do you want this relationship or how much do you need it?
sometime what we WANT, is not what we NEED...
Don't be too available to everyone needs, especially your boyfriend's because only then they will appreciate who you are and what you mean to them.
only then you'll know who cares about you and who really uses you.